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The GNC/trans double bind


ShepherdsMagpie

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ShepherdsMagpie

I’ve come to the conclusion that the average transphobe is either amnesiac or malevolently stupid.

 

Exhibit A: Suppose I’m a tomboy named Jane. No, not even a tomboy, just not “200% Certified Woman™”. Everywhere I go, people insist that I’m not, and will not ever be, a real woman. Now suppose I’m a trans man né Jane. The same cohort will suddenly insist that I am very much a woman. The same applies for John, the less than “200% Certified Man™”, who’s constantly feminised and emasculated, and the trans woman née John, who suddenly becomes “Maleness Eternal”. I mean, there are certain (sub)cultures where the only “real” men are those who are unapologetically aggressive. If you so much as condemn violence, they say you aren’t a man, just a little pussy. Your name’s John? They’ll only ever call you Jane. But as soon as you come out as a trans woman, they tell you in no uncertain terms that you’ll never be anything but a man. You ask them to call you Jane? They’ll only ever call you John.

 

Exhibit B: If you cut a more masculine figure due to your genetics, the rallying cry is that you are no less of a woman. If you never bleed due to some hormonal imbalance, the rallying cry is that you are no less of a woman. If you lose your hair, your tits, your entire reproductive system due to an illness, the rallying cry is that you are no less of a woman. If you reject traditionally feminine looks and occupations, the rallying cry is that you are no less of a woman. Because, they say, being a woman is a spiritual concept; you have to feel it in your soul. … Then pray tell, say I, why the ever-loving foxtrot can they not understand what being transgender is?! Why do they mock us by declaring themselves attack helicopters when they (supposedly) know exactly what “feeling your gender in your very soul, whatever your bodily reality may be” means?!

 

I’m sick of their double standards. On an unrelated note: I guess those “loud and proud” heterosexuals who call gay sex disgusting never engage in (much less outright demand) anal sex in their straight relationships…

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Deltalorian

There is no standard for hate and bigotry. It stands on its own, without reason, so it appears reasonless and irrational to the rational. The crown jewel of bigotry is hypocrisy; they go hand in hand, in unholy matrimony.

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SilenceRadio

While people can definitely be hypocrites, the people who misgender trans people don't always overlap with the people who claim that feminine men aren't "real men", and so on.

 

1 hour ago, ShepherdsMagpie said:

Because, they say, being a woman is a spiritual concept; you have to feel it in your soul. … Then pray tell, say I, why the ever-loving foxtrot can they not understand what being transgender is?! Why do they mock us by declaring themselves attack helicopters when they (supposedly) know exactly what “feeling your gender in your very soul, whatever your bodily reality may be” means?!

This is my experience only, and therefore it's limited, but I personally have never seen a transmisic person claim gender was a (solely) spiritual concept. They always refer to biology, or what people have determined you to be. I once saw a TERF on Twitter who talked about how she didn't feel like a woman. Considering how many, many cis people don't "feel" their gender and just default to it (as seen with the self-identified cisgenderless people), they are simply experiencing a blind spot: they don't understand why they could ever be a different gender when they've never had the desire to be seen as anything else than their assigned gender. They say it's "basic biology", not realizing that there is so much more to biology than what they know, and that they'd require "advanced biology" to understand trans people.

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Lysandre, the Star-Crossed

I was often treated as "less than a boy" growing up, although both sides of the binary bullied me for what they perceived me as. It wasn't really that I was seen as not being male, but more that I was seen as not "doing it right". They never denied me being male, only treatment as an equal among males. I was male, just not "male enough".

 

I've heard very similar sentiments out of bisexual, non-binary, and biracial folks before. They get told things like...

"You're not gay enough."

"You're not trans enough."

"You're not black (or whatever race) enough."

 

It's the unfortunate trap that people who don't fit entirely into neat little boxes experience. The arbitrary "us or them" mentality that renders some folks part of a homogeneous "them" to which they do not truly belong. The world is too binary in its thinking 

Edited by Lysandre, the Star-Crossed
Clarified some ambiguous language
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7 hours ago, ShepherdsMagpie said:

I’ve come to the conclusion that the average transphobe is either amnesiac or malevolently stupid.

 

yes, everyone is the same!

 

7 hours ago, ShepherdsMagpie said:

Exhibit A: Suppose I’m a tomboy named Jane. No, not even a tomboy, just not “200% Certified Woman™”. Everywhere I go, people insist that I’m not, and will not ever be, a real woman. Now suppose I’m a trans man né Jane. The same cohort will suddenly insist that I am very much a woman. The same applies for John, the less than “200% Certified Man™”, who’s constantly feminised and emasculated, and the trans woman née John, who suddenly becomes “Maleness Eternal”. I mean, there are certain (sub)cultures where the only “real” men are those who are unapologetically aggressive. If you so much as condemn violence, they say you aren’t a man, just a little pussy. Your name’s John? They’ll only ever call you Jane. But as soon as you come out as a trans woman, they tell you in no uncertain terms that you’ll never be anything but a man. You ask them to call you Jane? They’ll only ever call you John.

 

I literally never have encountered such a thing. To be honest, what someone else says doesn't dictate what you feel or identify as. Though I guess, defining something is a social construct that requires other people. But it is import to know, that no matter whether Jane is a tomboy or a trans woman or a 100% real authentic woman and there's no such thing as a woman who's not a woman, well, Jane still feels the way they feel. And how they feel is perfectly natural and ok and acceptable and wonderful and unique and beautiful and valid.

 

 

7 hours ago, ShepherdsMagpie said:

Exhibit B: If you cut a more masculine figure due to your genetics, the rallying cry is that you are no less of a woman. If you never bleed due to some hormonal imbalance, the rallying cry is that you are no less of a woman. If you lose your hair, your tits, your entire reproductive system due to an illness, the rallying cry is that you are no less of a woman. If you reject traditionally feminine looks and occupations, the rallying cry is that you are no less of a woman. Because, they say, being a woman is a spiritual concept; you have to feel it in your soul. … Then pray tell, say I, why the ever-loving foxtrot can they not understand what being transgender is?! Why do they mock us by declaring themselves attack helicopters when they (supposedly) know exactly what “feeling your gender in your very soul, whatever your bodily reality may be” means?!

it's ironic isn't it?

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ElloryJaye

There are people who just want an excuse to look down on someone—anyone—because it makes them feel better about their own psychological issues.  Therefore, they'll choose whatever narrative allows them to dump on a person.  Logic and internal consistency have nothing to do with it.

 

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