EGAD! Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 According to psychologists we usually have our first crush around age 10, I believe. So just wondering for the asexuals when did you have your first crush, or have you ever had a crush on anyone? I myself have only had one crush where it has boardered on sexual attraction around the age of 18. Link to post Share on other sites
--- Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I'm not really sure as I don't know what exactly qualifies as a crush. I might have had crushes as young as 8, but I know that I only really noticed girls in a sort of 'wow, she's lovely' way (sorry, I'm not good at articulating my emotions) when I was 14. It came very suddenly and it was quite a shock at the time. Link to post Share on other sites
jewel_box554 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I was 15 when I had my first crush. I've only had one other one since then and I've been crush-free for almost 2 years now. Link to post Share on other sites
Zealous Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I had one at 13. Then another late in the age of 14. I just went through three in the last year before beginning to identify as asexual. I know that sounds weird, but it was having those three that made me realize it. So, I just say, to and for all, "Whatever bloats your goat." Link to post Share on other sites
retrophile Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 In kindergarten I pretended to think boys were cute because all the other girls were doing it. Then my "boyfriend" and his best friend forcibly French-kissed me and I gave it up. :oops: I'm not sure if I've ever had a proper crush. I've certainly never played the whole courtship game, not the way it happens in movies, anyway. The way my current b/f and I hooked up is this: Him: So can I start telling people you're my girlfriend? Me: Sure. Can I start telling people you're my boyfriend. Him: Sure. Me: Good, because I already have been. Yeah. Link to post Share on other sites
ily Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 My first crush was age 10 or 11, but I don't remember anything sexual about it...he invited me to play handball with his friends and I think I was just psyched about being included. :roll: Link to post Share on other sites
spinneret Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Well, when I was 2 I fell head over heels for a little boy in my Mom's Morning Out type community daycare :lol: I picked up another one in preschool. And when I met my elementary school best friend at age 4, it was definitely a "crush" moment. There was usually a boy I thought was "cute" or a girl I worshipped to some degree. Fast forward, and I've got a few crushes I'm nursing right now. So basically I get crushes all the damn time and have since I was tiny. They all have about the same blushing-adoration-from-afar quality, and I've never followed through on any of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Parth Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 The only crush I ever had was an innocent 11 year old crush on a boy that smiled at me. But it wasn't even a little bit sexual. I think I just wanted a crush to be like the other girls. I watched him when he walked past and pretended to swoon, and that was the furthest it went. :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Muddles Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 According to psychologists we usually have our first crush around age 10, I believe. Ten years old?? I find it hard to comprehend how young children can form extra special attachments to people (ie crushes). I also have never even understood how most teenagers start dating in high school. (Yes, dating is different, but related). It doesn't really feel right that most teenagers are mature enough for 'real adult loving relationships'. :| Anyway, I didn't really start having crushes until I was 20 onwards (crushes as in adoring admiration). Link to post Share on other sites
Doamis Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 No crushes for me...yet. I get the odd friendship crush when I click with someone, but not the get-into-a-relationship type of crush. Link to post Share on other sites
bbctv Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 when i was 22-23, i sort of fell in love with a close friend, so it probably went well beyond crush. and then she left for a job somewhere far away and i ended up having some sort of severe mania phase and psychotic episode. separation from someone you're close to is a sometimes trigger of that. plus, having never been innoculated against disapointment while younger, and having also realized that i'd probably blown it myself, it didn't help. all said, it's probably best to get that out of your system early, so you can know you'll surive. Link to post Share on other sites
birdnerd Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I think I was about ten. I don't get them anymore. They seem to have stopped when I was in high school. Link to post Share on other sites
Shortass Lady Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I remember fancying a boy in primary school when I was about 6/7, but actual crushes (like when you can hardly get someone out of your head for weeks/months on end and other 'symptoms') didn't start til age 17. Link to post Share on other sites
Hallucigenia Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Sexual here, didn't vote. I already picked out the boy I was going to marry when I was in kindergarden. Then in grade 1, I totally forgot about him and found a different boy I was going to marry. And then in grade 2... :roll: Lather, rinse, repeat. I'm a total slut. I didn't get an intense crush until I was 12, though. And I didn't get a sexual crush until 13 or so, although I knew I was sexual from the time I was 10 or 11 - I just wasn't really attracted to specific people until then. Link to post Share on other sites
EGAD! Posted May 10, 2007 Author Share Posted May 10, 2007 According to psychologists we usually have our first crush around age 10, I believe. Ten years old?? I find it hard to comprehend how young children can form extra special attachments to people (ie crushes). I also have never even understood how most teenagers start dating in high school. (Yes, dating is different, but related). It doesn't really feel right that most teenagers are mature enough for 'real adult loving relationships'. :| Anyway, I didn't really start having crushes until I was 20 onwards (crushes as in adoring admiration). For me I think it is about expectations. In the U.S. many adults have that same opinion that teenagers can't form deep, long lasting relationships. Whereas in the Netherlands I've heard about the opposite. However given that I have only read about this and have no actual experience with this to confirm this and no personal accounts from anyone to verify this I hesitate to strongly back this claim. Last term I took developmental psychology so I'm pretty sure the age I give for when psychologists say we have our first crush is correct. Perhaps that is the average age, meaning half have them earlier and half have them later or so and when averaged equal 10 (plus or minus 1)? Link to post Share on other sites
M51 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Always being a tomboy, I had many male friends. but the first one I could call a crush was in first grade. As in watch/admire from a far and get nervous when talking to him, and want to be close/cuddle with him. I was never nervous talking to my male friends, so I know my crushes were different. I pretty much had a different crush each grade, like Hallu. Then in fourth/fifth grade I went through a brief phase where I crushed on grown men (I hope that is not creepy; I never acted on it). Then around fifth/sixth grade people began dating. One of my male friends and I decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend, because everyone else was doing it, but we were really still just friends until HE got a crush on another girl and dumped me for her. 7th grade I started crushing on people my own age again, pretty much on a regular basis. Unfortunately any time I actually got together with a crush he would pressure me sexually and I would dump him. At age 20-22 I had no crushes. It was the first time I thought maybe I was asexual, and I think also my first aromantic period. The next crush was that unfortunate matter that turned into an ex-husband, but I continued having crushes after the marriage ended until last fall. Then suddenly it all turned off. I think I am in another aromantic phase, or maybe I've turned permanently off. I don't know. It seems to be a more intensely a-romantic phase than the first one, because when I look at couples now I get that alien feeling, like "why would anyone want to do that?", similar to the alien feeling I get when I hear people talking about sex. I still want to cuddle, though. Just no strings attached cuddling. Strange. Link to post Share on other sites
helana12_03 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 "over 20 years of age". When I was 21 to be exact. Link to post Share on other sites
Amcan Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I've never had one that I've been aware of... Link to post Share on other sites
funaladanaly Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Only guy I ever had a crush on was when I was 22 and met him online through a friend. I talked to him a lot, and really liked him. It was the only time I felt that giddiness that I hear comes with a crush. Shortly before he was coming to visit, the initial honeymoon period ended before I even met him in real life. He was at a new years party with me, put his arm around me, and I was thinking - get me out of here. I never felt that giddiness again, though there have been two guys I thought I had potential with. One wasn't interested though, so I backed off feeling more embarrased than devestated (which leads me to believe I didn't really have a crush on him, more like felt since everyone else had been dating, there must be something wrong with me that I wasn't.) Second guy I really cared about and even love, though its more of a family or friend sort of love than romantic love I've come to realize. If not for me being asexual, I no doubt would have married him. So interestingly enough, there has only been one guy I've ever had a crush on. Someone I envisioned kissing once, though envisioning and doing are two completely different things. After my first kiss at the age of 25, I never ever want to kiss someone on the lips again. Ew! It still gives me the creeps. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Never had a crush on anyone, ever, unless you include non-serious playing/fooling 'crushes' when I was very young. Link to post Share on other sites
Octarine Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Aromantic, so no crushes. I actually had no idea what a crush entailed until late middle school. And then I thought I had crushes on certain fictional characters.... But I didn't. I just liked them a lot. (But telling my friends I had crushes definitely sped me along the "finding out you're asexual" path) Link to post Share on other sites
Display Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I fell in love with a girl, in the emotional sense of the word, in 8th grade. I only got over her this year. Link to post Share on other sites
Mith Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 The first crush I ever had was on a boy named Jimmy Thompson when I was nine. He's in my grade in school and was in my class in fourth grade. It's kind of funny, I never really had a crush on John Travolta but I liked him when I was little but I had a crush on Jimmy who looks like John Travolta. I guess Jimmy's a promising football player so in case he becomes some bigshot (like he is locally, I live in a small town), then you'll all know who I first fell for. :lol: Many of my crushes are aesthetically based. Basically, I just like a lot of people because they're pretty. But then I can't be friends with those people. It just feels strange when I talk to someone I find attractive. Right now, I have a friend that I found attractive before I talked to him and it feels kind of awkward when we're together. Or that could be because I'm pretty sure he likes me. That would explain while I feel especially odd. Other people, though, I become friends with and begin to like them. Then, after I get over them I can still be good friends with them. Still, the only person I ever dated I never had a crush on. I just don't think it would work out if I dated someone I actually liked. Link to post Share on other sites
pinten Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I'm still not entirely sure exactly what a crush entails, but I'm pretty sure I had one on this guy all through high school. I've never had one as intense as that one, and I realize now when I start "crushing" on someone, it means I want to become really good friends with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Frigid Pink Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 I believe I was either 17 or 18. Link to post Share on other sites
EGAD! Posted May 11, 2007 Author Share Posted May 11, 2007 Suppose it might have been a little useful to supply some sort of a definition for what a crush is. I believe all of us know know what it is but I think at times it is just casually flung around to the point that it doesn't mean much of anything. So a very technical definition: an intense but usually short-lived infatuation. :roll: And I found something I could site in my developmental psychology text book in support of what I said in my first post. "Gilbert Herdt and Martha McClintock (2000) have gathered evidence that age 10 is an important point in sexual development, a time when many boys and girls experience their first sexual attraction. This milestone in development appears to be influenced by the maturation of the adrenal glands. It comes well before the maturation of the sex organs during puberty and therfore challenges the view of Freud that puberty is the critical time in sexual development." Link to post Share on other sites
Revenge of Rain Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 I'm sexual, but... the first I had was in 5th grade, so I guess I was around 11, and it wasn't sexual. I think I 'became' sexual 2 years later. Link to post Share on other sites
Hpets Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 I was fifteen or sixteen when I suddenly realized that I had a crush on one of my friends. I was super-happy about it, even though I never pursued it in the least. A few years later I found out that said friend was gay. My initial thought was disappointment, but only because I felt that he should've trusted me enough as a friend to have told me sooner. The only crush that I've had since then is my boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
LonePiper Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 Yeah, about 15 or 16 here as well. A girl at my school. pretty typical Link to post Share on other sites
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