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Still questioning, just watched PørnHůb..


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So since I've been on here, I saw people saying have you ever fantasized about anything, Ive seen people saying they masturbate while watching porn..

 

And actually I'd never tried to watch it before.. and like I just tried to give it a look.. and it just makes me even more uncomfortable, like is it really what it's supposed to be like, cause I found it gross, and like no way I want to do any of what I've seen. I don't see what is supposed to be hot in that. Or why people are even watching it to give pleasure to themselves...

 

So all those questions.. could it be an additional sign of me probably being asexual?

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It means you are probably sex-repulsed which yes, could be a sign you are asexual.

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Lysandre, the Star-Crossed

Certain kinds of porn made me uncomfortable early on, but overall it didn't. I'd assume that if you're averse to porn you're probably asexual, but that's not automatic. There are a lot of sexual folks who are averse to porn, the two are not automatically going to go together.

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MoraDollie

When it comes to visual erotics, a lot of people will turn a video on and close their eyes and mostly listen to the audio since humans can often find that extremely attractive/turning on. There's a million and one different genres and sub-categories, of all different "levels" or "intensity" as well (light, quiet sounds vs more engaging sounds vs hardcore loud sounds). Some people will just go to audio-specific sites and just use those to "enhance" the fantasies. 

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GingerRose
13 hours ago, 2000Sandy said:

So since I've been on here, I saw people saying have you ever fantasized about anything, Ive seen people saying they masturbate while watching porn..

 

And actually I'd never tried to watch it before.. and like I just tried to give it a look.. and it just makes me even more uncomfortable, like is it really what it's supposed to be like, cause I found it gross, and like no way I want to do any of what I've seen. I don't see what is supposed to be hot in that. Or why people are even watching it to give pleasure to themselves...

 

So all those questions.. could it be an additional sign of me probably being asexual?

Pornhub is one of many porn sites that are extreme. As someone who uses porn sites, they tend to have very rough scenarios, especially ones that put women in a very objectifying state. Whether that be a turn on or not for people, it's a successful, but harsh site. 

 

In general, most porn sites are for getting people off, not to show you the majority of realistic sexual situations. People might get ideas for kinks or positions they want to try, but it's not about how things are really done.

 

I'd say too that not all videos are alike on there. I would feel uncomfortable too if I watched porn that I am not attracted to. It's a big matter of preference.

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SheBeagles

The majority of it is very male centric... geared toward quick gratification, not at all indicative of real world encounters. And.. as many who use it become desensitized, the material gets ever more graphic, crass and lacking in any and all of the nuances and emotional aspects of real world sexual encounters. Think about how food ads work... and how they have changed over time. Or, for that matter, how anything that affects our senses/emotions/primitive responses has changed... it used to be that just alluding to a dead body in a movie or tv show was scary and triggered empathy etc. Now the average seven year old has seen hundreds of simulated murders... and look at how bodies and death are in general tame tv/movies. Remember Bones? Every episode had rotten corpses in more bizarre and gruesome displays. So... now come back to porn and just imagine what has to happen in order to get the level of response. So it is sex but stripped of anything about how encounters actually happen.... to just hype that targets hormones. In fact, people who are very much fully sexual people can become so desensitized they stop having real world sex... and can find hard core porn no longer stimulating. Porn should not be a measure of any part of anyone’s sexuality or orientation.  If it helps people achieve whatever goal they have... release or whatever - great. I dont condemn it... but it is not a gauge nor is it wise to be the only outlet one has if uncertain of their own sexuality etc... not bc it is wrong... but it can and will impact your responses, or lack thereof. Use accordingly 🙂

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30 minutes ago, SheBeagles said:

The majority of it is very male centric... geared toward quick gratification, not at all indicative of real world encounters. And.. as many who use it become desensitized, the material gets ever more graphic, crass and lacking in any and all of the nuances and emotional aspects of real world sexual encounters. Think about how food ads work... and how they have changed over time. Or, for that matter, how anything that affects our senses/emotions/primitive responses has changed... it used to be that just alluding to a dead body in a movie or tv show was scary and triggered empathy etc. Now the average seven year old has seen hundreds of simulated murders... and look at how bodies and death are in general tame tv/movies. Remember Bones? Every episode had rotten corpses in more bizarre and gruesome displays. So... now come back to porn and just imagine what has to happen in order to get the level of response. So it is sex but stripped of anything about how encounters actually happen.... to just hype that targets hormones. In fact, people who are very much fully sexual people can become so desensitized they stop having real world sex... and can find hard core porn no longer stimulating. Porn should not be a measure of any part of anyone’s sexuality or orientation.  If it helps people achieve whatever goal they have... release or whatever - great. I dont condemn it... but it is not a gauge nor is it wise to be the only outlet one has if uncertain of their own sexuality etc... not bc it is wrong... but it can and will impact your responses, or lack thereof. Use accordingly 🙂

This is true, sex amongst two people that really love each other 90% of the time is not like the way porn depicts, especially hardcore porn.

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everywhere and nowhere
2 hours ago, GingerRose said:

Pornhub is one of many porn sites that are extreme. As someone who uses porn sites, they tend to have very rough scenarios, especially ones that put women in a very objectifying state. Whether that be a turn on or not for people, it's a successful, but harsh site. 

 

In general, most porn sites are for getting people off, not to show you the majority of realistic sexual situations. People might get ideas for kinks or positions they want to try, but it's not about how things are really done.

 

I'd say too that not all videos are alike on there. I would feel uncomfortable too if I watched porn that I am not attracted to. It's a big matter of preference.

True, but nobody has to like porn. If someone already feels repulsed by watching it, I wouldn't encourage such a person to keep watching other variants. To me it seems clear that the OP didn't really feel a need to watch it for libido-related purposes, but was rather using porn to verify her asexuality.

If someone dislikes porn... it's a good thing, really. A lot of porn is objectifying or even coercive (famous example: "Deep Throat"... the actress later said that "every time you are watching my films, you are watching me being raped"), so the less people watch it, the better.

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I have mixed feelings about porn. Most of it makes me uncomfortable, because of the objectification of women, because of the lack of emotion, because two bodies just going at it is really unattractive. However, I admit that I sometimes watch videos of men pleasuring themselves because 1. It tends to be real, not fake, not forced. 2. The sounds of a man genuinely moaning is hot af. But pretty much all other types of porn make me uncomfortable. It's totally unattractive. Love scenes in movies are more of a turn on if they are filmed in a way I like - romantically. I tried reading erotica instead of visual porn but 99% of it is written really badly and is usually kinky in some way and I am vanilla af. I'm a writer and have written sex scenes in my own stories (not erotica or smut) and find I enjoy writing my own stuff much more enjoyable than reading anyone else's. 

 

In general, porn is *not* a representation of real sex, especially not sex between two people who love each other. There are people who are not asexual who still aren't attracted to porn. 

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WhiteCatandcherries

When I began to wonder if I was asexual I googled porn and clicked google images - just seeing how I would react to the visual without having to watch a video - and it looked really gross. Now you can feel sexual attraction and still be sex repulsed - but I kinda think that in that case you can choose whether to identity as a sex repulsed allosexual or somewhere on the asexual spectrum as in you feel sexual attraction but feeling no desire makes you relate enough to the asexual experience that you choose to identity as such. I ended up realizing that I feel no sexual attraction besides feeling no desire and being sex repulsed - but it actually kinda helped: everytime I was really doubting my identity I could just google image search porn and my first thought was "ew" and "this is everything that is wrong with real sex: it is real and with real people" - and then the doubt kinda faded.

 

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There are many people who enjoy sex but dislike porn. There is also a VERY wide variety of porn out there.  So your finding porn off-putting doesn't mean you are asexual, but it hints a little that way.

 

If you want to continue to experiment, there is much more realistic porn under some "amateur" and "homemade" keywords - but it still being done for show. Porn is still fantasy.

 

I'm sexual, but I find most standard porn boring (but not disturbing) but enjoy the more realistic things

 

Not knowing what porn you saw, its difficult to know. Some shows activities that are pretty rare, and things most couples would not enjoy and some many would find off-putting, Other porn shows common activities.

 

All that said, what matters is whether you have a desire for sex.  There is not need to experiment in any way that makes you uncomfortable

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