Jump to content

Why is moving out seen as a step into adulthood?


Recommended Posts

It's increasingly expensive and a person ma have to decide between their own place or having savings at all. Many can't afford to move far away anyway because of older parents that might need care soon and living alone can come with the risk of having no one in close proximity to help out if something goes wrong.

I'm asking because I'm being set under a lot of pressure to move out and with all the shit going on in uni I can't handle the thought of it. I've done the first steps to rent a place, I'm already afraid of becoming homeless because I'm piss poor and I feel like the people in the house want to get rid of me.

 

I don't see much opportunity in moving to a bigger city if I'm too poor to make use of it. For that I'd need money. And I don't want to leave home. But if I don't then I'm a failure to the family like my parents that have driven their lives into the wall.

 

Edit (addition): I'm living with my grandma and my 2 siblings. When we used to live with our parents the roles between guardians and children was reversed. I had to 'adult' since the age of 10. The people that set me under pressure know this and barely show any respect for it and neither do they see me as a full adult despite the Fast that I may have as many, or in the case of most people my age that I know even more, responsibilities as them and that not just since yesterday. I'm tired of being seen as a spoiler baby when I have in fact done all the parental duties that my parents haven't since being a minor.

  • Like 8
Link to post
Share on other sites

Finland also has this attitude of "by default you move out when you grow up" exceptions include things like your parent needs assistance; I had acquaintance whose mother could get seizures during which she was helpless, and hence he decided not to move out but rather look out for his mom. I'm personally happy to live in my own apartment in a new city, while I'm also glad that my parents have directly told me that if things get iffy, I can feel free to move back at my parents'.

 

This urge to shoo kids is actually a bit funny, given it's not that old thing that adult people stayed at their parents and basically inherited their homes while also caring them when they grew old - my Granny had that. Some countries, like India, still has this as a default.

I suppose there are factors like this driving people move out include:

  • Freedom. If you can move out of your parents' house, it automatically opens up options to be somewhere else and for example to move to another city to attend to a specific college/job. My Granny again is a sad example of this; she would have wanted to go to study, but because she was the only kid and thus inheritor of her parents' farm (plus schools were far away), she was expected to stay. Wonder what her life would have been like if she had had an opportunity to study. I am NOT saying you should be ashamed of wanting to stay at your parents just because what happened to my Granny; I just tell an example of one reasons why people might want to move out.
     
  • Status/Luxury. Staying at your parents' is cheaper than having your own place, so you have your own place = you show you are successful = bigger status. Similar thing actually happened with beds: nowadays it is excepted that every person has their own bed, while for long it was common that family members and even strangers slept in in the same bed with no issue. In Middle Ages, you didn't get a room in an inn if you weren't rich; instead, it was more like a multi-bed dormitory where you shared a bed with a stranger - which was actually rather cool because it gave an opportunity to share news from different regions. Single person beds became more common because it was a way to show that the house can afford that many beds.
     
  • Stereotypes of basement dwellers and NEETs. Sad thing is that people have this mental image of that if you live at your parents' place, you're somehow live at expense of your parents and you are immature. Moving out somehow "proves" that you aren't dependent on your parent's care. 

Your situation definitely isn't fun. I think it would be ideal if you could do what is best for you instead of being affected by norms. You can barely afford your own place? Then why to make such a risk? Then again, your parents have rights, too, at least if Germany's legislation states that they aren't legally responsible of wellbeing of their kids when they are grown up... :S 

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
37 minutes ago, Phalena said:
  • Why is moving out seen as a step into adulthood?

Hi there :) I think the reason it's seen as a step into adulthood is because of the extreme responsibility you are taking on which doesn't exist when you live with your parents. When you live on your own, relying on your own money, anything could happen - you could end up starving or homeless (both of which happened to me when I first moved out) and it's entirely on you to pull yourself out of that situation. It forces you to get a lot of responsibility very quickly. Whereas remaining at home with one's parents affords one a sort of safety net - where you know there's a roof over your head etc. That's why moving out is seen as a step to adulthood: as you say it's literally terrifying for some people!!

 

EDIT: ''or having savings at all.''

 

yep, no savings. because almost every spare cent goes on survival. Again that's why it's seen as a step to adulthood - you're literally taking on so much responsibility!! I've been living alone since I was 17 and currently have exactly $36 in my savings account at age 33 with my elder daughter's birthday coming up in a couple of months. if I lived with mum or dad I could save hundreds every week even when paying them expenses ie food and electricity etc and give my kids the most amazing birthdays ever :c

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
32 minutes ago, Major West said:

Hi there :) I think the reason it's seen as a step into adulthood is because of the extreme responsibility you are taking on which doesn't exist when you live with your parents. When you live on your own, relying on your own money, anything could happen - you could end up starving or homeless (both of which happened to me when I first moved out) and it's entirely on you to pull yourself out of that situation. It forces you to get a lot of responsibility very quickly. Whereas remaining at home with one's parents affords one a sort of safety net - where you know there's a roof over your head etc. That's why moving out is seen as a step to adulthood: as you say it's literally terrifying for some people!!

 

EDIT: ''or having savings at all.''

 

yep, no savings. because almost every spare cent goes on survival. Again that's why it's seen as a step to adulthood - you're literally taking on so much responsibility!! I've been living alone since I was 17 and currently have exactly $36 in my savings account at age 33 with my elder daughter's birthday coming up in a couple of months. if I lived with mum or dad I could save hundreds every week even when paying them expenses ie food and electricity etc and give my kids the most amazing birthdays ever :c

 

It sounds exactly like my childhood always was with the difference that society is finally allowed to officially blame me for everything.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
The French Unicorn

I think it's about independence ? And the fact that when you move out, you have to do things yourself instead of counting on someone else, which is seen as being "adult"? I also think there's must be here the idea that if you move out alone, you will start looking for a romantic partner to start your own family; and if you already have a romantic partner and move with them, this is the first step to start this new family.

 

But yeah there are too much pressure puts on people and in general, I don't like these kind of step that will tell you if you are a "real" adult or not.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Frenchace said:

I think it's about independence ? And the fact that when you move out, you have to do things yourself instead of counting on someone else, which is seen as being "adult"? I also think there's must be here the idea that if you move out alone, you will start looking for a romantic partner to start your own family; and if you already have a romantic partner and move with them, this is the first step to start this new family.

 

But yeah there are too much pressure puts on people and in general, I don't like these kind of step that will tell you if you are a "real" adult or not.

I wished the people around me IRL would at least acknowledge that my parents have never really done anything for me since I was the defacto mother that had to raise my siblings und play replacement wife. The only thing my 'dad' did was bring home some money. Well, if he didn't throw it out for his stupid motorcycle instead of using it for utilities if there already wouldn't be child support.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
Myssterry
1 hour ago, AavaMeri said:

This urge to shoo kids is actually a bit funny, given it's not that old thing that adult people stayed at their parents and basically inherited their homes while also caring them when they grew old - my Granny had that. Some countries, like India, still has this as a default.

This is very true.  I looked after my parents as they aged, but society gives me no respect for that.  I am either despised or pitied.  It seems that people want to shame other people and will find ways to do it whatever.

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites
uniQChick

Initially, everyone lived in families supporting and protecting each other. I think it was designed specifically to get people spend money: borrowing money from banks, buying a house and things to fill it, buying a car or a boat. They imposed the idea of entering into adulthood, as if we are not able to learn anything by living together. Why break the foundations that have been working for centuries?

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites

Personally, I dont see the appeal. In my idea society, people could live with their parents and contribute to the home with their own money and such. They take on more responsibility but make their home stronger. 

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
Lysandre, the Star-Crossed

Adults are generally thought to not be obligated to or dependent on another higher authority in a way that their children are still obligated to and dependent on them. To step out into the world away from obligation and dependency that the parent-child relationship entails is to declare oneself in that way an adult.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
15 minutes ago, Lysandre, the Star-Crossed said:

Adults are generally thought to not be obligated to or dependent on another higher authority in a way that their children are still obligated to and dependent on them. To step out into the world away from obligation and dependency that the parent-child relationship entails is to declare oneself in that way an adult.

I agree with the Definition. But what about children who's roles were reversed? I mean, the extended family knows about my situation, I struggle to see how they can still argue like that.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Black Tourmaline

having your own home apart from the extended family is a fairly modern thing.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross
5 hours ago, Phalena said:

I wished the people around me IRL would at least acknowledge that my parents have never really done anything for me since I was the defacto mother that had to raise my siblings und play replacement wife. The only thing my 'dad' did was bring home some money. Well, if he didn't throw it out for his stupid motorcycle instead of using it for utilities if there already wouldn't be child support.

 

2 hours ago, Phalena said:

I agree with the Definition. But what about children who's roles were reversed? I mean, the extended family knows about my situation, I struggle to see how they can still argue like that.

Despite how many want to kid themselves about it, alot of people dont actually put much thought into half the things they say and simply follow the trend because it makes them feel like theyre in the right. Its something you see parents do when they treat you like shit and then turn and say "well I gave you live and Ive taken care of you growing up" when A) Noone asked you to have sex and have a child so this is a BS arbitrary argument that you know you cannot refute againts and B) the opposite is true and the kids did the actual parenting for the most part. That they didnt have the age or legal status is irrelevant. Making sure parents dont royally fuck up isnt a dynamic reserved exclusively for people in their 60's

 

The same holds true for moving out. Yes, you are now responsible for your survival, that much isnt question; but the same situation can be applied just as if you were still living in your parents house and making sure that they didnt lose the home. The market under which many parents got their home was exttensively more appropiate for that kind of decision, whereas today its not a viable option for many and a parent would only need to be thrown into a situation of not having a home and wanting to, but facing the multiple issues the current generation is. This "fuck you I got mine" mentality under which the "get out of mommy and daddy's home" idea  is based on, would not hold a candle if the people saying as such were in the same situation

 

Also, alot of parents, are vehemetly irresponsible and negligent in teaching their kids appropiate skills to use in life like saving. You dont wait till you move out to start learning how to save because youre going to find yourself in a tight spot quickly. This also holds true for spending.

 

I remember my parents bitching at me about how I was spending my money when I first started working, failing to realize that I had never had the opportunity to do so before so of course I was giddy about buying things I liked for the first time. And through trial and error (and a couple of thousand dollars in credit card debt) I learned the hard way to manage my money, which amusingly enough, my parents dont know how to do as they will get it wedged between their eyes that they want something and go and buy it without realizing  or wanting to pay heed to warnings about the consequeces further down.

 

I have had this argument time and again with my mother for whom I have paid off part some of her credit cards and explicitly stated to not use them again only to find another slip of paper at the end of the month in the mail box for the account I paid off and when confronting her about it, she retaliates with "I needed to buy it and I will pay it off" despite the fact that she cant and eventually it falls onto me to resolve the issue to prevent bigger and more complicated situations from occuring. But of course, Im the "lazy and ungratefull son" even though Ive pulled her ass out of the fire more times that she would care to admit.

 

Its a slap across the face to say the least to fork over a couple of hubdred bucks and for the first words to come out of her mouth to be "thank you God for not abandoning me". Like FUCK GOD I was the one who just handed you the money! Would it kill you to just say thank you?

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere

I never wanted to follow the "standard" path of "starting a family", but I also wouldn't want to continue living with my family. I'm quite introverted, I have a strong need for privacy, so living alone is perfect for me.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Everyone has their own situations. As far as I'm concerned people should do what is best for them. For me that did mean moving out on my own. There were a couple of times I moved back into my mom's house when I was much younger, just as a temporary waypoint between circumstances; like when I had to move out of my apartment building a couple of months before going away to university. But staying at my mom's for any length of time became increasingly unbearable for a variety of reasons. I don't even like to stay there for a few days when I'm visiting. (there are not many people whose house I'd want to stay at even just for a short visit)

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

to be honest for most of human history while they were living in houses or huts, a small house would home the entire extended family. three generations. 

 

so, I don't get why the modern age is like "oh you're 18? when are you moving out"?

 

however in my case my relationship with my parents is... it's something that can be good if our interaction is only social. So moving out has always been a goal. If I'm at my parents house, my mom gets controlling, and I just don't feel fully independant. 

 

TBH I think living in a shared house would be great. 

 

but it's rediculous how expensive housing is. it just keeps going up, and our wages aren't meeting it. 

 

at least, this is my feel as an american. This kind of thing varies from culture to cultere

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Some people see it as “Baby birds have to leave the nest”. Of course we’re not birds, we’re social mammals. Orcas, which we’re more closely related to than birds, are known to stick around with their mothers for most of their lives.

 

I personally prefer to live alone (although I did live with my dad until I was 26). But if others live with their parents and their parents are fine with it then I don’t see a problem. If the offspring are splitting the bills with their parents then it isn’t much different from living with roommates. I do find it funny that some people think moving in with complete strangers is “better” than living with parents.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
hudsonvalley76

I don't believe in the American philosophy of moving out at 18. I think people should stay with family until or if they get married. It is too lonely living by yourself and too expensive. I think solo living is the reason why the majority of society is depressed. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

It's a presentation of wealth (whether real or not) in USA Culture. It wasn't that long ago that children would live with their parents while saving for their first house. That would even often continue to take place after having a fiance and whatnot. And not that long before then, newlyweds would stay living with their parents. That cultural norm started to go away when the country started to idolize wealth for the sake of wealth more than the strength of a hard day's work which resonated much more with the poor/middle class. Keep in mind, this wasn't that long ago, the nuclear family idea only really started in the early 1900s, was isolated to certain demographics and classes, and then spread into the middle class after WWII. My thought is this was supported to help sustain/creation an 'attraction' metric that focused on certain hard to obtain items. Keeping certain demographics of people from being seen as capable, and other demographics as inherently desirable.

Right after WWII the USA was prospering, pretty well, for certain demographics at least, and the idea of moving out, getting your own place, was not only realistic but happening a lot amongst the quickly growing middle class. Then that became a standard, you can see it even in dating apps. People just a bit older than me commonly will post things like, "I've got my career, my house, my car, you need the same, basics are basics." And then people just a bit younger than me are posting pictures of themselves in tiny apartments saying stuff like, "I work 2 jobs, and have little time. But I can make it work for the right person." That isn't true in every case, but just by reading these things I can often guess at demographics of who is saying it. Either way, as time went on, and wealth accumulation started to flatline for the USA (70s/80s) people moved out to try to emulate the wealth factor, as it's seen as being one step closer. You don't have the negative trait of 'living with your parents' and you don't have the positive trait of 'having your own home'.

Afterall, how many people are made fun of, looked down upon, for living with their parents even though it may just be the sensible thing to do? Your Mom's basement is a big negative online, but hey, what if that's the cheap option, allows for savings, and allows the person to participate in a worthwhile life? Making them smart. We don't ask, we assume. Just leaving costs more, and I wish I had had the option of sticking around, pooling time and effort, to generate wealth. I didn't, and it was a mess of a struggle to get where I am, so I don't hold that kind of stuff against anyone - it's not even on the list of possibilities for some folks, and in some cultures its even seen as bad/dumb to do.

I hope the negativity of it goes away at some point and we get back to a more sensible community living standard, 

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites

When you live with your parents you are still to a lesser or greater extend under their control.   I think you need to live separately, supporting yourself to have full control over your life  - and take the consequences good or bad of your decisions.

 

This isn't a comment on what anyone "should" do.

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, uhtred said:

When you live with your parents you are still to a lesser or greater extend under their control.   I think you need to live separately, supporting yourself to have full control over your life  - and take the consequences good or bad of your decisions.

 

This isn't a comment on what anyone "should" do.

I mean, you are under your landlord's control in an analogous way. We could do a better job of modeling good adulthood dynamics between parents and their adult children overall, I suppose. Parents who treat their adult children as if they are not adults can certainly create some negatives. But a parent could model landlord behavior and treat their adult child as a tenant for economic responsibility type situations (albeit at likely lower costs than a landlord would) and treat as family when it comes to supporting them emotionally/mentally/socially. That said -

The whole utilitarian point of social networks - friends, family, co-workers - are so that you do not bear the full extent of the consequences of your actions (and them in reverse). This is spread out. It isn't good to take on the full consequence as that often make living untenable, it isn't a 'good' to share it, but societies have tended to survive because the individual responsibility for survival is lessened (to a point) and the group responsibility for one another's survival is increased (to a counterpoint), allowing more people to be expected to live and carry on. We buy-in to many community/social supports by specifically giving up untethered/unregulated freedoms. I guess I'm just not seeing how living separately, in a modern society, gives you full control over your life/take on the consequences of your decisions just by not being with your parents?

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
8 minutes ago, dwest said:

I mean, you are under your landlord's control in an analogous way. We could do a better job of modeling good adulthood dynamics between parents and their adult children overall, I suppose. Parents who treat their adult children as if they are not adults can certainly create some negatives. But a parent could model landlord behavior and treat their adult child as a tenant for economic responsibility type situations (albeit at likely lower costs than a landlord would) and treat as family when it comes to supporting them emotionally/mentally/socially. That said -

The whole utilitarian point of social networks - friends, family, co-workers - are so that you do not bear the full extent of the consequences of your actions (and them in reverse). This is spread out. It isn't good to take on the full consequence as that often make living untenable, it isn't a 'good' to share it, but societies have tended to survive because the individual responsibility for survival is lessened (to a point) and the group responsibility for one another's survival is increased (to a counterpoint), allowing more people to be expected to live and carry on. We buy-in to many community/social supports by specifically giving up untethered/unregulated freedoms. I guess I'm just not seeing how living separately, in a modern society, gives you full control over your life/take on the consequences of your decisions just by not being with your parents?

I view your parents and a landlord as very different.   You parents likely feel bound to help you - if you ran out of money, they are unlikely to throw you out on the street (most parents anyway - there are exceptions).  Your landlord may be a generally good person, but you have a business arrangement with them and they have every right (including moral) to evict you if you can't pay, and take on a paying tenant.

 

OTOH, your parents will to some extend judge you for what you do at home, how you live your life.  Your landlord should not know or care as long as you don't violate the terms of the lease.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
EmeraldIce

I'm Chinese and it's never been looked down upon in our culture to live with parents, as long as you have a stable career for yourself. It also helps a lot if you're married, because once you're married, you become seen as the head of the household, not your parents. You and your spouse are the ones expected to make all the money and make all the financial decisions. Retirement age is pretty young in China (50 for women and 60 for men), so the majority of people are no longer working by the time their kids are married. The usual family structure from what I've seen is:

 

Ages 0-18 You live with parents and/or grandparents.

Ages 18-25 You live on your own in college or otherwise away from home to jumpstart your career and relationship.

Ages 25-35 You buy a house or condo under your name with your parents' financial contribution, and your parents move in with you to babysit your kids during the day while you and your spouse work to support the whole extended family (most Chinese couples get married around age 25 or so and have kids soon after).

Ages 35- Your parents might either stay or move out, but if they choose to leave, they will return once their spouse has passed. It's uncommon, if not inconceivable, for a widow or widower with adult children to live alone or in a senior home. Their children will be judged heavily if they don't take their parent in.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, uhtred said:

You parents likely feel bound to help you - if you ran out of money,

I can see this, but if the rent is affordable (which parents will also likely be able to provide) then there's the requirement. You put in stipulations like, "If you don't make rent, you have to pay more the following month (like a 10% tax), and if this continues for x months, you will need to find another place to live." But then be willing to help them find another place to live, give them advice on what to look for, or how to grow their job, etc. Without that requirement/responsibility piece (even if friendlier) I think we do people a disservice, to your point, but that disservice shouldn't be favored over affordability and early wealth accumulation (that's the time it matters the most).

15 minutes ago, uhtred said:

OTOH, your parents will to some extend judge you for what you do at home, how you live your life.

This is exactly one of the reasons I suggested making it a business arrangement for economics. Even go get a generic lease form, make it look and feel like a normal leasing agreement. That said -

16 minutes ago, uhtred said:

Your landlord should not know or care as long as you don't violate the terms of the lease.

Landlords have the ability to squelch all sorts of behaviors. Anything not under the special classes groups in your state/federal government can be locked out. They can dictate all sorts of things, stop activities both inside and outside of the apartment, they just don't get so strict - anymore - in most situations because it removes the desire to live there. That's the leverage you can use with your parents as well, unless they are wealthy, they'll want you paying rent to them versus not. Negotiate the terms. Put it in writing. Give penalties for people who break rules (on either side).

To be fair, I didn't have these arrangements because I left home when I was able and have never gone back, but I've negotiated with landlords a'plenty and had contracts/leases changed in almost every place I've ever lived (even at college living facilities). So, I have a skewed perspective on this, I just don't understand the hesitancy to negotiate terms, leverage each position, come to an amicable agreement on both sides, and then enforce those things - whether it is parents or not.

All that aside - If someone is staying home because they think it'll be 'easy' and never put anything in writing, then they are suffering the consequences of their decisions in full when their parents try and dictate their behavior. That shouldn't be something they complain about or be upset with, they should do something about it, or follow under the authority that they gave away without resistance.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, dwest said:

I just don't understand the hesitancy to negotiate terms, leverage each position, come to an amicable agreement on both sides, and then enforce those things

in many places landlords will just choose a different tenant if you try to negotiate terms :o Here in NZ, you take what you can get!

 

5 hours ago, dwest said:

Landlords have the ability to squelch all sorts of behaviors. Anything not under the special classes groups in your state/federal government can be locked out. They can dictate all sorts of things, stop activities both inside and outside of the apartment, they just don't get so strict - anymore - in most situations because it removes the desire to live there. That's the leverage you can use with your parents as well, unless they are wealthy, they'll want you paying rent to them versus not. Negotiate the terms. Put it in writing. Give penalties for people who break rules (on either side).

The difference is you will be stuck in the same house with your parents - therefore you are quite restricted in everything you can do within your own space. When I visit my mother I have to watch how I talk and behave, and can't just sit around on the computer all day or whatever lol. I can do whatever I want in my own home though as long as I'm not destroying it or smoking. My landlord doesn't care that I sometimes run to the bathroom naked. I couldn't do that if I lived with my parents.

 

Also, parents might genuinely want their own space as well. The only way living with parents would really be comparable to having a landlord is if you actually lived WITH your landlord, haha, and even then parents will still treat their child very different than a landlord will in most cases (ie parents will probably feed their adult kid if the kid didn't buy food. A landlord would get pissed off if you tried to eat their food probably!!)

Link to post
Share on other sites
rainbowocollie

Screw societal expectations, stay with your parents if they're fine with it and you're being responsible/contributing to the household. I live with my mom, and have decided that I will stick with her because she's getting older and gaining more health problems. I want to be there to take care of her when she can no longer work. I pay her rent every month and pay property taxes on her house every year.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

As long as you live with your parents, you're not making decisions entirely on your own.  When you move away from your parents, "adulthood" means you no longer can (or should) blame others for how their decisions affect you -- because you're making the decisions.  I moved out when I was 17 and started working, and made a number of stupid decisions, but they were mine.  

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Sally said:

As long as you live with your parents, you're not making decisions entirely on your own.  When you move away from your parents, "adulthood" means you no longer can (or should) blame others for how their decisions affect you -- because you're making the decisions.  I moved out when I was 17 and started working, and made a number of stupid decisions, but they were mine.  

Is that a generalised 'you'?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
coolshades

I am 39 and still live with my parents, and my sister and her family live in a house across the street.  The 8 of us make up the entire family.  There are no other cousins, aunts, uncles, or grandparents living.   So it's important for us to stick together, as we're all each other has.  I have a good relationship with my parents and feel it would be unsafe for me to live alone in my hometown.  I lived on my own in another city for 6 weeks doing a summer study abroad, and I did enjoy it quite a lot, but I felt safer in that city than I do in my hometown.  Also, since I live with my parents and don't have a car, I have far fewer bills to worry about and can save up my money for other things, like traveling, doing things with my niece, or buying supplies for my classroom.  I pay "rent" to my parents every month and pay all my own bills, and the only thing my parents pay for is food, because my mom says she'd never make me pay for my own food as long as I lived with her. haha.

 

Once my parents pass (they are both 75 but people tend to live long lives in my family) I do intend to move elsewhere on my own.  But my sister is already fretting about that and doesn't want me to move away from her.  Like I said, close-knit family. LOL.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Lilibulero
On 5/3/2022 at 8:54 AM, Myssterry said:

This is very true.  I looked after my parents as they aged, but society gives me no respect for that. 

Seconded. If you save the government a mass of money by keeping parents out of nursing homes, they just think of you as a soft touch. If you're lucky, you'll still have the remnants of a career to return to. If not, you can end up being a shadow on the edge of society.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...