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Dr. Phil's Tuesday show


StHemingway

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StHemingway

I normally do not watch Dr. Phil but i couldnt pull myself off the damn chair today. So, i watched his show, including a segment on a young girl who thinks that kissing is disgusting.

http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/804/

Scroll down to the third story. What do you guys think. Budding asexual or not? I'm almost in agreement with how Dr. Phil handled the situation. Instead of emphasizing that there is indeed something wrong with thinkining kissing is gross, he raises the point of whether or not her parents were physically affectionate with her.

On the other hand, i wish he couldve slipped in--even if meant in jest--that there is nothing wrong with thinking kissing is gross. Most people feel that way at some point in their lives.




2014 Mod Edit: While I couldn't find the video, this is the summary the websites makes, for future reference:


Ask Dr Phil and Robin - 19 June 2007
"Why Don't I Like Kissing?"

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"Dr. Phil and Robin, I'm 20 years old, and I can't stand physical affection from guys," Danette says. "I dread kissing and even hand-holding. It feels uncomfortable, awkward and scary. The first time I kissed a guy, he stuck his tongue in my mouth! I definitely did not see that coming and I really don't see what people get out of that. I had a boyfriend who was great, but kissing him was just straight-out gross. After two months of no touching, we called it quits.

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"I feel like I'm going to be alone the rest of my life if I keep this up. I don't quite get it myself why human beings seem to need it, and I'm the only one who's like, why? Dr. Phil and Robin, what can I do to get rid of this anxiety and finally embrace affection?"

"Don't think you're alone in this because a lot of people feel this way," Dr. Phil tells Danette. "Have you always felt that way?"

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"In high school, I wasn't exactly one of the popular girls or anything, so when finally there was a guy willing at least to go out with me, I was excited. Then, once I experienced it, I was like, ‘This is what people have been excited about this whole time?'"

"So what did you do after that first kiss?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Well, I was more stunned than anything," she says.

"You said you wanted to bite it off," he says.

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"Kind of," Danette admits.

"Listen, everybody is different. There are individual differences," Dr. Phil says. "We asked you what major events were in your life and every one of them was cerebral. You said graduating high school, business club, scholarships, all of these things that have to do with thinking. None of them were feeling oriented. You said your mom was affectionate, but not a lot." Dr. Phil also points out that her father used to poke and tickle her, rather than hug her. "If you have cuddly parents, then you get used to physical contact, but when you don't, then maybe you don't get as much."

"They were definitely cuddly when I was a kid. My mom and I are very close. My mom is my best friend. Her, I'm really able to open up to emotionally," she says.

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"You said, "I want to be more comfortable with that because I think it's not normal for me.' And my definition of normal is whether or not something you're doing or not doing is disrupting your life and the pursuit of what you want," Dr. Phil says. "And probably what's happened right now is you've got some anxiety associated with it because now you're worried about it. You think about it. "Is it going to happen? Is somebody going to violate my personal space?' And so you've now got some anticipatory anxiety about it, and there are some ways to diminish that and start behaving your way into a very comfortable level with intimacy, and that is something that, interestingly enough, can probably happen in a very short period of time if you're guided through getting desensitized to it by a professional. And I would be more than happy to arrange that for you, and it would probably only take you a few weeks. This could be something that really disrupted your life that could actually be resolved in a very short period of time. Would you like me to do that?"

"Yes," she says.

"There's not, like, something big wrong with you. You just haven't practiced this enough and now you've gotten kind of focused on it, and we'll ease that for you," Dr. Phil tells her

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Whoa I totally just saw that today.

I thought the same thing. It made me sad that she thought she was damaged. :(

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Well... she might be asexual & she might just think kissing is gross... anyway... some people kiss gross... I mean, some people kiss nice, and some people kiss absolutely gross... it's like that big dog Stephen King wrote all about -- Cujo! -- jumping up and slobbering all over yah with drool -- yuck!

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funaladanaly

Dr. Phil seemed pretty decent. I liked how his definition of normal included that if you're okay with it, you're normal.

Just because you don't like to kiss doesn't mean you aren't normal, as long as you're okay with it. This girl has anxieties though. I know what she is going through. I used to have anxiety with my last boyfriend always wondering if I needed to take another step, if you will, that night. (my steps were things like hand holding, leaning against him with a pillow, etc).

I tried being coaxed into intimacy stuff and didn't like it. Now you know what? I'm okay with not having it! I'm perfectly okay with not dating. I've actually become happier now that I don't have to worry about the pressures of touch that come with having a boyfriend.

If I can find an asexual guy, great. However, if I can't date a guy on my terms (meaning he doesn't touch me much), then I'm not going to date. I don't need a guy.

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I don't know. I am biased against Dr. Phil in general. But my other problem with this is that it's a stock answer.

I was forced into going to a shrink as well. The woman openly admitted she had never encountered asexuality, yet on the first visit, literally before I said one single word, she described me as having the same sort of anxiety problems that Dr. Phil is talking about in this transcript. It seems like that's the stock response to an asexual.

So I'm skeptical to say the least. But hey, if this girl wants help, then she should get it. I didn't want it so I said so and that was that. I have a hunch though that this girl would be amazed if she found AVEN. For me, it seemed like a depressing end to her story.

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