I'm disgusted by straight porn

[Brazilian woman]

The title says it all. I hate straight porn because it's so sexist. I don't wanna date a man who watches porn. I wanna date a man who feels as disgusted by straight porn as I do. I wanna date a man who has ''pornphobia'' or something. It's not only porn, it's straight pornography in general. Texts, images, etc. The idea of dating a man who does not feel disgusted by any kind of pornography disgusts me.

Surprisingly, I like watching gay porn because I like to hear men moaning. But I recognise that even gay porn is sexist and problematic. I like watching men being submissive to other men. But I hate watching women being submissive to men, ew.

Do you guys hate straight porn as much as I do?

 

 

 

 

[Ceebs]

1 hour ago, Brazilian woman said:

Do you guys hate straight porn as much as I do?

As a general category? No. A lot of porn is shit just because... well, it's shit... but straight porn doesn't bother me because it's straight. 

[Deltalorian]

It's kinda weird. The majority of pornographic content is made intended for a male audience, regardless if any men are in it, which I think is the most disgusting part of it. Technically, porn is art, and if you want to make it, that's fine by me, but too many actresses are forced into the industry for me to like the industry as a whole. Books and smut are fine enough, so long as they aren't about real people. Drawn/animated stuff is also fine, so long as you aren't using it to get away with making stuff that would be illegal otherwise (eg cp). For the most part, while I'm not disgusted by it, I definitely think that as a whole, the industry is too morally bankrupt in it's current state and therefore has an overall net negative on people's mental health.

[Lysandre, the Star-Crossed]

Not into gay porn because I'm (99% of the time) not into dudes. Other porn is fine, but I'd much rather just do the things being depicted than live vicariously through video.

[Sarah-Sylvia]

What I find funky about porn is that it's pretty much just horny or fetishistic, it doesn't portay the loving kind of sex I've heard about or is supposedly meant to be about.

I wouldn't have a problem with that if it was just a niche thing people can look for, but that it's the main portrayal of sex online is not that great.

 

Porn is cool in one sense, freedom to express and share sexuality makes sense. But there's a lot around what's been said and how big it is that could be problematic.

Don't see how gay sex is any better. 

[uhtred]

There is a huge range of porn out there - enough for almost any taste.  I don't object to anything where there wasn't some actual coercion  in its making.

 

Its very difficult to know what percentage of men and women watch straight porn. 

Its also fine for the OP not to like porn, and not to date someone who does - just be aware that a lot of people do, so it reduces the number of available partnres.

[uhtred]

One other thought: Porn is fantasy.   As my user name suggests, I like watching streaming series where violent guys with swords slaughter each other. But I'm as non violent as anyone you have every met.   The things that entertain me have nothing to do with things I want in real life.

 

For many porn may be the same. Its a fantasy.

But... there are people who think porn is real, and that can be a very big problem.  Its like thinking James Bond movies represent intelligence work.

[EmeraldIce]

I prefer straight porn. I hate watching men act and look submissive. I also hate women acting like they can't get enough. Blow jobs in particular disgust me because of the wild look in the women's eyes. If sex is involved, I usually gravitate toward stuff where it's either forced or completely innocent. By innocent I mean where there's not a huge production of how much they like it, and the woman doesn't make too much noise. If there's cheating, I like scenes where men who shamelessly cheat without bothering to be super discreet. I also don't do gay porn in general because the whole reason I watch porn is to project myself into the scenario. I don't see the point of watching two men going at it when that's never going to be me. Lesbian porn also doesn't do it for me because the power dynamic isn't there.

 

But I also just like to watch spanking-specific sites where there's no sex involved, and I prefer it when the spanking is not accompanied by any sort of sexual or sensual activity because that defeats the whole point. Hate it when they exhibit genitals in those sites though, because we're there to watch the spanking, not the genitals.

 

Backstory, I grew up idolizing self-sacrificial people and book/movie characters who can take a lot of torment and still treat others with kindness. There's part of my mind where I felt like the more suffering you go through at the hands of your tormentors, the more your kindness to them stands out. As I got older, I've realized that no healthy relationship should look anything like that, and that if I had to actually go through these experiences for real, it would be horrifying. However, the fantasy of these scenarios hasn't died out, and I enjoying living in that fantasy world knowing that I am in a safe position myself.

 

On that note, remember that people who watch degrading types of porn don't always have that type of mentality or morals. Like, for example, I like watching porn where a woman is submissive to a man who is shameless and relentless in his treatment of her. But in real life, I would never want to date or even be around someone who did not treat women as capable and worthy individuals who deserve to pursue their own dreams and aspirations. I would for sure be interested in playing out those scenarios with someone I trust, but to me it's crossing a line if they actually believe it and take those depraved morals as their own.

[Zoroark]

The thing for me with porn is. A lot of real porn of real people involves people who are mistreated, are there against their will, or in some cases, are even minors. Obviously that's not all of it, but it can be hard to filter out, and as such, I've always been kind of put off by the industry and most porn in general.

 

Now, I'm an artist. Not a super great one or anything, but decent enough, and a lot of the people in some of the art circles I've been in draw a certain kind of porn—not involving human characters at all. For a while, I interacted with it because "everyone is doing it and I'm gonna have to learn to draw it myself if I want to make any money at art." But I was never fully comfortable with it. I kept telling myself "at least I know these made up characters aren't real people being abused," but that didn't make me feel less put off by it.

 

Eventually, I disengaged from all porn and haven't regretted it. I suppose I should add that, in theory, I do like sex (never had a partner who wanted to do the deed—with me—to find out how I find it outside of fantasy, which kinda did a number on my self esteem for a while, but that's a story for another day). I just don't care for the connotations of a lot of it. Sometimes do read books containing erotica or smut, but rarely even that, and not typically ones where it's the main focus.

 

So yeah. Straight porn, gay porn, whatever... I avoid pretty much all of it under the assumption it may be problematic one way or another. I can always make shit up in my head if need be, lol.

[Archibald]

I don't like straight porn either, at all. I hate the fake moans and high pitched voices and I'm mostly repulsed by female reproductive organs. I like gay porn, but only some of it. Mostly the more "artistic" or "cinematic", that has a story and a sense of emotion and intimacy, not just the act of fucking. I like when there is foreplay and kissing. And a lot of non-penetrative stuff. More like an erotic novel with porn included. On the other hand I liked even some fetish porn, with domination, but again there was some sense of intimacy and trust.

(Side note: I prefer when they use condoms, because I guess I have some form of STD phobia that transferrs to other people as well.)

[M96-80 KENNY]

Not really into porn as many people would like, but if I need to have a chance, I only would watch (and tolerate) lesbian porn, I personally think that women have better (or at least more pleasant) sex than men. Such a weird opinion because I never had sex and I wouldn't like to be involved into sex, for my own personal pleasure, sex should be 100% lesbian, if I'm involved (I don't wanna touch nobody here), then it's not lesbian anymore. My problem despite it's not my need. 🙂

[Ceebs]

9 hours ago, M96-80 KENNY said:

I personally think that women have better (or at least more pleasant) sex than men.

Curious what you mean by that. What are your criteria for better/more pleasant sex?

[M96-80 KENNY]

7 hours ago, Ceebs said:

Curious what you mean by that. What are your criteria for better/more pleasant sex?

Excellent question, of course, I will answer you. I was talking more like about women x women (lesbian sex, just personal tastes), and I think that it's more pleasant because I (aesthetically) prefer women rather than men and also they make sex looks sweet and normally don't harm each other, and because... IDK, because women are eye candy for me. Uh, and also I never liked (or even I always hated) seeing men having sex, men always were disgusting for me, for this reason I only like lesbian sex. Ok, this and also because I always identified with women (with women, not as a woman) in terms of having sex.

[Liara]

Lesbian sex can be really rough, you know... Not sweet at all.

[Ceebs]

On 1/14/2024 at 9:40 AM, M96-80 KENNY said:

Excellent question, of course, I will answer you. I was talking more like about women x women (lesbian sex, just personal tastes), and I think that it's more pleasant because I (aesthetically) prefer women rather than men and also they make sex looks sweet and normally don't harm each other, and because... IDK, because women are eye candy for me. Uh, and also I never liked (or even I always hated) seeing men having sex, men always were disgusting for me, for this reason I only like lesbian sex. Ok, this and also because I always identified with women (with women, not as a woman) in terms of having sex.

Sorry, just getting round to replying here. I have a tendency to either miss notifications or see them and then forget to reply cos I'm doing other stuff. 🙃

 

Anyway. Of course your preferences are fine, everyone has them when it comes to things like pornography and of course sex itself. I will echo Liara though, and point out that lesbian sex isn't necessarily gentle -- whether intentionally because the participants enjoy rough sex, or because someone is being too aggressive and the other person isn't enjoying it. Women can also sexually assault or rape other women too, of course.

 

I do think that there's something to the general tendency of men to be more physically aggressive in any realm of life, of course. That's basically been shown in the differences in statistics regarding the types of crimes men commit compared to women, and in general in how many men seem to express themselves. Biological stuff at play, testosterone, socialisation of AMAB people, all of that. And sensationalistic mainstream porn often plays up to exaggerated fantasies aimed at a male viewing audience. A lot of lesbian sex in porn is sort of... not quite romanticised, but something along those lines. Idealised? That works. You see two women pleasuring each other, and unless one of them is using a strap-on there's no penetration -- which is obviously seen as a positive by anyone repulsed by penetration. (Although, side note: I would say that someone using their hand inside someone else counts as a type of penetration for sure, and the most physically painful sex in a non-fun way that I've ever experienced was my ex-girlfriend using her hand on me. It was very uncomfortable and several times afterwards I bled. It was consensual in that I definitely initially wanted to be having sex, but it wasn't pleasant and I didn't know how to say 'stop' or 'no' or whatever at the time so I just let things... finish.)

 

I guess a lot of what I'd say here, I already said in a reply to you the other day in a different thread with a similar topic, so I won't repeat myself haha. And to reiterate, of course you are very much allowed to have your preferences when it comes to viewing porn, fantasising, etc. But like any porn, it's important to remember that lesbian porn doesn't necessarily reflect all real sex between women.

[Ceebs]

Also if one is looking for it, there's plenty of porn out there that depicts gentle and more sensual and loving heterosexual sex. Not saying you have to watch it if straight porn isn't your thing obviously, but it exists.