Calliers Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 Just now, Lord Jade Cross said: Or worse yet, have a complaint filed even though you do nothing. Ive had my share of situations like this and even if its done in front of others, nobody bats an eye because "all men like it" Actually statistically suicide is higher in males than it is in women because of this reason, men are supposed to and are pressured to by society to deal with their problems by themselves, internalize them and not seek help, any man who shows pain is weak, so most men just take what seems like the easy way out and off themselves. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted May 14, 2022 Author Share Posted May 14, 2022 I've worked with mostly women when abroad and they all loved me because I was literally one of 3 guys working there, I was young and also from another country, so. But they didn't know about my orientation, I don't discuss is with people casually. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 1 hour ago, Snao Cone said: That I'm nice and wise and I have it together. Also that I'm a cishet woman. That I'm a cishet man (or, sometimes, that I'm gay), and a conservative. Nope (nope) and nope. Not sure what else, since I don't talk to people much and get close to people even less. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lilibulero Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 Usually I'm mistaken for a snooty person because I spend a lot of time on my own. I'm also mistaken for a weak willed/ physically weak person, which I'm neither. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Libellule Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 People often seem to think I'm shy, which I don't think I am really. I tend to be reserved and know when to be quiet and let other people speak, but I have no problem approaching people in general. It seems to come across as shyness sometimes, though. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cranston Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 4 hours ago, bare_trees said: People have told me that they wish they had my self-confidence. They are assuming I have self-confidence--I don't have much of that. Same, I think it's because I'm a woman with a buzzcut 4 hours ago, SorryNotSorry said: 4. That my life experiences didn't happen, or that I somehow totally misconstrued them. Ehh, what??? I hate it when people do this The other one is that a person once told me their first impression of me was that I was "fancy". Again, I have a buzzcut, and I was wearing hiking shoes when I met them, so not sure how that happened 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StarryNightAllAlone Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 Sometimes people describe me as "confident" or "resilent". I only appear confident because I'm opinionated, and I like to share what I think when it's appropriate. In terms of being resilient, I'm not. I may have gone through things, but not anything that most people haven't gone through and I was miserable the whole time. I learned to not take my feelings out on anybody else and keep my thoughts to myself, but that's the least I can do. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Yuliyasa Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 Interesting topic here....as it appears sometimes ppl don't realize what an effect their misconceptions can have on the people they have these assumptions about; however, everything we say or even think of others always finds its way back to us (as that saying goes, " Do not judge, or you shall be judged to the same extent.") Regardless of how mild the assumptions are in my opinion indeed they all come back and sometimes even more than in 3 fold. Anyways, I guess I have to share some of mine here: believe one of my worst exes spread a rum-our about me that I'd like to have relationship with 2 guys instead of just one. Yet the absurdity of that is laughable at and doesn't really bother me at all because I believe people who actually do want that and are honest about it with the people they date don't deserve to be judged for their dreams. However, I say the absurdity of that is that I've been a very monogamous person my whole life and in fact I bet some have stereo typed me into being the marrying girl (and quiet frankly I don't which rumor is worse lol). So yeah, people with small minds....what can you do? All I can say is I pray that they don't get the same rumors x 3 spread about them by the same kind of small minded people like themselves . And hey, I am judging people who just like to gossip here so here....I guess I'll be judged for the same thing too!!!! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 ...that I'm a lot younger than I really am and (people don't tell me this, but show it, constantly, by their actions, words, etc., towards or about me) am naive, ignorant, etc. I'm not sure whether or not any of that might, sometimes, be connected to colorism, racism, etc., since I've been told by others/presumed to be a POC. It's not always easy to pinpoint, exactly, why others decide to speak or look down on me, just based on their initial impression, without really speaking to me or getting to know me, having no idea what I've been through. I just not into bragging or talking about myself all the time, about things I know or have been through, to everyone. I don't feel a need to, constantly, focus on or bring up all traumatic events because it's not really what I prefer focusing on in my life, nowadays. I like trying to move past all of that and have worked hard, improving my mental health over several years, trying to focus on things I can change, do, etc. Doing that, trying to focus more on being positive, etc. has helped me, my mood, etc. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted May 14, 2022 Author Share Posted May 14, 2022 39 minutes ago, yellow beet said: 4 hours ago, SorryNotSorry said: 4. That my life experiences didn't happen, or that I somehow totally misconstrued them. Ehh, what??? I hate it when people do this Me too. Spoiler Especially in such subjects as abuse, some people don't believe that men can be victims of abuse as well, I've been abused in the past and I know how it is. Whether people believe it or not is not my problem, but telling someone they're faking their problems is absolutely disgusting. I usually don't judge people and I hate when others do it, especially when they know nothing about a person they're judging. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 5 hours ago, Calliers said: Actually statistically suicide is higher in males than it is in women because of this reason, men are supposed to and are pressured to by society to deal with their problems by themselves, internalize them and not seek help, any man who shows pain is weak, so most men just take what seems like the easy way out and off themselves. Show emotions and youre weak, dont show emotions and youre "cold and distant" 🙄 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted May 14, 2022 Author Share Posted May 14, 2022 18 minutes ago, Lord Jade Cross said: Show emotions and youre weak, dont show emotions and youre "cold and distant" 🙄 That's it, seems that people can never be satisfied with how others act 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GingerRose Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 People think I'm shy and introverted, when really I'm just taking extra time to process what I hear before I speak up. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Calliers Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 People also assume I can't defend myself.... try me.... 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted May 15, 2022 Author Share Posted May 15, 2022 Assuming that I'm not very bright because I'm apparently good-looking. This seriously bugs me. I have more knowledge than an average person, I love to learn things, I have a diploma in one of the difficult branches of science, I know physics, biology and chemistry, I'm good at maths, and I have a bit of medical knowledge (first aid) so that can save someone's life. And I always want to know more. Side note, I don't even think of myself as good-looking, such thoughts never cross my mind because to myself it's not the criteria of estimating someone's value as a person. Sure I find many guys aesthetically attractive, but overall, looks mean little to me. What is inside a person matters much more. And if I really like someone, I will find them beautiful regardless of how they look like. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Acing It Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 (edited) With me it's mainly linked to stereotyping. Lately though, I found out my mother describes me to people she knows as a loner, which at the same time both makes me feel annoyed (does she have a right to say things like that about me to people I know too?) and sad. I'm not a loner by a long stretch. I only have fewer friends than they deem to be the norm. With me it's the opposite to @alsjeblieft(why is that so difficult to type?? 😄) in that people are 'amazed' at all the things I can do (unjustified I feel - read on) . I have a go at everything, including things people think I 'shouldn't do' from carpentry to tiling etc, also including sewing, baking etc... I'm a bit of an all rounder and I want to know things too. It makes people uncomfortable and I like it! 😁 People should be challenged in having a go, instead of always expecting other people to 'do things for them' because it doesn't fit in with society's views. and giving up before they try because of stereotyping. Most people would be amazed at what they can achieve if they put their mind to it (if they want to). Edited May 15, 2022 by Acing It 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted May 15, 2022 Author Share Posted May 15, 2022 1 minute ago, Acing It said: (why is that so difficult to type?? 😄). Probably because my username is a Dutch word And I like some challenge as well. I always need to try something myself before forming an opinion the only thing that restricts me from doing or trying some things is my disability, that is challenge in itself 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Acing It Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 7 hours ago, alsjeblieft said: Probably because my username is a Dutch word Too many awkward to type letters next to one another 😄 7 hours ago, alsjeblieft said: And I like some challenge as well. I always need to try something myself before forming an opinion the only thing that restricts me from doing or trying some things is my disability, that is challenge in itself That's a different thing of course, having a disability. I think it's good to challenge yourself, though. I know people who are intelligent enough but they don't ever do anything themselves. When they then have to, they're completely helpless. I never want to be in that position. The downside to this is, and at the same time another misconception about me, that people think for instance, that I'm good with IT and computers. So whenever someone needs help with something they come to me lol. I find computers really annoying to work on. There's always something that doesn't work. Persisting in finding solutions means I learn and I don't have to rely on other people as much - and I can solve it next time. But... good with computers I'm not! 😊 (not particularly anyway). I get emails from Microsoft about changes all the time on my business account and I delete all of them before reading them because I don't have a clue what they're on about 😆 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted May 15, 2022 Author Share Posted May 15, 2022 57 minutes ago, Acing It said: Too many awkward to type letters next to one another 😄 Typical for this language but pronunciation is even more fun 57 minutes ago, Acing It said: That's a different thing of course, having a disability. I think it's good to challenge yourself, though. I know people who are intelligent enough but they don't ever do anything themselves. When they then have to, they're completely helpless. I never want to be in that position. Me neither I have a hand paresis so i can't really do things that involve precise movements of a hand, but I can do necessary things all by myself and I have really high levels of independence. I can't imagine just sitting there and being dependent on others, it was enough when I was in the hospital 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ella of Frell Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 I've always been kind of terrible at understanding and expressing emotions. People who know me well understand this and just think that I lack empathy (I'm not actually sure if that's true or not). New people that I've met, however, seem appalled when I explain that. They think it's horrible that someone might think I lack empathy and defend me like it's some sort of insult. But, it honestly might be true (though my therapist says I probably just don't know how to show empathy) and has never bothered me. I don't see why everyone assumes that it's automatically a bad thing and couldn't possibly be true. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ella of Frell Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 People also always assume that I'm in a loving/romantic/sexual relationship with my husband. Our marriage is about being a family and making taxes easier. He has a girlfriend. I don't even know what love is. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted May 16, 2022 Author Share Posted May 16, 2022 On 5/14/2022 at 9:33 PM, LeChat said: that I'm a lot younger than I really am This as well. Sometimes I'm still being mistaken for a teenager. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Calliers Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 Just now, alsjeblieft said: This as well. Sometimes I'm still being mistaken for a teenager. Me too! 😮 Actually, people think me to be in my 20s or even younger if I shave, which is why I always keep my beard, sometimes if I don't have my beard I can't even buy smokes! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 @alsjeblieft Ah! Yeah; it's very annoying and frustrating to be mistreated, spoken down to, disrespected, etc., due to others assuming I'm a teen, when I'm minding my own business and/or being polite, respectful, etc. towards others. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted May 16, 2022 Author Share Posted May 16, 2022 9 minutes ago, Calliers said: Me too! 😮 Actually, people think me to be in my 20s or even younger if I shave, which is why I always keep my beard, sometimes if I don't have my beard I can't even buy smokes! Yeah these problems with buying this (in)famous beer 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted May 16, 2022 Author Share Posted May 16, 2022 2 minutes ago, LeChat said: @alsjeblieft Ah! Yeah; it's very annoying and frustrating to be mistreated, spoken down to, disrespected, etc., due to others assuming I'm a teen, when I'm minding my own business and/or being polite, respectful, etc. towards others. That too, and patronising. Like, you know what you know, no need to treat you like that, unless you ask something you don't know. I feel that. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Boondocks Paradox Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 10 minutes ago, alsjeblieft said: This as well. Sometimes I'm still being mistaken for a teenager. Well not exactly a teenager, but someone in early 20s to mid 20s when actually already on late 20s, and I'm proud of it 😂 I almost got blocked by the security guard upon entering a casino for he thought I'm a minor when in fact I was 27 by that time. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Calliers Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 Guys, I think we're going to be happy we look younger when we are a bit older, but for now, it is certainly not appreciated! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 9 minutes ago, alsjeblieft said: That too, and patronising. Like, you know what you know, no need to treat you like that, unless you ask something you don't know. I feel that. Yep! I'm tired of that, too. I wish more people paused before making negative assumptions and being patronizing, to realize that they might be making incorrect, negative assumptions and cared to clarify or ask me about my feelings, thoughts, etc., instead of, automatically, assuming I'm ignorant or don't know anything. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 24 minutes ago, Calliers said: Guys, I think we're going to be happy we look younger when we are a bit older, but for now, it is certainly not appreciated! ...a lot older and still waiting...I've wondered whether it might have to do with how some adult actors play teen characters in movies and t.v. shows, that people end up thinking that's what teens look like. Well, the only good thing I feel about it is, perhaps, it might help me be left alone and not be sexually harassed by other adults, if they think I'm underage; or not having adults talk to me about adult issues, like their troubled relationships. I'd really appreciate being treated with the same respect I've seen other adults receive, automatically, from others, though. It's hard and tiring, feeling as though I have to work a lot harder than others, often, just to prove to others I'm competent, knowledgeable, etc., in order to, finally, receive, a bit, of respect. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.