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A question for sexuals who think sex is gross


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TruBluMOM

It seems a common theme is for people to think sex for other people (e.g., one’s parents) is gross.  Why is that?  I’m asexual but could care less about someone else having sex.  I can see where a sex adverse asexual who personally finds sex to be gross might also find it gross for others, but for a sexual who enjoys sex for themselves, why would it be gross for someone to also enjoy sex?

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Um, well I don't think sex is gross... quite the contrary... but I think it's pretty common to not want to think about your mum and dad doing the deed. Same goes for other relatives; your little brother, your gran, your daughter, whatever. I assume human psychology is such that many of us are just naturally a bit grossed out by that because... well, it would be bad if we weren't, cos incest. Beyond that I don't know how else to explain it. Sex is just a very personal thing and lots of people don't want to dwell on that aspect of their parents' relationship(s). It's just TMI.

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J. van Deijck

My mum is like that, and somehow she gave birth to two kids, so it speaks for itself that at some point she must have had sex with my dad. But anytime sex is mentioned, she gets grumpy and wirthdraws. I don't know either, maybe she's asexual as well but doesn't realise it, or maybe there was some kind of trauma in her sexual life with my dad. Sometimes sexual people find sex gross after any kind of trauma related to it, that's how much I know. My mum seems to think everything that relates to sex is dirty, including other people who have sex :ph34r:

I know the question is primarily directed to sexual, I'm an ace, but I thought I'd share it because who knows, maybe it's going to help in any way.

 

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Well, being sexual would not mean being turned on by everyone and everything. Just like there will be certain thoughts/feelings/sensations/images that a given person finds arousing, there will also be things that are a turn off.

 

So, while some might literally say people they find gross should not have sex, I think most people are fine with others doing whatever they do in private; you just don't necessarily want to think about it. 

 

I mean, honestly, it's not just parents-- I am not interested in imagining anyone I know getting busy. I think...  most people would  only be interested in thinking of someone in a sexual context if they were attracted to them. Why would you want to otherwise?

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Lysandre, the Star-Crossed

Sex, the act itself, is rather gross and comical to me. It involves a plethora of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and feelings that are pretty bizarre on their own. That being said I really enjoy it, so that's not an issue.

 

 

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Lysandre, the Star-Crossed
6 hours ago, Lady Telecaster said:

Um, well I don't think sex is gross... quite the contrary... but I think it's pretty common to not want to think about your mum and dad doing the deed. Same goes for other relatives; your little brother, your gran, your daughter, whatever. I assume human psychology is such that many of us are just naturally a bit grossed out by that because... well, it would be bad if we weren't, cos incest. Beyond that I don't know how else to explain it. Sex is just a very personal thing and lots of people don't want to dwell on that aspect of their parents' relationship(s). It's just TMI.

Something something Sigmund Freud something something Oedipus something

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In most of the cases you describe, I don't think people genuinely think the act itself is gross, they just get an "ick" feeling from actively thinking about it. There's a difference.

 

An emotional reaction is not inherently the same as intellectually moralizing something.

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Lysandre, the Star-Crossed
9 minutes ago, Morays said:

An emotional reaction is not inherently the same as intellectually moralizing something.

Just a differential interpretation here, but I think emotional reactions are all that morality is.  

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2 hours ago, Morays said:

In most of the cases you describe, I don't think people genuinely think the act itself is gross, they just get an "ick" feeling from actively thinking about it. There's a difference.

Yeah I'm not thinking, 'Ewww sex is gross and my parents are disgusting because they did it'; it's just... I mean honestly, does anyone feel pleasant feelings thinking about their mum screaming 'Harder! Harder! Oh yeah, right there!' or their dad moaning in pleasure as he orgasms...? I sure don't. 😂 It's just intimate information that's a bit too much.

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Chef Remy

Different people prefer different things and have different likes and dislikes.

Some people do not like the taste of beer, or like shell fish. Other people do like beet and shell fish.

As long as it is consensual, and safe and sane and done between consent adults and people of a legal age. I do not have problem.

 

For me personally, sex is not something I enjoyable. Or something I feel the need to have. Or even desire.

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@Chef Remy Your comment seems... not very specific to the topic of this thread? The discussion is about people being grossed out by the thought of their parents having sex. Edit: oh wait sorry, no, the OP mentioned others in general.

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Sexuality is what makes you override how gross and silly sexual acts are

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3 hours ago, brbdogsonfire said:

Asexuality is what makes you think sexual acts are silly and gross.

I’m not sure that’s the only thing that does…  plenty of sexual acts, if you just think about them separately from doing them with someone you enjoy doing them with, could fall under “silly” and/or “gross” (along with a fair number of other bodily things).

 

That’s not a judgment.  It’s more like… when you/your partner do [x] in a sexual setting other pleasant aspects of the situation overpower the silly/gross factor for you.  Conversely, if your doctor does [x] to you as part of an exam, you don’t have those other aspects to offset the unpleasant ones.

 

Or eating.  Enjoying a lovely [dessert you really like] is different than thinking objectively about how you stick the food in your mouth and chew, and your saliva starts to digest it, and it gets all mushy.

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Please try to remain civil and avoid elitism 

 

Iff, 

Moderator, sexual partners, friends, and allies 

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Was there elitism here? Honestly didn't interpret the comments that way, I just thought they were two different perspectives.

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26 minutes ago, Lady Telecaster said:

Was there elitism here? Honestly didn't interpret the comments that way, I just thought they were two different perspectives.

I rather it doesn't so my message is more to be careful not to do so

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1 hour ago, iff said:

I rather it doesn't so my message is more to be careful not to do so

If that was related to my post, I’m sorry it came across that way, and I’m also not ace…

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brbdogsonfire
14 hours ago, ryn2 said:

If that was related to my post, I’m sorry it came across that way, and I’m also not ace…

I don't see hows yours could have and if someone thinks yours was they probably dont read to well.

 

I am pretty sure it's in reference to my post and the person I responded to as both of them could have been seen in an elitist way it guess? I could see how someone would take mine as elitism but I also think neither me or the person I responded to intended it that way and were just pointing out 2 perspectives. I think the mod was just taking steps to make sure there was not an escalation.

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On 5/8/2022 at 8:33 PM, TruBluMOM said:

It seems a common theme is for people to think sex for other people (e.g., one’s parents) is gross.  Why is that?  I’m asexual but could care less about someone else having sex.  I can see where a sex adverse asexual who personally finds sex to be gross might also find it gross for others, but for a sexual who enjoys sex for themselves, why would it be gross for someone to also enjoy sex?

Lets see if I can explain this in a way you can understand. No one wants to think about mom and dad having sex. That would imply incest. If that is something you personally are getting off to its incest. People do not want to think about people they have no attraction having sex. Even if they know those people are having sex. Its not a pleasurable thought. We all know teens get horny and we have teen pregnancy, it doesnt mean we want to watch two 14 year olds doing it becuase thats just grosse to think about if you are not a pedophile. Do you see the problem there? 

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The French Unicorn

I fail to see how thinking about our parents having sex with each other imply incest ? I mean in this scenario they hace sex sith each other, not with their children, so... Hox is that incest? I genuinely don't get it.

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