!zzy Posted November 2, 2007 Share Posted November 2, 2007 Sex isn't a necessity for me, but I'm worried that it will be if things progress. My primary way of conveying love and affection (aside from ATROCIOUS puns and poetry) is touch. While we're not even sure if she's asexual or not (and, truth be told, we aren't actually dating, but she told me her dad found forums for this, and there was a side forum for people in my situation, essentially) and we're young, I still worry. I've cared for her for far longer than I tell myself I should have, and I'm worried that, if things progress and get serious, I'm going to end up feeling like I need to choose between "true" sacrificial love and love mixed with physical intimacy, or some crap like that. I came to these forums to figure out how others have been coping, and what they've done. I guess I'm just trying to figure out what I want to do, really. =/ And before anyone tells me to just find someone else, if I wanted someone that puts out whenever I want it, I'd be with someone like that. I really do care for her, and, even if she ends up being asexual (I don't say this like it's a bad thing) and we don't officially date again, I want to be able to offer my support, best as I can, for her. I really do care for her, and whether I'm a friend, love, or lover, I want to be the best I can. Link to post Share on other sites
Tool1989 Posted November 2, 2007 Share Posted November 2, 2007 I require physical touch too. I need cuddling and to be cuddled back. I dunno why, I've always felt that way. Truthfully for this topic I think you should find out whether she is doing it because she knows you like it/is afraid of losing you or because he truly doesn't care. Link to post Share on other sites
nzraven Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 Oh, okay. My point is that I love my wife with all my heart, but she isn't my lover. That's a specific type of relationship, that I can's share with her. Doesn't affect my love for her, the two aren't linked.I married because I wanted a mate whom I loved. What I have is a non-mate, whom I love. As far as having a loving, caring life-mate, I'm fine. On a purely "marriage" level, I'm left bereft. Assuming we separate, I don't expect my relationship to change with my wife. I will continue to care about her, help her when she's in trouble, all of that. But I will also be permitted to find a mate to love, which is something that's fundamentally important to me. Does that make sense to you? -Chiaroscuro Brilliant explanation! Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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