When did you realize you were ace ?

[Lord Revan]

When did you first find out that you were ace. I was 13.

[kashfy]

I was past 16 when i realized it but i waited till 17 to conform it..so 17 for me..

[Boondocks Paradox]

Just recently actually - two months ago. I'm 29 years young btw 😅

[Ginger Lilly]

The moment I heard about asexuality for the first time at 16. I doubted it a little some times but now I’m 100% sure I’m ace

[Deltalorian]

I was 16, and when I realised I was ace, the realisation took about a week for so many different "oh that explains that" moments to happen 1000 times over.

[XDoge]

When I was 19.

I just couldn't understand why I didn't have the urge to have sex with my first girlfriend, and my self-esteem slowly descended into the depths of the earth. When I couldn't take it anymore, I broke up with her and the first thing I did when I got back to my appartment was google something along the lines of "Why don't I want to have sex?"

AVEN was the first thing to pop up, and here we are today. I honestly wish this happened earlier, but welp, life isn't perfect.

[Morays]

I was 23 when I finally started the research that took me to AVEN and brought me to accept myself, but I'd known that sex wasn't in the cards for me since at least 15.

[Janus the Fox]

Abut 24, over 10 years ago, after decent straight sex and LGBT sex-ed in college and not relating to any of it.  This eventually started a long journey, a long time being in the doctors checking for things, eventually being diagnosed with so much stuff as well.  At no point earlier I’d ever realised something was different with sexuality, romance or gender and wrong or being quite unwell. 

[Guest]

I guess I knew I didn't want to hold hands, kiss, or just be in that kind of relationship for a while, but it was 14 where I learned there was an actual word for that.

[Blueberry Pie]

14, I think. I'm 20 now. 

[teetojen]

I was 20 (maybe 4 months shy of my 21st birthday). I saw an article that someone retweeted on Twitter about asexual allies and read it. That's when I first heard the term and what it means.

I'm now 22 and will celebrate my "ace-iversary" in October haha

 

Edit/Update: I never felt attracted to anyone and knew that, but just thought I hadn't met the right person. I went through all 4 years of high school and over 2 years of undergrad before realizing I'm ace. Once I learned about asexuality, I learned more about the community and other communities, such as the aro community, and found myself aligning with them as well

[SithLord]

I was 17 when I started questioning, I'm pretty sure (it was close to when I'd turn 18). I was 18 or 19 when I settled on the label and I've stayed with it since.

[StarryNightAllAlone]

I was 13.

[Purple Red Panda]

A couple of years ago at age 39. It didn't exactly come as a massive surprise.

[Anomaly Q3Xr]

I have always known that I had no interest in sex, but was around 30-32 when I found that asexuality was a thing.

[Sam Spade]

I was 18 when I realized that people are actually attracted to each other 

[Phalena]

Started to wonder about it as early as twelve years old. Concluded with: Nah, I'm just young.

Age 14: Nah, still young.

Age 16: Maybe I'm just a late bloomer.

Age 18: Any moment now!

Age 19: Is something wrong? *Gets hormones checked. Everything fine*.

Age 20: Yeah, guess I'm just ace. But maybe that doesn't exist. *Googles 'asexuality'*. Oh! It exists... ... Well this wasn't a plot twist.

Age 24: Still ace.

 

 

 

[Bozi]

On November 5, 2021, I was 13 at the time, My 14th birthday was the next week.

[Slajmy]

Too late. Traumatized myself for life trying to be like everybody else, normal of whatever they call it. Known for about ten years now that I'm asexual and aromantic and repulsed by both. 

[Marrow_]

Over the pandemic! I was 16 and begining to wonder why all of my friends had expressed sexual intrest in others when I had not. 

[Sarah-Sylvia]

It's an interesting question to see how it was for different people.

I'm gray-ace, but I can still try to answer :P. It wasn't that simple really.
I was in my early adulthood when I started questioning, that's when I joined the forum too. I don't know exactly what I thought, I think I was a bit confused about it back then.
Then later on, I felt like I'm probably not ace because I got back interest in sex and I figured it was maybe because of my depression and questioning my gender that I thought maybe I was ace somehow.

It wasn't until later, like 3-4 years ago? around when I chatted more online, that I got more and more annoyed with how sexual people were. I got back on the forum kind of back questioning my sexuality, not to mention my orientation in general was shifting. When I started hrt and lost most of my libido, I didn't feel like I was missing much or anything, and if anything it let me focus more on other sides of orientation, and see that I'm not really sexual, and romance and sensuality is really what it's about for me. Gray ace makes the most sense since I have been interested in sexuality, even if it doesn't have big meaning to me.

So.. I guess it would be around 30 somewhere.

[Artemis42]

For me it was less like one realization and more of a gradual process of questioning and accepting. I started questioning when I was 15, and from there it was months of research, introspection, and trying out different labels. In a way I think I’m still processing it now, but I feel much more confident about it now too. I never had a moment where everything clicked into place, I just gradually felt less unsure and anxious about it, and settled into my label(s). 

[TormentDubz]

3 hours ago, Blueberry Pie said:

14, I think. I'm 20 now. 

All this for me as well

[Blue eyes white dragon]

19 I think. I came across some pins (right before I turned 19) that described different types of attraction and it clicked with me then I saw a similar one but talked about asexuality and was like "yes! Wait maybe not because I want* to get sexual with this guy and already did" so I pushed it away and forced to think I was demi. Things progressed with said guy and was struggling with cognitive dissonance because I thought I wanted sex but had to force myself actually want it (also was manipulated and taken advantage of) so I finally cut him out and started researching my feelings and then came across those same ace pins which lead me to research asexuality and to her and I finally accepted that's who I am.

 

*did not actually want it, comp het+purity culture+hypersexual society pushed onto me to think I wanted it and generally was not a good mix

[Milque Toast]

I joined AVEN when I was 14, but I think I was comfortable with the label 'asexual' a little before that as well.

[MoraDollie]

Sometime in my 20s. I had heard the label before that in my teen years but didn't really think anything of it until I really started looking at myself and my own history and what not. I'm also an OSDD system though so it's kinda complicated, lol. 

[a little annihilation]

when I was 16

[alto]

I started questioning when I was seventeen and knew when I was eighteen.

[DanM27]

I’ve always kinda known. I used to wonder why people used to talk about sex all the time when I wasn’t interested in it at all. I discovered the term asexual a few years ago but I realised in January I was completely asexual. I’ve just turned 32. Sadly I actually have had sex with someone and now I wish I hadn’t. Looking back now I didn’t enjoy it and I was just doing it to please my girlfriend. In fact, I struggled a lot with sex with the person and I attribute it to my asexuality. Give me food, video games, animals and travelling and loads of other stuff over sex any day 

[Since]

6 hours ago, Sam Spade said:

I was 18 when I realized that people are actually attracted to each other 

This is so me. I think I'm still getting my mind around the idea 🤣