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therehasgottobeananswer


Therehasgottobeananswer

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Therehasgottobeananswer

I have not been sexually active with my wife for 8 months but I cant stop looking at porn and masturbating. I almost cant focus on life because Im always checking out women and thinking what it would be like to have intercourse with them. I dont want a relationship with them and I dont have a desire to make any attempt to have intercourse with them because I think well I have a woman to fulfill my needs who is ready and willing I just dont have a desire to be with her. I am physically faithful to my wife, I love her very much , but I just dont understand why I want to check out every other woman but the one I have.

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Wolf X Omega

Eh, I'll tell you what any psychologist would tell you, Reivent your sex life, try to be wild, be radical!

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Hallucigenia

There are some asexuals who look at pornography and masturbate, but it's my impression that even these asexuals don't check out women and imagine themselves having intercourse with them - they aren't putting themselves in that position, even when they look at sexually explicit material. So it doesn't sound like you're asexual.

I don't know enough about sexuality to give you a definitive answer. But have you considered that you may be suffering from pornography addiction?

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Might it be that you are the explorer variant of a sexual only interested in the unknown?

I also fear that you 're silencing emotions and gutt decisions with rational thoughts. From my own experience I know that sexual attraction can fade during everyday life. Once it's gone it's probably hard to get it back. - I didn't try that. There are people who manage to project phantasies on their partners, but if that's ethically correct is another question.

Only suggestions I can offer: Break out of your current state, if it doesn't make you happy. Try to figure out what made you lose the attraction towards your wife and what part of porn and other stuff is attractive for you. Prepare yourself to become able to talk about it. - No, not to me!, but maybe to a counselor and surely someday to your wife. - Good luck.

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Therehasgottobeananswer

I cant thank you all enough for your support. I'm really scared of loosing control of my life in all areas. :cry: I left my wife 4 months ago and have been seeing a therapist for the past 4 months. This issue has just come to surface about 3 weeks ago . My wife and I are seeking family counciling along with personal counciling. We have only been married 8 months. We have been living togather for 11 years. She is not taking this issue very well and has removed her rings. I dont expect to find the answers here but maybe just some input and direction will guide me to the right frame of mind. I rationalise how I think by saying how can wanting erotic fantasies and beautiful women be a bad thing when there is so much violence and hate in this world. I do see how my thoughts and actions are effecting those that I love in a bad way. I just dont know how to keep the erotic thoughts centered on one individual.My wife. I see physical flaws in my wife that I dont see in others. Yet I know emotionally my wife is the best thing that ever entered my life.

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Perhaps it's all some strange phase in your life. I know that some people who are asexual now weren't always that way. It just happened to them. Similarly, some people who were asexual suddenly "turned" sexual. And sometimes people are asexual for just a period in their lives. I don't know how or why it happens but maybe your situation is similar. Maybe, for some unknown reason, you are suddenly over-sexual and want to have sex all the time and maybe you'll go back to normal.

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Therehasgottobeananswer

Thank you Mith. That is what is causing my head to spin . I want sex all the time but I havent had it in 8 months.

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You're a man, no, you're a Human. If you're a sexual person, it's completely natural to find members of the opposite sex attractive, wheather you are married or not. That fact that you don't want to persue those attractions shows that you are in a committed marriage that is working for you.

As for not having sex with you wife, are you thinking you might be asexual? If not, turn the porn off. It may be hard (no pun intended) but it will more than likely make having sex with you wife more intimate and more wanted.

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