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Is it possible to know your asexual without ever being in a relationship


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Kinda outing myself here i guess. Anyways is it possible or you know, am I just weird? 

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Trans Aroace Girl

I've never been in a relationship. I don't need to be to know I'm not into anyone that way.

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Fraggle Underdark

Sure. A ton of people identify as being heterosexual without ever trying a homosexual relationship.

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everywhere and nowhere

I'm not an anti-relationship person, but I'm absolutely an anti-sex person: sex is something I just couldn't do and I don't have to "give it a try" (which is impossible anyway) to know that sex is an activity in regard to which I experience the polar opposite of desire.

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15 minutes ago, Sydney123 said:

Kinda outing myself here i guess. Anyways is it possible or you know, am I just weird? 

Yes, it is possible to know without having been in a relationship. You are not weird. :)

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The Abhorred

I always found not being in a relationship, not dating, not finding someone attractive as a normal thing for meself. The few, very few times, I liked someone enough so to want to try these things, then I would feel weird and out of place. 

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TheMostColorfullBlobs
20 minutes ago, Sydney123 said:

Kinda outing myself here i guess. Anyways is it possible or you know, am I just weird? 

Yes you can be ace even without trying to be in a relationship 

 

I’m in a relationship but I’m still ace, I’m sexually repulsed and i rarely feel romantic attraction. 

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Janus the Fox

I knew years before being in a relationship, which is also asexual.

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Is it possible to know you don't want to be a doctor before going to med school? Yes, yes it is.

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Yeah of course, you can't say that f you haven't tried it you can't know, you know you don't want to hug a cactus, but you've never tried.

 

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Never been in a relationship, and I've known I was ace since I was 11

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I always had an inkling that I might be ace, but trying some very light dating really drove it home for me. When other people develop sexual attraction for me it's uncomfortable - I could still be demi but in that case I likely need an extremely close bond. So I'm going off the assumption that I'm a repulsed ace, as that'll help me not get into doomed relationships.

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Thujaplicata
On 4/19/2022 at 12:45 PM, Lord Revan said:

Yeah of course, you can't say that f you haven't tried it you can't know, you know you don't want to hug a cactus, but you've never tried.

 

I love that meme! 

 

To answer the question, yes of course!

It is harder, in my opinion, to be aware of an absence than a presence. How do I know I've never felt sexual attraction I'd I have no clue what it feels like? For me, identifying aesthetic attraction and realizing that for all she's pretty, I've got the same admiration for a particularly lovely rhododendron was enough to be sure. 

 

Then I had to figure out if I was aromantic and that was trickier. I had to ask myself "so I'm ace, now what? What do I want out of life?" 

 

I'm quite content at the moment actually. 

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banana monkey

Yep. I think I knew before I was in a relationship (and I dont know if the relationship I was in was a romantic relationship anyway) but I also am open to it changing because I always bear in mind that I could be demi. I think that is very unlikely but it did happen in the case of romanticism I think. I identified as aromantic for years and then had feelings which completely surprised me given that they took 5 - 6 years to develop! I dont think we ever managed to get as far as a close romantic bond though, so if I ever get that far with anyone else I could be demi, we will see. 

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Sydney123
On 4/19/2022 at 10:30 AM, fuzzipueo said:

Yes, it is possible to know without having been in a relationship. You are not weird. :)

Thank you 😁 Although I am pretty weird, why I put milk in before my cereal!

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On 5/9/2022 at 3:22 AM, Sydney123 said:

I am pretty weird, why I put milk in before my cereal!

I'm weirder than that. I eat dry cereal, and after each bite I take a sip of milk from a glass. I can't have them mixed in the bowl. 😅

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I would say it's valid, why else would you be totally apathetic to relationships???

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Not wanting sex is a physical/emotional/total-body thing.  It has nothing to do with wanting or not wanting to be in a relationship, or feeling romantic about someone.  I was in a marriage, and then a long-time loving romantic relationship, and I never at any time wanted sex.  

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inactiveaccountdnd

Being asexual has to do with sexual attraction, or rather lack of sexual attraction. You don't need "experience" or a relationship to know if you feel or don't feel it. 

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Upsettispaghetti

Oh my gosh yes! I figured out i was ace a bit over a year ago and at the time i wasn't dating anyone. Sure, maybe when/if you start dating someone you'll feel different, but yes!!! It is 100% possible to figure out if you're ace if you're not in a relationship :))

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On 4/19/2022 at 8:13 AM, Sydney123 said:

Kinda outing myself here i guess. Anyways is it possible or you know, am I just weird? 

I mean... One can be Gay/Pan/Trans/Lesbian/Bi without dating anyone. I would assume it would also work that way for Asexuality 

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On 19.04.2022 at 17:34, The Abhorred said:

Bir ilişki yaşamamayı, flört etmemeyi, birini çekici bulmamayı her zaman normal bir şey olarak görmüşümdür. Birkaç, çok az kez, birini bu şeyleri denemek isteyecek kadar sevdim, o zaman kendimi garip ve yersiz hissederdim. 

I can't flirt with anyone either. I want to establish physical relationships with people beyond emotional bonds, even I force myself, but I feel bad and I give up. That's why I haven't got anyone in my life yet.  How do you overcome emotional deficiency? How do you deal with it?

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The Abhorred
19 hours ago, LİLYAA said:

I can't flirt with anyone either. I want to establish physical relationships with people beyond emotional bonds, even I force myself, but I feel bad and I give up. That's why I haven't got anyone in my life yet.  How do you overcome emotional deficiency? How do you deal with it?

This is not so easy to answer. Is hard to explain how you can experience loneliness as a schizoid. I'm someone who rarely experience emotions, apathetic, extreme loner. ermm for me my way out is fantasy and daydreaming. In my head I have everything I need. I never really had any kind of emotional support in real life anyways.


The past few years I'm doing therapy and there you suppose to learn how to rely on someone who is going to be there for you when you need them. Learn how to communicate with others, speak about your needs. In the midtime I use my imagination for whatever I need and booze. ¯\(°_o)/¯

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55 minutes ago, The Abhorred said:

Buna cevap vermek o kadar kolay değil. Bir şizoid olarak yalnızlığı nasıl yaşayabileceğinizi açıklamak zor. Duyguları nadiren yaşayan, kayıtsız, aşırı yalnız biriyim. ermm benim için çıkış yolum fantezi ve hayal kurmaktır. Kafamda ihtiyacım olan her şey var. Zaten gerçek hayatta hiçbir zaman herhangi bir duygusal destek almadım.


Son birkaç yıldır terapi yapıyorum ve orada ihtiyacınız olduğunda yanınızda olacak birine nasıl güveneceğinizi öğrenmeniz gerekiyor. Başkalarıyla nasıl iletişim kuracağınızı öğrenin, ihtiyaçlarınız hakkında konuşun. Arada, ihtiyacım olan her şey için hayal gücümü kullanıyorum ve içki içiyorum. ¯\(°_o)/¯

Thank you for taking your time and answering my question. 

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BeADreamer

I started identifying as ace when I was 18.

 

I knew I wasn’t experiencing the same feelings as my friends starting at age 11, I just didn’t have the language for it.

 

I had my first relationship at 22 - and it changed nothing about me identifying as ace. 
 

So yes, you can know you’re ace whether or not you’ve ever had a relationship.

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The Abhorred
On 5/20/2022 at 10:48 PM, LİLYAA said:

Thank you for taking your time and answering my question. 

No problem :) I wish I was more helpful but I'm not doing very well.

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