CALLING ALL AUTISTICS

[vaguelyyetpowerfullygay]

I gather there are a lot of autistics on here; I also. If you're autistic and you feel a struggle with romantic attraction, tell me about it. For me, social interactions have always felt like a mine field because it feels so easy to do something wrong. That feels like it's magnified 10x for romance, plus it can be so hard to understand my own feelings. Even talking to my therapist I sometimes have trouble naming my own emotions. Have any other autistics experienced this? (Allistics are welcome to contribute, but I'm really looking for autistic input here.)

[Captain_Tass]

1 hour ago, vaguelyyetpowerfullygay said:

For me, social interactions have always felt like a mine field because it feels so easy to do something wrong. That feels like it's magnified 10x for romance

Yup, 100% this.

 

1 hour ago, vaguelyyetpowerfullygay said:

plus it can be so hard to understand my own feelings. Even talking to my therapist I sometimes have trouble naming my own emotions.

I have this too! An emotion needs to be both very strong and characteristic for me to recognise. Right now, I'm going through what I can recognise as a depressive episode. I can recognise it as such because it's very intense and it's also characteristic (it's happened before and felt exactly like this)

 

All in all, I relate.

[Lysandre, the Star-Crossed]

I'm autistic, but I have more of a struggle with non-romantic relationships than romantic ones. My communication style is generally mistaken for more flirtatious or hostile than it is meant to be, so having people in the "acquaintances" or "friends" category is tough. People frequently mistake me for hating them or wanting to date them, which is something I'm still working on. Apparently my vibe is "fuck everybody" in more than one sense.

[Janus the Fox]

Im autistic and often it isn’t a struggle in a way, as it’s completely absent personally, despite being in a relationship with another ace.  The Autism and/or lack of social concept, learning difficulties might mean I don’t struggle with socialising, it’s just completely absent and struggle to function with the social world.

[Anomaly Q3Xr]

I am autistic, and whilst romantic relationships can be a struggle, I have managed to find myself in a fair few since my 20's.

 

I find all relationships a struggle, because I always feel awkward and uncomfortable, and never know what to say. Many times I have said completely the wrong thing because I simply speak what enters my head, I always prefer to speak the truth and sometimes that can get me into trouble.

 

I do better with speaking to people in text form, because I can elaborate more than I can when put on the spot, and I have a chance to evaluate what I have written to determine if any of it would cause upset.

 

I also do not understand concepts of love beyond romantic love. I do not use the word love for anything else (unless stating my undying love for my created universe, but I mean relationship wise). People use love all the time, but I do not use it for friends, family, etc, only for my partner, because whilst I care about the other people (and in fact all people) I do not love them.

 

I am in a romantic relationship at present with another autistic asexual person.

[Someone Else]

I can't even count the number of times I thought things were going really well with a woman, lots of chemistry, laughs, etc, but then she explodes with anger, as if it had been simmering and finally overflowed.  I get floored and blindsighted.  And then the dreaded, "You know why I'm angry.  You're just being deliberately obtuse."
It has happened SO many times that I'm ready to believe that one very obsessed person has followed me around the internet under an ever-changing username, pretending to be a new person each time.  Ok, not really, but it feels that way. 

[Guest]

I literally never desired a romantic relationship with anyone until I was an adult, at 20. And the last time I felt romantic attraction was at 24, and nothing, until now 32. Fuckin anoying, I tell you. I literally have very little experience dating others. I guarantee my next dating experience won't be a long term relationship, and I am already 32. It makes me mad and frustrated and disappointed and irritated.