Why does being called a name make me happy?

[TheSmolFoxWeeb]

I was talking to my dad about my chosen name. He told me that if being called by it is actually important, to tell him why. So I told him that it makes me happy to be called my chosen name. He told me to think about why it makes me happy, and come back to him with an answer later.

 

Please help me I have no idea how I'm supposed to respond to this

[Ceebs]

Maybe just tell him that it feels more 'you', like it fits your character better? It's not for reasons related to gender identity, but I've gone by my middle name for decades now and that's honestly my reason -- it simply feels more like it suits who I am. However, if your dad gets nitpicky and asks what exactly it means that you think your chosen name is more 'you'... yeah I dunno haha. 😅

[BigBassFox]

You can say you like the sound of it more than your old name in general and that you like the meaning behind it(if there is a meaning.) Or saying it fits your vibe more. Or an important friend gave it to you.

[StarryNightAllAlone]

Tell him your chosen name is a reflection of your innermost self and who you are inside. Tell him the name you chose is meaningful because it is an extension and expression of your identity. Your chosen name has meaning to you precisely because it was chosen for you by you, not someone else. Tell him that if he respects you for who you truly are, not who he wants you to be or who you used to be, he will call you by your preferred name.

[TestingInProd]

I just want to first acknowledge that this may not be constructive or at all useful to you. I only have my own relationship with my parents to draw from and it is very likely very different from yours. That said...

 

This would be a no-win (and likely bad-faith) conversation if it took place between myself and my Dad. I like the advice from everybody else about asserting your identity but, if this were my Dad, I would need to stop well short of any adversarial answers because there be dragons. I have a much, much longer rope now that I don't live in the same house but I'm still pretty careful when I visit.

 

I don't think you need any justification for using your chosen name. Pressed for why I prefer my name I would be unable to come up with any answer at all. The fact that you prefer the name you prefer is and should be enough.

 

Likewise you don't need any justification for this being important to you. It is important to you.

 

Both of those said, I don't think it's a bad thing to self-reflect on why anything is important to you so if it's a good-faith question then whatever answer is right! Even not knowing is perfectly valid in my opinion.

 

Again, your situation may be and likely is very different from any I've been in so if this sounds unhelpful than it definitely is.

[SilenceRadio]

Ask your father why he finds his own name important? If he likes a certain food/drink, ask him why he likes it. If he can't come up with an answer, maybe he'll understand how there are some things you just can't explain. Sometimes, preferences are beyond comprehension.

 

I don't know why I like my chosen name, I just do. I just like how it sounds, how I recognize myself in it. How it feels like it describes a happier and more autonomous person rather than someone who mindlessly go with the flow...

[Lysandre, the Star-Crossed]

I have a name, it is my chosen name. I had a different name before, it was my birth name. I have been the same person under either, to an extent. The old name has been used by a great many people who used to be in my life to hurt me or as part of painful memories. Like any number of other things may, so too does my old name hold traumatizing memories and feelings. Why wouldn't I cast it aside if hearing it was painful? 

[AceActor]

I don't know if this is still relevant to you, I know the post is a few days old, but I haven't seen anybody else say it quite how I might think about it so, another alternative explanation:

Someone using your chosen name is an acknowledgement of them accepting that that is who you are. A name is a huge part of your identity, and someone using the name you've chosen for yourself is massively affirming to your identity. I suppose when I hear people use my chosen name it make me happy because it makes me feel really seen for who I am and not who I am widely perceived to be.

Might not be the same for you, but I thought I'd share in case it helps

[Luftschlosseule]

It's an acknowledgment of the path you're on instead of the path everyone just assumed you'd be on.
How did it go?