xaida Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 Guys, I have to share something with you *beaming of glee* In German TV we have such a "Sex and the City"-blend each Saturday night on a private channel. I was not really fond of it until today I read in the TV programme that one of the protagonists will meet an *asexual* woman. Considering that the word "asexual" has been out here for only two years now I would consider this a real breakthrough ;) It is the first time that a character in TV outs herself as asexual. When my brother-in-law saw it he looked at me in pretended resignation and sighed jokingly: "Well, Kati. Its come that far already. Did this really *have* to be?" Yes! Strike! ;) Of course she will be scared of touches and her asexuality of all will burden the relationship to her husband and she will want him to have sex with the protagonist and everything is really problematic (says the programme) - but hey, I guess the first homosexual character in a private channel soap opera didnt have a much greater image ;) Have you had soap operas yet with asexuals outing themselves? Link to post Share on other sites
Cicero Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 Wow, that's really exciting! An actual intended asexual character! Link to post Share on other sites
Jean Grey Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 I'm definitely going to watch that! Thanks xaida! Link to post Share on other sites
Hayley Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 That's really amazing, wow! :D Regardless of how the way she deals with her asexuality is portrayed, it's wonderful just for asexuality to be dealt with in such a way. Anyway, there ARE asexuals who hate that part of themselves. They're showing one aspect to it. Sadly an unfortunate one, but it's still valid, and makes for better TV. Hopefully somebody will watch that, think "Hey, that's me!", Google the term, and hey, presto... Link to post Share on other sites
thylacine Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 Why not a successful, intelligent, asexual single woman who's well educated and has an interesting career... ? BUT NOOOOOO!!! It has to be a depressed, conflicted, troubled asexual woman... :twisted: Link to post Share on other sites
Cicero Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 But everyone in these programmes is depressed, conflicted and troubled. ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Jean Grey Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 But everyone in these programmes is depressed, conflicted and troubled. ;) You are so right! :D Link to post Share on other sites
KAGU143 Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 I haven't seen the show, obviously, and it's doubtful if I ever will, but I will make a prediction. I predict that she will be "cured" of being asexual when she finally mets the right person. -GB Link to post Share on other sites
esda Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 @ xaida: Which soap opera is that and on which channel is it aired? o.O I don't watch soap operas (or any TV at all), but this makes me want to watch at least some episodes :D @ Cicero: SO TRUE! *lol* All the people in this sort of shows are troubled, depressed and conflicted. That's what soap operas are all about. (And that's why I don't watch that stuff. I mean: who can watch that stuff without getting depressive themselves? >_>; ) Link to post Share on other sites
xaida Posted August 3, 2007 Author Share Posted August 3, 2007 @ xaida: Which soap opera is that and on which channel is it aired? o.O I don't watch soap operas (or any TV at all), but this makes me want to watch at least some episodes :D One episode will do: I dont think the asexual woman is going to appear on more than one sequel. Its called "Alles ausser Sex" ("Everything but sex") and aired tomorrow by 8pm15 on Pro7 Have fun! :) Link to post Share on other sites
esda Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 One episode will do: I dont think the asexual woman is going to appear on more than one sequel. Its called "Alles ausser Sex" ("Everything but sex") and aired tomorrow by 8pm15 on Pro7 Have fun! :) She's getting just one episode? Grrrrr! Well... better than nothing, I suppose. Am SO going to watch this. Thanks for the hint! :) Link to post Share on other sites
Jean Grey Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Okay, I just saw it, and have mixed feelings about it. Alles außer Sex (Everything but sex) The protagonist (Edda) works at a hospital and has what she calls a series of One-Night-Stands with a co-worker. One of her patients is a woman who has some problems with her pregnancy. Edda asks the woman's husband why they decided to go down the in-vitro road. The husband answers: (and please don't throw things at the screen now) "My wife is suffering from asexuality." Edda goes to put the woman on an IV-pole, but she doesn't want to be touched: "As long as you don't touch me, we don't have a problem!" She goes on to lecture the doctor: "Statistically, sex is the main reason that relationships end." Edda: "Well you would now about that." The woman: "Perhaps people would be happier without sex. I am happy with my husband, but is my husband happy too? Isn't it common knowledge that men can't live without. Please sleep with him! I know he misses the sex. He likes you, and I like you too. Edda's male co-worker: (on the husband) "How can her husband live like that? Do you think he goes and gets it somewhere else? How does she plan on taking care of a child, if she is afraid of touching?" Edda (and her girlfriends): "Can you imagine me as an asexual?" Girlsfriends: "Noooo!" (she seems to be something of a slut) Edda: "Her husband pretends that he doesn't miss a thing. If you had to decide between love and sex, which would you choose?" Girlsfriends: "Love!" "Sex!" Back in the woman's hospital room: "I have to practise (touching) every single day. Children need tenderness. So do men!" Edda: "He loves you!" Woman: "I love him too! And I don't want him to have to miss out on anything." Edda is still reluctant to do it with her patient's husband. at Edda's appartment: Husband: "I am very happy with my wife and there's almost nothing that I miss. But even so: I would like to go to bed with you." Edda's eyes fall out of Edda's head. Husband: "Not to sleep with you. Just to touch you." during the stroking session: Edda: "Did you never have the desire to kiss your wife?" Husband: "I've learned to kiss her without touching her!" (Awww, so cute!) I don't miss the sex. I just miss the closeness." Edda wonders what love is (because of her co-worker who she is afraid to get serious about). Husband: "Love is when renunciation comes easy." Obviously, I didn't care for the 'suffering from asexuality' part, but the husband-wife relationship was really cute. They weren't good-looking, but they weren't ugly either. The woman was pregnant, so nobody could have gotten the impression that asexuality means not wanting children. When Edda talked to her girlfriends about asexuality, they all seemed to know about it, she didn't have to explain it to them. Overall, not bad (something which cannot be said for the rest of the show, which was oh-so-boring!), not bad at all! Link to post Share on other sites
xaida Posted August 4, 2007 Author Share Posted August 4, 2007 I haven't seen the show, obviously, and it's doubtful if I ever will, but I will make a prediction.I predict that she will be "cured" of being asexual when she finally mets the right person. -GB Not quite ;) She is married, they love each other and she is pregnant by an artificial insemination. She doesnt want him to miss anything and consequently he exchanges physical intimacy with the protagonist, but stays with her. The overall statement was, that he did not miss sex and could well live without it, but not without some kind of physical closeness. The story started off with her husband confessing dramatically "She suffers under... *awkward silence* ...asexuality". I laughed my head off and secretly thought "You obviously suffer under ... *meaningful gasp*... heterosexuality ;)" But then they portrayed her and I realized suffering she must have. But not of asexuality. She could not even shake hands with someone or allow the doctor to touch her arm for taking blood, let alone was there any passion, seduction, flirtation or fun shown in their marriage. Really, I found it pathetic. And everything crusted with this melancholic, problematic, therapy-lusting atmosphere, which contrasted strangely to the fun-loving protagonists. Meanwhile I have met many asexuals and none of them was close to what she was like. If I was her I would for sure suffer and if I was her husband I would for sure miss something - and I *am* asexual. Why did they have to make her so of all? The way the protagonists talked about it was quite accepting and tolerant, I thought. They reflected about questions like "If you were to decide between love and sex, ...", "Imagine I would just happen to be asexual...", "If I really loved someone, shouldnt it be easy to do without or should the partner get sex from some other place?" etc. And the final statement I found was love without sex is as legitimate as sex without love and a relationship without sex could be possible if it wasnt void of intimacy. So, good news to me: the world is full of potential partners :) Just sad image provided here of what asexuals are like. Link to post Share on other sites
esda Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 The story started off with her husband confessing dramatically "She suffers under... *awkward silence* ...asexuality". I laughed my head off and secretly thought "You obviously suffer under ... *meaningful gasp*... heterosexuality ;)" Yeah, that's exactly what I thought, too! I was so pissed-off after just this sentence that it took me a while to be willing to watch the rest of the episode. *lol* I liked what her husband said later, though. But I was totally pissed-off about how the asexual woman was portrayed: #1: asexuality being something you "suffer" from, like an illness #2: asexuality = being unable to touch and be touched and kiss, which applies to most likely just a small percentage of asexuals but not to ALL!!! >:( Link to post Share on other sites
sparklypixie Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Still, it's pretty amazing that an asexual person is in a soap opera! I haven't heard of any other asexual person being prominently portrayed in any kind of recent television/movie etc. I'd go for the "Hurrah it's being talked about" point of view myself. :) What word do you use for asexual in German? Link to post Share on other sites
xaida Posted August 11, 2007 Author Share Posted August 11, 2007 We would call it "asexuell" :) Link to post Share on other sites
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