Misconceptions you hear about yourself

[J. van Deijck]

I'm curious if there are other people here who sometimes seem to be misunderstood by others. If you don't mind, please share the misconceptions you've heard about yourself from others. It can be anything, not just ace-related.

[oldgeeza]

In my previous job, I got along really well with the ladies in the canteen, all are young enough to be my daughter, but, evidently, I was having an affair with each and every one of them, I left the job a little while ago, I'm still in touch with the ladies, we sometimes go out for a coffee and a chat, sometimes as a group, sometimes just one of them and myself, I love them and love seeing them, but even if I could, I wouldn't jeapordise my friendship with any of them

[Guest]

A common thing people have said about me is that I’m shy, although really I’m a private person that doesn’t want to get involved with other people most of the time so socially I don’t say much and prefer to be by myself.

[Calliers]

Because I'm really friendly and soft mannered a lot of people have made the mistake of thinking me a pushover, but when they try something they are usually taken aback by how quickly I can shift gears if the situation arises.

 

I sometimes describe myself as soft and mushy on the outside with a very hard core.

[Boondocks Paradox]

I have a resting sad face, so some assume that I'm always sad or that I'm a serious person. Well, until you get to know me more 🙃

 

Lately I've been giving dirty jokes, and I feel my friends think I'm that dirty. They don't know that I'm an ace and deep inside my own jokes makes me feel... empty.

[Calliers]

2 minutes ago, Boondocks Paradox said:

I have a resting sad face, so some assume that I'm always sad or that I'm a serious person. Well, until you get to know me more 🙃

 

Lately I've been giving dirty jokes, and I feel my friends think I'm that dirty. They don't know that I'm an ace and deep inside my own jokes makes me feel... empty.

Dude.... that is deep.

 

Also, my land lord has a face exactly like Droopy, so all his friends call him Droop lol.

[J. van Deijck]

58 minutes ago, Guybrush Threepwood said:

A common thing people have said about me is that I’m shy

I've heard that about myself, too. But  the people who said it have quickly changed their minds when they saw me hanging out with my friends. We are all really loud and expressive  and when we take part in group discussions, I'm always the rebel one.

 

40 minutes ago, Boondocks Paradox said:

Lately I've been giving dirty jokes, and I feel my friends think I'm that dirty.

Yeah I don't mind sex jokes, too, as long as they're general and don't hit my personal space. Some people wouldn't believe I'm an ace  but, when I was working abroad and there were mostly women there, they've had really dirty jokes and they were playfully making fun of me for blushing every time

 

 

[Gloomy]

I’m quiet and keep to myself, so people tend to assume I’m calm, laid back, or timid. I often feel emotions quite strongly, I’m just good at hiding them from people. I’m also stronger and tougher than I look.

[Boondocks Paradox]

3 minutes ago, Calliers said:

Also, my land lord has a face exactly like Droopy, so all his friends call him Droop lol.

But Droopy is awesome! I could relate to him, but I don't have that monotonous bored voice.

 

Which by the way, people assume that I'm a quiet person. Which is true, until I start talking; I have a loud voice in real life. 😅

[J. van Deijck]

There's another one about me. Some people know I'm into guys, but not many know that I'm also greyromantic and romantic attraction is a rare occurrence for me. I do experience platonic attraction quite a lot, though, as well as aesthetic attraction (both to men), so people sometimes mistake me as polyamorous because I like that many guys. Not to mention people who don't understand asexuality thinking I wish to sleeping all the guys I find attractive, but I think it's common for other aces, too. But my love has different forms. I can be friends with just anyone, women too, and I can find women pretty,but then, there's no attraction. That's for a side note.

Another misconception is that people think I'm attracted to all the guys on Earth, lol. I'm not. There must be something special about him to make me attracted to him, in various forms.

And when I've accidentally outed myself to my friends by talking about one man I found attractive, that has escalated. Took them long time to understand, but at least they were accepting.

[Calliers]

5 minutes ago, Boondocks Paradox said:

But Droopy is awesome! I could relate to him, but I don't have that monotonous bored voice.

 

Which by the way, people assume that I'm a quiet person. Which is true, until I start talking; I have a loud voice in real life. 😅

Yeah, I am pretty loud myself, but I have the most friendly face you could ever see, which is why people always ask me for directions or smokes or what have you, but it is true, I am actually a pretty friendly guy, add to that my affect matches my insides almost perfectly (I wear my emotions on my sleeve for real ) and you've got the perfect storm!

[Zhorin]

My coworkers seem to think that I’m some kind of hitman because I don’t say much and I’m good at “sneaking” up on people. I have a quiet step. 
 

I honestly find it amusing and play along. Hopefully they know I’m joking. 

[Snao Cone]

That I'm nice and wise and I have it together. Also that I'm a cishet woman.

[Zagadka]

That I am unfriendly, or sometimes not engaged with people.

 

The truth is that it is largely anxiety, depression, and the constant thoughts that I am simply have nothing to offer, am annoying everyone, and they hate me. Plus my resting face just looks somewhat harsh.

[JimmyJazz]

A few people told me after they got to know me that they were surprised to learn I was a friendly and funny person. I think I have a resting bitch face but it's probably more that I have not great eyesight and sport a semi-permanent squint because of it. 

[Calliers]

5 minutes ago, Zhorin said:

My coworkers seem to think that I’m some kind of hitman because I don’t say much and I’m good at “sneaking” up on people. I have a quiet step. 
 

I honestly find it amusing and play along. Hopefully they know I’m joking. 

So you're basically like Sojiro the Tenken from Samurai X and you know how to do Shukuchi? Wow. I am in awe of your greatness.

 

*bows down in reverence*

[J. van Deijck]

19 minutes ago, Zhorin said:

My coworkers seem to think that I’m some kind of hitman because I don’t say much and I’m good at “sneaking” up on people. I have a quiet step. 

Ha, that too.

[J. van Deijck]

I fall for people easily.

 

You couldn't be further from the truth.

[Calliers]

Most people think I'm a virgin, couldn't be further from the truth.

[bare_trees]

People have told me that they wish they had my self-confidence. They are assuming I have self-confidence--I don't have much of that.

 

Those who don't know me well often describe me as "laid-back." Anyone who knows me beyond superficial stuff knows I'm a ball of anxiety.

 

A weird one: almost every time I admit to liking a country song or country singer, someone says, "You don't seem like the kind of person who would like country music." Sometimes I ask why not, or what sort of person likes country music, and they never have an answer for that.

[J. van Deijck]

8 minutes ago, bare_trees said:

People have told me that they wish they had my self-confidence. They are assuming I have self-confidence--I don't have much of that.

 

Those who don't know me well often describe me as "laid-back." Anyone who knows me beyond superficial stuff knows I'm a ball of anxiety.

That I hear about myself, too. And even though I seem confident and positive most of the time (which is somewhat true), I do have my moments as well. Moments of self-doubt and feeling inadequate, like not fitting in. Anxiety doesn't help much with that

 

I guess I'm a walking contradiction. Because all of this is true to some extent.

 

But one thing people assume correctly is that I'm into dark and heavy music

[gwennol]

multiple people have called me cool? one said i was the coolest person they knew?? this absolutely shocks me--but then again, people having any conceptions of me, mis- or not, shocks me, so

[J. van Deijck]

5 minutes ago, gwennol said:

one said i was the coolest person they knew??

I've heard that from multiple people in my life and I was like "nah bro, I'm just myself, you either love or hate me"

[Calliers]

2 minutes ago, alsjeblieft said:

I've heard that from multiple people in my life and I was like "nah bro, I'm just myself, you either love or hate me"

I think you're cool @alsjeblieft. 

[J. van Deijck]

Just now, Calliers said:

I think you're cool @alsjeblieft. 

Nah, just a Belgian

[SorryNotSorry]

Oh boy, I can really have a ball with this topic. Shouldn't it have been titled "debunking what you hear about yourself"?

 

1. I'm not an angry or bitter person. It's just that when I'm presented with problems, not everyone agrees with my solutions. 

2. I don't look anything like a stereotypical bespectacled skinny nerd. Rather, I look like the guy who shows up to repossess your car.

3. I don't feel schadenfreude or gluckschmerz. That's the job of people who troll me or try to bait me.

4. That my life experiences didn't happen, or that I somehow totally misconstrued them. Ehh, what???

5. That I have no life outside of a few hobbies. See #1 above and don't be such a jerk.

[rebis]

I have had kind of an odd experience in I guess the last decade or so, that's at odds with the comparatively more common experience of those who have "resting bitch face" ... people often comment on how I seem to smile a lot, and will wonder how I can possibly be so happy. Well, one, I've struggled with depression pretty much my entire existence, so the "so happy" part is funny, but two -- well, apparently, I just have "resting happy face". I wouldn't know how else to explain it, because I was honestly initially baffled when people talked about me smiling a lot. 

 

Apparently, there is me smiling because I am amused or happy and expressing that emotion, then there's a base expression I would probably best describe as "I am awake and paying attention to you" that is more or less reflexive on my part when I am awake and paying attention -- and that apparently looks like I'm smiling, to most people. I mean, I'm good with it, because the gist is that people think I'm really friendly and cheery -- I'm not really those things internally, like universally and reflexively or anything,  but not a bad misconception as far as it goes, right? 

 

But yeah, neutral smiley face. Does not mean I am actually enjoying what's going on. It's just my face.

[Lord Jade Cross]

2 hours ago, oldgeeza said:

In my previous job, I got along really well with the ladies in the canteen, all are young enough to be my daughter, but, evidently, I was having an affair with each and every one of them, I left the job a little while ago, I'm still in touch with the ladies, we sometimes go out for a coffee and a chat, sometimes as a group, sometimes just one of them and myself, I love them and love seeing them, but even if I could, I wouldn't jeapordise my friendship with any of them

Yea....Im a bit younger but Im super, super careful about working near anyone of the opposite gender, especially if they are younger (late teens, early 20's) than I am, as Ive seen how it takes all but two seconds for the thought of "predator" to be thrown out there the second you do something that can be remotely misconstrued as an "advance". Many times, I will either prefer to be assigned to a group of guys or, should that not be possible, doing the job alone.

[Calliers]

4 minutes ago, Lord Jade Cross said:

Yea....Im a bit younger but Im super, super careful about working near anyone of the opposite gender, especially if they are younger (late teens, early 20's) than I am, as Ive seen how it takes all but two seconds for the thought of "predator" to be thrown out there the second you do something that can be remotely misconstrued as an "advance". Many times, I will either prefer to be assigned to a group of guys or, should that not he possible, doing the job alone.

I once when I was very young (say 21) and working at a store (Futureshop, they were owned by Best Buy or Best Buy bought them out recently, don't know which) in the video games section had my rear end slapped by a female co-worker, and she didn't just like smack it lightly, she actually grabbed it and held on for quite a while, I was quite shocked by this, but as a man I didn't report it to my superiors because I didn't want to be made fun of and the two male co-workers who were near me at the time were congratulating me afterwards (coz she was quite pretty and all) but I felt violated by her. I think men who get abused suffer in silence more often than women who do because they don't want to report what has happened to them for fear of being laughed out the door.

[Lord Jade Cross]

1 minute ago, Calliers said:

I once when I was very young (say 21) and working at a store (Futureshop, they were owned by Best Buy or Best Buy bought them out recently, don't know which) in the video games section had my rear end slapped by a female co-worker, and she didn't just like smack it lightly, she actually grabbed it and held on for quite a while, I was quite shocked by this, but as a man I didn't report it to my superiors because I didn't want to be made fun of and the two male co-workers who were near me at the time were congratulating me afterwards (coz she was quite pretty and all) but I felt violated by her. I think men who get abused suffer in silence more often than women who do because they don't want to report what has happened to them for fear of being laughed out the door.

Or worse yet, have a complaint filed even though you do nothing. Ive had my share of situations like this and even if its done in front of others, nobody bats an eye because "all men like it"