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aconversationalist


juicebox

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Haha, cool term. I'm like that, except that it's really social anxiety.

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At the risk of sounding a-sexist (and I'm not)

an A conversationalist male and an asexual female are the perfect match.... just agree with everything she says!

(i'll get me coat :oops: )

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Kawaii_Neko
an A conversationalist male and an asexual female are the perfect match.... just agree with everything she says!

Damn skippy! :wink: :lol:

I do know that 'asexuals' can be either male or female, but it seems like (on this board at least), most asexuals are females.

I think this might be because it's not quite as stigmatizing for females to "come out" as males. Our society has very strict ideas over how a male should behave, especially when it comes to liking or participating in sex. Breaking that taboo, so to speak, can be very difficult for many guys to do. Females on the other hand have had excuses/lables (such as being frigid, ice queen, etc.) assigned that allowed an escape route. Not to mention, it's still considered socially ill-mannered for a woman to confess to being highly sexual. And because asexuality isn't as commonly known to the general public yet, many guys probably don't know what to think about themselves, let alone where to find support.

As far as a successful marriage, well it's a complicated issue. Some A/S couples theoretically have made it work, but it takes compromise and a lot of love.

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I think an aconversationalist and a conversationalist have a better chance than an asexual and a sexual, actually. As long as the conversationalist isn't a compulsive talker (as they can drive the shit out of EVERYone!) and the aconversationalist doesn't mind of the conversationalist spends more time on the phone or out with friends.

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It depends. Do you mean you're not much of an initiater of conversations? Basically you don't often bring up the topic of conversation?

Or is it that you actively avoid conversation and walk away before a conversation is done from boredom etc.?

Communication is a big thing in a relationship. I think without that you wouldn't really feel like you knew a person all that well if they kept themself to themself it would feel like there's a distance between you. However there's a difference between not being much of a talker and having a serious social anxiety whereby you avoid talking.

I don't like/believe in sexist stereotyping but I did hear someone say that its common for males in a relationship to be less of a talker than the woman (in the case of a hetero relationship). Ignoring the sexist aspect, if its a 'common' thing (not always but maybe often happens) that one person is a bigger talker than the other, then I think alot of relationships probably have this factor and they work out fine so no reason why yours wouldnt. Just gotta find someone who will accept you for who/how you are.

I know people who arent much of a talker, its just their personality, but they'll listen and offer their opinion/perspective if you initiate. And they'll pitch in a topic or two when they remember something aswell. So thats where the separation between being quiet and being socially aversive is really. You can just be a good listener/responder who pitches in a topic every now and again, and that will still allow people to get to know you. But you do have to make *some* effort of course.

However on the flipside you might find that with the right person you become more of a talker. If you get close to someone you may feel more like sharing everyday stuff and that will give rise to more topics. When you don't really know someone alot of topics seem out of place or innapropriate especially if you're a private person, whereas when you're clsoe to someoneyou can open up more. I don't talk all that much unless I feel close to/trust someone.

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My dad isn't a conversationalist unless he's telling you something (and it's usually something you already know) or poking fun at someone so he's not really worth listening to.

Conveniently, my mum is deaf.

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