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What does this mean?


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I like sex; it feels good. I don't seem to be inherently attracted to either sex, but when I'm with my partner, I can be aroused by the right parts being touched and I sometimes even initiate sexual activity because it feels good and I enjoy being close to the person I love. When I feel the desire for sexual stimulation, both masturbation and sex do the trick and the only reason sex is more desirable is that it's a bit easier than masturbation. I also don't tend to fantasize when I masturbate. So, I seem to be sexual at times (there are times when I seem clearly asexual), but I'm not sure if I actually have a sexual orientation or perhaps have a sexual disorientation, or perhaps something different.

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Just because one doesn't particularly get much out of sex means that we are vegetables! Arousal is part physical part mental, take something out of the equation and you still have the rest of the numbers. Sex is kind of engineered to feel good physically. I think population of intelligent creatures would severely diminish if sex felt like somebody was gutting you alive. You may or may not term yourself asexual but you sound like you place sex with a partener low in your personal values.

Anyway, get what comfort there is to be had in knowing you're not alone. :cake:

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I think there are a few asexuals on this site who are like you. You say you aren't particularly attracted to either sex? Then you qualify as an asexual! Just because you enjoy sex itself doen't mean anything.

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I think there are a few asexuals on this site who are like you. You say you aren't particularly attracted to either sex? Then you qualify as an asexual! Just because you enjoy sex itself doen't mean anything.

I just wasn't so sure because the faq's are always talking about not having the desire to have sex or act on arousal...

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Let's put it this way: Do you look at your partner and think "Phwoar, I'd so love to boink you right now!"? If the answer's 'Yes', you don't fit in the asexual bracket all that well. :wink:

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Well, I don't exactly think that, but if my libido at the moment is at a point where I am desiring sexual stimulation, I suppose that thought could come up as a result of sex being easier than masturbation and it's nice to be close...

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It seems to me that most asexuals don't like having sex, so I can understand where you would get that idea. However, it is not a prerequisite, so to speak.

I, for instance, like olives. I like the taste and I enjoy eating them. But I never look at an olive and have a sudden desire to eat it. Nor do I specifically order meals with olives in them, or anything else. Should the possiblilty of eating an olive come up I still usually won't do it. But sometimes, when the situation fits perfectly and there happens to be olives in front of me, I might eat one and enjoy it.

Asexuality can be the same. Just as I don't have a particular urge to eat olives yet still enjoy them, some asexuals don't feel sexually attracted to people yet still like having sex.

(And if you want to expand the metaphore further you could say that hunger is like sex drive. I may get hungry and need to satify my hunger, but I still won't care if it's by eating olives or boring old bread. And asexuals, then, can still have a sex drive, but have no particular need to fulfill it by having sex.)

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