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Has anyone here gotten sterilized under 30?


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RoseGoesToYale

(Referring to procedures that prevent the ability to impregnate/become pregnant naturally, not castration)

 

I figure this'll be a long shot here, because a lot of AVENites aren't having sex, nor are even interested in sexual relationships anyway, but it's worth an ask. Has anybody here gotten their their tubes tied/removed while under the age of 30? If yes, how much of a harrowing ordeal was it to find a doctor willing to do it?

 

As a demisexual person, I have no idea if I'll ever have sex. I've felt sexual attraction once, to a member of the opposite sex, and for me that's enough of a reason to take precautions. I decided I never wanted kids at age 5. I've wanted to get sterilized since I was 16, before I thought I was asexual, and when I thought I was asexual I figured it'd be overkill (though heaven forbid I ever become a victim of SA). Obviously, you can't get sterilized in the US until you're 18, but even then, most doctors won't sterilize you unless you've had at least one child or are in your thirties. I've done so much research and read so many testimonials and anecdotes from other female-bodies folks trying to get sterilized, and it's just spirit-breaking. Endless bingoing (if you've never heard of that, see here), gender-specific harassment, and doctors who just flat out waste your time only to say no. I've avoided pursuing it because my mental health is fragile enough as it is, on top of various medical phobias.

 

It took a global pandemic to get me to overcome my fear of needles. I'm thinking it might take the possibility of complete obliteration of women's and medical rights to push me to overcome my fear of surgery. This whole thing with Roe has lit a fire under my ass, and I'm terrified these fascist nutjobs are going to after contraception next (and some in some states are already saying they will). I don't trust Ron DeInsanity farther than I can spit. I just want some assurance that I won't have go through 50 different doctors and years and years of pleading and by then not only will I not be able to get sterilized, but the country will have become a real-life Handmaid's Tale.

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Luftschlosseule

A friend looked into this last year and was ranting to me about how hard they make it for people. She was told that the problem is that some people are so afraid of being pregnant that they have gotten the procedure done, only to realise they really, really want to be pregnant and they sued the medical professionals.
So on top of society being what it is, they are just trying to safe their own hide.

 

I am sorry I have nothing more to add, and I am sorry you - and every other AFAB in the US - is going through this. If I could I'd just invite you all over.

Feel hugged if you like.

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Ella of Frell

My doctor was quite reluctant to do it and asked me about a dozen times if I was sure despite the fact that I had the procedure done at the same time as the c-section for my third child (I had previously had twins). I can only imagine how difficult it must be for someone without children. My main advice would be to seek an LGBTQ+ doctor and make sure you ask for your tubes to be tied rather than the ends to be removed (which is becoming more common as it reduces the risk of cancer in the future). Technically, having your tubes tied is reversible, so you will be more likely to get a doctor to agree to that. 

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Sister Mercurial

Yes, when I was 22.  The way I went about getting it done on the NHS may be different to the US procedure, though.  

 

Age 18: Already knew I didn't want kids, talked about this with GP at uni.  GP said they wouldn't do it straight away, you needed to have a long term contraception method and reflect on it.  Got 3 year contraceptive implant despite phobia of needles, managed not to faint until they'd done it.  

 

Age 21: Went to GP in small town where I grew up first of all, but they referred to consultant at local hospital (Tameside General Hospital, one of the worst in the UK), who was an idiot and wouldn't agree to it.  Then back to uni and discussed this with tutor (in Cambridge, this means professor assigned to pastoral care of students).  She mentioned the name of a specialist at Addenbrooke's (main hospital in Cambridge) who might do it.  Went to uni GP, got referral which didn't specify to whom.  NHS didn't send appointment within specified time frame.  Phoned department, said I was supposed to have a referral by now to [name of doctor mentioned by tutor] but it hadn't been sent.  Got referral to the right doctor.  Meanwhile, read up on books to do with being childfree so I could answer the doctor's questions (one I found especially helpful was 'Childfree and Sterilized: Women's Decisions and Medical Repsonses' by Annily Campbell).  Had appointment with doctor, got surgery scheduled a few months later, after my next b'day (this may be important: at least in the UK, the woman's age is part of the calculation for whether to approve the request).  

 

Age 22: The day after the last of my uni final exams, went into hospital and got my tubes tied.  

 

The main lesson to draw from this: it depends on finding a good doctor who's willing to refer you and doing your research.  Back in the day, I was a member of various Yahoo groups for childfree people.  In the end, I didn't need to draw on their combined wisdom re doctors willing to refer because I had a contact who knew a doctor who would do it, but if you don't have a source of trusted information about doctors likely to understand, definitely look into online communities, websites etc. where you can find sympathetic doctors in your area.  

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17 hours ago, Luftschlosseule said:

A friend looked into this last year and was ranting to me about how hard they make it for people. She was told that the problem is that some people are so afraid of being pregnant that they have gotten the procedure done, only to realise they really, really want to be pregnant and they sued the medical professionals.
So on top of society being what it is, they are just trying to safe their own hide.

 

I am sorry I have nothing more to add, and I am sorry you - and every other AFAB in the US - is going through this. If I could I'd just invite you all over.

Feel hugged if you like.

Is there a way to get this procedure early? I heard in some places they restrict it under a certain age under the assumption "You may want kids one day". 

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Luftschlosseule
7 hours ago, Reindeer said:

Is there a way to get this procedure early? I heard in some places they restrict it under a certain age under the assumption "You may want kids one day". 

She was told she would need a psych evaluation to make sure she was making a sensible decision and not one based on fear.
But since the times are what they are and other stuff happened I don't think she went further down the road as of yet.

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Lysandre, the Star-Crossed

I'd be curious to know if clinics or doctors that operate solely on informed consent exist for this purpose. I'd really like to get a vasectomy, but I'm a 24 year old so many doctors aren't going to want to do that on me. I'm going to go with the tone of "I don't want any biological children because of my inheritable medical problems" and hope the doctor thinks that's a strong enough reason. If not, I may go lie about having kids already or just take one of my female friends and her kid with me so they think I've been around the block already.

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DarkStormyKnight

Gah I'd love to get my tubes tied. Or the whole uterus removed. That'd be amazing. I haven't started the process yet though because I just know that it's going to be a struggle.

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  • 1 year later...
Vasectomy at 22

This thread happened to catch my eye,  I had not given much thought to having childred at age 22.  However I began dating a 40 year old woman and we really hit it off.  She however didn't want to be pregnant again, she already had three.  I realized being a father wasn't high on my priority list and having a vasectomy was the way to go.  As she had more time then I she began trying to find a docter who would do the deed.  It took almost a month to find and schedule one.  Even then I had to plead for the procedure particularly when I insisted that it be performed so that reversal would be impossible.  

 

Soon after we were married and at my request about once a month she would give me gentle squeeze and tell me she was so happy that balls didn't  work.  We were married for almost 50 years.  The night before she passed she told me how happy she was that my balls had been cut.  That is a memory I will always enjoy.

 

So yes having a vassectomy under 30 was one of the best things ever.  If you are so inclined keep looking for the right doctor you will be very glad you did.

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