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i would enjoy being in a romantic relationship but i'm not attracted to any specific person


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candyme

it seems that i quite like the thought and idea of being in a romantic (or even sexual maybe idk) relationship with someone but it's usually just this faceless no name person in my head. i can't seem to put a real person there. i've had these crushes on people before but it's me liking the idea of dating them. it could honestly work for any decent looking person. if i like the idea of dating a person, does that mean i'm romantically attracted to them? or is it just me liking the idea of love? i was also wondering if there is any term for this kind of orientation or am i just confused?

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Lilika

I also imagine general romantic activities with [blank] person.

 

Once in a while I meet a nice person I think I'd get along with, and if there's mutual interest they take the spot of [blank] person. If we turn out not to be compatible it reverts to [blank] person.

 

I consider myself to be somewhere on the romantic spectrum.

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steel_quill

@candyme Sounds like romantic fantasies? I'm also like this, especially the way that @Lilika described.

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Blue eyes white dragon

Have you looked into cupioromantic

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Deltalorian

Who gave you permission to read my thoughts? Seriously though, this is scarily accurate to my experience. I want to actually try dating to see if it's actually for me, but I'd feel guilty for essentially using someone as a test relationship to see if I could make it work. That's an extra struggle I have that may not be unique to me.

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EmeraldIce

I think a lot of people like the idea of romance without being attracted to anyone in particular. It's not uncommon at all. With books and media, we get drawn to the wonders of romance and learn to see the world through the characters' eyes, even if it's not a transferable experience in the real world. This isn't unique to any sexuality.

 

3 hours ago, candyme said:

if i like the idea of dating a person, does that mean i'm romantically attracted to them? or is it just me liking the idea of love? i was also wondering if there is any term for this kind of orientation or am i just confused?

I think whether you're truly attracted to them depends a lot on how well you know and interact with them. If you only know them on the surface, you're probably contemplating the idea of romance with them and idealizing the situation. People of all sexual and romantic orientations do this. If, on the other hand, you actually talk to them quite a lot and you want to get to know them more, and every time you talk to them you get all excited and can't get enough, then you're probably attracted to them. A lot of people don't experience attraction until they've gotten to know the person more, and that's completely okay. I think that's demiromantic?

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Osiyo_Waya
58 minutes ago, Blue eyes white dragon said:

Have you looked into cupioromantic

Or possibly aegoromantic.

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EmeraldIce
3 minutes ago, Deltalorian said:

I want to actually try dating to see if it's actually for me, but I'd feel guilty for essentially using someone as a test relationship to see if I could make it work. That's an extra struggle I have that may not be unique to me.

Dating is ALL about seeing if things could work. No one starts out their relationship knowing if things would work out. And it's the process and leads to discovery. There's absolutely nothing to be guilty about. It's not like you're going into it knowing that it's not going to work and lying about it.

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Marlow1
7 hours ago, candyme said:

it seems that i quite like the thought and idea of being in a romantic (or even sexual maybe idk) relationship with someone but it's usually just this faceless no name person in my head. i can't seem to put a real person there. i've had these crushes on people before but it's me liking the idea of dating them. it could honestly work for any decent looking person. if i like the idea of dating a person, does that mean i'm romantically attracted to them? or is it just me liking the idea of love? i was also wondering if there is any term for this kind of orientation or am i just confused?

This person in your head that you say is faceless are they really faceless? I ask because there is a condition that can be related to this Prosopagnosia - Wikipedia I know about this because I have Aphantasia and this limits my ability to become attracted to people enormously. If you want to know more, please ask !

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