Put this off for a long time but here goes 🥳

[Awkward Ace-Cream]

Despite (eventually, after much confusion 😆) figuring out I was ace a few years ago, it's taken me a long time to feel ready to join a site like this; in the earlier days I tried discord stuffs but they were primarily populated by people a lot younger than I was & I felt alienated (100000% not their fault, obviously!) plus I find those faster-paced, chat-room style spaces make me very anxious & panicky so it put me off for at least a year or so.

 

It's been a very slow process & the journey has not been a straight road but reading so many stories on here & seeing how kind & patient the community seems to be finally got me to a point where I wanted to try & at least pluck up the courage to say hello.  So...

 

... Hello! I'm in the South West of England, I'm in my early 30s, my closest friends know I'm ace but my family don't yet, I'm fairly sure I'm also aro but I'm still assessing that... 😅 I find the concept of romance on the whole incredibly confusing so I try not to think about it too hard xux

 

I found out I was ace through a character I role-played online, of all things. I don't RP in those spaces anymore because a n x i e t y 🥳 but that character takes up a giant place in my heart & always will. I still write a lot of terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE fanfic with them at the forefront of various ludicrous adventures. ^^;

 

My friends are very supportive & I love them more than anything, however, they are all varying flavours of allo & despite their astonishing kindness & understanding I still often feel that little niggle of just... not quite being on the same wavelength, I suppose? And that's led me to want to try talking to some other aces again.

 

I have prepared many essay questions for you all.~ 😁

[Gilphchen]

Howdy!

We all go at our own pace and have our own roadblocks. Happy to have you here on Aven! Feel free to chat with me(and i imagine quite a few others) whenever you want. I am glad you had the courage to say hello :) 

[Dreamer23]

As another person in their early'ish 30s (and who empathized a lot with that intro) - welcome to Aven!!!

And in typical Aven tradition, have some cake!  

Spoiler

 

 

I've always found role playing to be a great way for introspection, so I'm so glad it's helped you figure out some more details about who you are!

And hey, even with anxiety: there are always quieter people in RP groups, and that's totally okay - it's the mix of people that makes it fun! (And Covid / online versions have made it even easier to opt out again if it ends up not working out ;D)

 

I hope you enjoy your stay here at Aven!

[Aye]

Hello! 🍰🍰

[Eutierria]

Welcome! ^_^🎂

 

The following thread may (or may not) be of interest to you -

 

 

[Boondocks Paradox]

Hello and welcome to AVEN! As tradition here, we welcome new members with a cake!! 

 

 

Here's a strawberry funfetti ice cream cake for you. Feel free to participate in our forum and hope you enjoy your stay here 😄

[LeChat]

Hi. Welcome! 

 

[a pic of a waffle cone, topped with two scoops of purple, blue and green ice cream, mixed together.]

 

[alto]

Welcome to AVEN!  Have a fun time!

 

[steel_quill]

Hello, @Awkward Ace-Cream! Welcome to AVEN! 🍰

 

5 hours ago, Awkward Ace-Cream said:

I find the concept of romance on the whole incredibly confusing so I try not to think about it too hard xux

lol, same. I'm at the point of preparing a spreadsheet with "stuff romantic people have mentioned wanting in relationships" and "stuff aromantic people have mentioned wanting/not wanting in relationships" from reading this site to try to figure out where I am along that spectrum. 

 

5 hours ago, Awkward Ace-Cream said:

I still write a lot of terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE fanfic with them at the forefront of various ludicrous adventures. ^^;

Fanfic is amazing! I stumbled into it during middle school, and it made me laugh so hard. 

[Eridanus]

8 hours ago, Awkward Ace-Cream said:

I find the concept of romance on the whole incredibly confusing

Pfffft This is too relatable. XD

 

Anyways, Welcome to AVEN!! We're happy to have you!

 

[Awkward Ace-Cream]

Wow! This was so nice to wake up to, thank you all so much! QuQ  That ice-cream is a work of art holy hekk ✨ I don't know how any of you found such astonishing cakes either, daym.

 

Thank you also for the recommendations, I will have lots to explore later today. 💙

 

9 hours ago, Dreamer23 said:

As another person in their early'ish 30s (and who empathized a lot with that intro) - welcome to Aven!!!

And in typical Aven tradition, have some cake!  

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

I've always found role playing to be a great way for introspection, so I'm so glad it's helped you figure out some more details about who you are!

And hey, even with anxiety: there are always quieter people in RP groups, and that's totally okay - it's the mix of people that makes it fun! (And Covid / online versions have made it even easier to opt out again if it ends up not working out ;D)

 

I hope you enjoy your stay here at Aven!

Thank you & you're definitely not wrong about the RP 😁 I always felt like that character & I understood each other in a weird way I didn't get with other characters I'd written for then when I finally clocked that I was ace it was just like, 'Oooh okay how did I not get that.' 😆

 

5 hours ago, steel_quill said:

Hello, @Awkward Ace-Cream! Welcome to AVEN! 🍰

 

lol, same. I'm at the point of preparing a spreadsheet with "stuff romantic people have mentioned wanting in relationships" and "stuff aromantic people have mentioned wanting/not wanting in relationships" from reading this site to try to figure out where I am along that spectrum. 

 

Fanfic is amazing! I stumbled into it during middle school, and it made me laugh so hard. 

That's a really useful idea! I might have to try that myself 🤔

Fanfic had definitely cracked me up in the past without a doubt, yeah. I write more seriously too but fanfic is stupid dumb fun that's just for me. :3

[TheSmolFoxWeeb]

Hi welcome to aven 🍰

[Guest]

Welcome! Writing terrible, terrible fanfic sounds like a great pastime. 😁 It's such a great time piecing together clues gleaned from the canon and trying to puzzle out how the bits in-between might've played out.

 

I relate to feeling confused about romanticism. For now I've concluded that I'm some degree of romantic because I'd like to be in a relationship. Although I may be entirely wrong, who knows!

[Awkward Ace-Cream]

3 hours ago, TheSmolFoxWeeb said:

Hi welcome to aven 🍰

Thanks so much!

 

14 minutes ago, Lilika said:

Welcome! Writing terrible, terrible fanfic sounds like a great pastime. 😁 It's such a great time piecing together clues gleaned from the canon and trying to puzzle out how the bits in-between might've played out.

 

I relate to feeling confused about romanticism. For now I've concluded that I'm some degree of romantic because I'd like to be in a relationship. Although I may be entirely wrong, who knows!

It is, it is, so many insane possibilities, so little time 😆

 

I think I'm puzzled mostly by what does actually get defined as romantic, I know some in this community feel that hand-holding is a romantic thing but that others don't & I'm not sure where I stand on that either xux

[steel_quill]

8 hours ago, Awkward Ace-Cream said:

I think I'm puzzled mostly by what does actually get defined as romantic, I know some in this community feel that hand-holding is a romantic thing but that others don't & I'm not sure where I stand on that either xux

For what it's worth, there's old threads like this one that make a distinction between "romantic" behaviors and "romantic" as an orientation. I think there's an index, too, where I found this and some others of a bunch of romantic vs. aromantic discussion threads from circa 2012.

[Awkward Ace-Cream]

15 hours ago, steel_quill said:

For what it's worth, there's old threads like this one that make a distinction between "romantic" behaviors and "romantic" as an orientation. I think there's an index, too, where I found this and some others of a bunch of romantic vs. aromantic discussion threads from circa 2012.

Oh thank you, that's super useful! I've mulled it over so often as I'm sure a lot of people here have so it's definitely helpful to have some more input on it all. ✨

[Lichley]

Welcome! Hello from Gatport Airwick, nice to see another person nearby  

[Awkward Ace-Cream]

8 hours ago, Lichley said:

Welcome! Hello from Gatport Airwick, nice to see another person nearby  

!!!

👋👋👋

[Lichley]

3 hours ago, Awkward Ace-Cream said:

!!!

👋👋👋

👋👋👋

[Awkward Ace-Cream]

6 hours ago, Lichley said:

👋👋👋

👋😆👍

Do you live right near the airport then or were you passing through at the time?

I live in the middle of nowhere but this is fine, I'd probably PERISH if I was somewhere noisier 😵‍💫😆 Gatwick must be noisy?

[Lichley]

15 hours ago, Awkward Ace-Cream said:

👋😆👍

Do you live right near the airport then or were you passing through at the time?

I live in the middle of nowhere but this is fine, I'd probably PERISH if I was somewhere noisier 😵‍💫😆 Gatwick must be noisy?

 I live in one of the small commuter towns right next to the airport, no one has really heard of it so it’s easier just to say Gatwick. Thankfully not under any flight paths, though if the second runway got added I would’ve been just up the road from the runway. Since it’s a small town it’s nice and peaceful though, lots of small woodland areas and stuff, even saw a few deer out here once.

[kingscross]

Welcome! I've done a lot of roleplaying and fanfiction writing in my time. Dare I ask what fandoms you're in?

[Calliers]

7 hours ago, Lichley said:

 I live in one of the small commuter towns right next to the airport, no one has really heard of it so it’s easier just to say Gatwick. Thankfully not under any flight paths, though if the second runway got added I would’ve been just up the road from the runway. Since it’s a small town it’s nice and peaceful though, lots of small woodland areas and stuff, even saw a few deer out here once.

Now that is cool.... I live close to the airport in my city too!

 

It is so cool seeing all the jets and other planes and helicopters go overhead from time to time, especially when they're coming in to land.

 

Also, welcome to AVEN to the OP! 🍰 🧁 🍰

[Awkward Ace-Cream]

On 5/19/2022 at 11:33 PM, Lichley said:

 I live in one of the small commuter towns right next to the airport, no one has really heard of it so it’s easier just to say Gatwick. Thankfully not under any flight paths, though if the second runway got added I would’ve been just up the road from the runway. Since it’s a small town it’s nice and peaceful though, lots of small woodland areas and stuff, even saw a few deer out here once.

I know that feel to a degree; I live out in the sticks so it's way easier to just say I live in the nearest town than to go off on one explaining that it is 2 buses from X or y then you take a left at a haunted willow then blabla............

Where you live sounds pretty nice! ✨ As long as the deer are nice polite citizen deer ofc 😁

 

On 5/20/2022 at 3:19 AM, kingscross said:

Welcome! I've done a lot of roleplaying and fanfiction writing in my time. Dare I ask what fandoms you're in?

With the RP, I started off in Yu-Gi-Oh, then Silent Hill, I dabbled in Star Trek for a while then ended up in the Vocaloid fandom which has been the worst & best thing to be into at the same time 😆 The fanfic more or less the same fandoms but with the addition of Ghostbusters. Yourself? :3

 

[Lichley]

On 5/26/2022 at 5:38 PM, Awkward Ace-Cream said:

As long as the deer are nice polite citizen deer ofc

They run for the hills the moment you spot them, hard to even get a picture unfortunately. The babies are super cute though!