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Amcan

Asperger's and Asexuality

Do you have Asperger's?  

2 members have voted

This poll is closed to new votes
  1. 1.

    • Yes. I have been officially diagnosed (e.g. by a doctor). I'm asexual.
      111
    • Yes but I have never had an official diagnosis. I'm asexual.
      76
    • I think I might have it - I seem to have a few traits. I'm asexual
      200
    • I am not sure. I'm asexual.
      93
    • No. I'm asexual.
      507
    • Yes. I have been officially diagnosed (e.g. by a doctor). I'm sexual.
      4
    • Yes but I have never had an official diagnosis. I'm sexual.
      1
    • I think I might have it - I seem to have a few traits. I'm sexual
      4
    • I am not sure. I'm sexual.
      3
    • No. I'm sexual.
      17
    • Yes. I have been officially diagnosed (e.g. by a doctor). I'm questioning.
      19
    • Yes but I have never had an official diagnosis. I'm questioning.
      6
    • I think I might have it - I seem to have a few traits. I'm questioning.
      30
    • I am not sure. I'm questioning.
      11
    • No. I'm questioning.
      51


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Amcan

I am just curious about the makeup of AVEN members as it pertains to Asperger's. A higher percentage of asexuals seem to have Asperger's compared to the sexual population.

So to that end here's a detailed poll.

There are 5 possible options for asexual, sexual and questioning.

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ChildOfTheLight

How about, "No, even though I have been officially diagnosed?"

In absence of that, I simply voted for "No. I'm asexual."

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Amcan

Ack! I didn't think of that sorry ChildOfTheLight. I don't think it will let me add another 3 options.

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Adventuress Heart

Never been officially diagnosed, my dad is a possible aspie.

I've got a slightly strange case here because as I'm told I've pretty much accepted being an aspie a few years ago, to make the long story short I've gone through a great deal of trauma earlier last year and as a result of that my life has changed dramatically over a short period of time since then, that includes a lot of dissociation, amnesia .. and inability to connect with the person I was (even a few months ago when I joined AVEN)

Life is all new to me now, everything I do/learn seems to be like a fresh start. I've got a general idea of my previous life like a data log but no emotional connection with things that happened or even several family members, and another point amongst those is well.. being an Aspie.

My therapist is unable to explain how such a sudden change in personality could occur, while she has explained to me that soldiers who have returned from battle with symptoms of PTSD often feel this way, but the dramatic personality change where as my taste in everything from clothes, food, lifestyle and social interactions is somewhat extreme, therefore it's difficult for me to say I'm an aspie.

Some therapists have suggested DID, or even MPD, they haven't been ruled out, nor confirmed.

It's tough how my family describe "me" though, the only possible explanation would be that I was never an aspie.. but then I wonder why life was so "crippling" (I don't mean to offend any aspies here or anywhere) I'm merely describing the state in which "my" life was, mentally, physically and emotionally hearing about it from others, and seeing how others relate to me and treat me. I'd rather not think too much about it, there is no significance in that, feels like trying to figure out another person.

Regardless I'm embracing my asexuality and everything else that feels right day to day - it's just too bad that to most of my family I'm no longer that "ideal" person "I" was.

Sorry for the long post.

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ChildOfTheLight
Ack! I didn't think of that sorry ChildOfTheLight. I don't think it will let me add another 3 options.

Oh well...it's not like many people will be choosing that option anyway.

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tallfreak

I found out I was an Aspie after I realized that I was asexual and found this site. I was diagnosed and I told the specialist about my feeling asexual. She told me is was common for many Aspies, but because your an Aspies does not mean your Asexual. Some Aspies have obsessions with sex and therefore would not be asexual and others have very sexual lifestyle. My father who also has aspergers is very sexual. So much so that he has always had someone on the side even though he truly loved my mother. (My parents are divorced and remarried.)

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Doamis

I seem to have a fair few traits typical of AS, but I'm skeptical of self-diagnosis, and I'm unsure about whether I've always acted the way I do. I don't know how I'd go about getting a diagnosis, as I'd feel silly walking into the surgery and asking if I had Autism/AS without any warning.

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retrophile

My therapist pretty much told me that Asperger's was the reason I'm not interested in sex, and the first time I saw someone identify as asexual was on an Asperger's/autism board, so I wasn't surprised when I came here and saw so many other people who had it.

I was a very gifted but very WEIRD child and was placed in a special-ed program that turned out to be psychologically and physically (not sexually, thank god) abusive. No one at the time (this was mid-1990s) even thought of Asperger's as a cause, even though the symptoms were clear as day - lousy coordination, biting my fingers, a compulsion to collect and organize everything, in addition to my glaring social handicap. I was branded with something called "adjustment disorder" - basically my weirdness was due to a willful and defiant refusal to fit in and be a normal person. Later I was diagnosed PTSD as a result of my traumatic school experiences.

My current therapist, whom I began seeing for help with my sex phobia, diagnosed me with Asperger's at the age of 20. I felt like a new person. Knowing that my weirdness is pathological has allowed me to cast off the guilt I've felt for my inability to fit in and behave properly as a kid. It's not that I didn't want to be normal, it's that I couldn't. It was a similar rebirth experience finding this website and figuring out that I'm not a diseased sexual but a healthy asexual and that there are others like me.

I probably would've diagnosed myself eventually, but it could have taken another 20 years.

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Frigid Pink

"No. I'm asexual."

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EGAD!
Sorry for the long post.

I don't see any reason for you to apologize. Do what you need to do and say what you need to say and to heck with everyone else if they don't like it.

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Adventuress Heart
Sorry for the long post.

I don't see any reason for you to apologize. Do what you need to do and say what you need to say and to heck with everyone else if they don't like it.

Thank you, fem_1027, I really appreciate what you said. Maybe it's just the fact that I've always been taught not to complain, and that there are always people with bigger problems out there, so it tends to make me feel guilty.

But I'm happy to say that I've been figuring a lot of things out lately, just in the past few days... things are coming together, and clearing up *smile*

Thanks!

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Charlieee

I'm not sure, but I think I might. I've never talked to a doctor or anything about it (my mom'd freak :shock: ) but a lot of the traits fit me, and I always score pretty high on those online tests. Oh and I'm asexual. But it's not really important (I'd rather finish my homework than worry about whether I'm an Aspie or not :lol: ) so I probably won't know for sure :D

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Octarine
I'm not sure, but I think I might. I've never talked to a doctor or anything about it (my mom'd freak :shock: ) but a lot of the traits fit me, and I always score pretty high on those online tests. Oh and I'm asexual. But it's not really important (I'd rather finish my homework than worry about whether I'm an Aspie or not :lol: ) so I probably won't know for sure :D

Yeah, that's how I feel. Quite a few traits, but I think if I have to convince myself, I don't really have it. I say I have an "autistic personality" now. :P (I obsess over things, I have strict routines, I'm introverted but not shy, I have been known to say things then be incredibly confused when other people get offended, etc)

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retrophile
I think if I have to convince myself, I don't really have it.

Not necessarily...there is social baggage associated with being labeled "autism spectrum". When my shrink first suggested I had Asperger's I started crying because in my mind at that time, Asperger's meant autistic and autistic meant retarded, and lord knows I've spent enough years trying to convince people I'm NOT retarded. After talking with her and doing a bunch of research on my own, I learned that I am a textbook case of Asperger's, but also that none of the conclusions I had immediately leapt to were accurate. The point is, you may have it or you may not, but resisting a diagnosis that has a stigma attached is a natural reaction and it doesn't necessarily mean that diagnosis is not accurate for you.

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FelineFanatic

-

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Octarine
I think if I have to convince myself, I don't really have it.

Not necessarily...there is social baggage associated with being labeled "autism spectrum". When my shrink first suggested I had Asperger's I started crying because in my mind at that time, Asperger's meant autistic and autistic meant retarded, and lord knows I've spent enough years trying to convince people I'm NOT retarded. After talking with her and doing a bunch of research on my own, I learned that I am a textbook case of Asperger's, but also that none of the conclusions I had immediately leapt to were accurate. The point is, you may have it or you may not, but resisting a diagnosis that has a stigma attached is a natural reaction and it doesn't necessarily mean that diagnosis is not accurate for you.

Nah, the only condition I'll ever suffer from is medical student's disease. (Well, I'm not a medical student, but it's the closest diagnosis I've been able to give myself) :wink: I'm much more likely to try to apply a disease to myself to think I'm special (I don't know why I do this, I hate it and wish it would go away) than reject it because of stigma.

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reverse_thrust

I've never bothered to be diagnosed, but after years of being sent to counselors for unknown reasons and having my parents informed that I'm in the autism spectrum, there is little doubt in my mind. I fit too many of the criteria not to be in the spectrum, but I've always seemed normal from my perspective. Other people were weird.

In recent years, I started acknowledging that one of the reasons they were weird is because they were obsessed with sex. I happen to find rocks much more interesting than people.

I'm not sure there is a direct correlation there, because to my understanding I'm a bit asocial. I never really noticed that I don't fit in very easily.

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Yelsel

I'm not an aspie, I've done online tests that are pretty much clear in concluding I'm not aspie, but my eldest child, my son, is an aspie.

He is 14 and shows no interest in girls (or boys) in a sexual way. My husband is also sure he shows no interest, so this is what brought me here to find out if he was asexual (also I seem to be pretty much asexual these days and even before I thought I might be I had a low sex drive so I am kind of here for myself and husband too as he is not an asexual, but very nice and understanding).

So, anyway.. hi, I'm Lesley, aged 42, mum of three, based in the London area (UK) and I should go and introduce myself properly but found one or two other threads interesting first!

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EGAD!

By now it is very evident I have a number of traits characteristic of people with Asperger's. However I don't fit all the diagnostic criteria for Asperger's on what I feel is the technicality that at one point I have had a speech problem of unknown origin.

(At least according to my mom my speech developed normally up to a certain point and around Kindergarden I started seeing a speech therapist because the teachers couldn't understand what I was saying. I turned 6 about two months into Kindergarden so it strikes me a little odd to have something come up like this out of the blue unless my parents divorce triggered it. I think I was around 4 when it happened and I can't say when it was that it developed).

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Velcro

Heh... I'm borderline aspergers, whatever that scale t hing is I'm barely far enough on it to be considered asperger. I was suprised to see this here, dunno if my borderline aspergers has anything to do with my borderline asexuality but it'd be interesting to see... Not that I have a problem with either though my number obsession can get annoying. :shock:

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Parth

No, though every now and then I wish I did so I could have an excuse for being a weirdo.

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matt1285

The more I look into it, the more likely it is, but like Jongleur said, you'd feel a bit silly walking in asking a doctor.

typical male pride I guess :roll:

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andrew_w

I voted "I think I might have it - I seem to have a few traits. I'm asexual". I do have several traits consistent with Asperger's (a bit more so when I was younger, although I still have some). I have seen a psychiatrist, but I am not sure if I was formally diagnosed or not.

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Neabsco

I voted no, asexual.

I may exhibit a few traits associated with Asperger's, but personality traits that do not hinder me from enjoying a long, happy, self-sufficient, productive life do not qualify in my opinion as any kind of disorder.

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Mith

No, I'm just asexual. Some of the traits are similar, but I think that "schizoid personality disorder" is more fitting to me. I'm pretty much a loner and really apathetic.

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tsw

Up until today, I would have said, "nah, I'm just asexual", but as it turned out I was reading up on aspergers this afternoon, and took a test.

On the test, they mention three things in particular that I do ... like:

1. Wearing the same set of clothes multiple days in a row. This I do. In fact, if I had a set of clothes I had to wear to work ... often I just wore them when I got home too. I didn't like the bother of figuring something else out.

2. Eating the same foods day in and day out. Yup, me again. I've always done this. I fixate on a type of meal, and just keep cooking that same thing every day and never get bored.

3. Insanely detailed lists to get things done. Actually, I don't do this often now, but I did do this DAILY when I had a home business. I used to ... figure out what I should be doing from hour to hour. It was quite a rigid schedule. But it worked. (shrugs)

And, of course, I am terrible in social situations. I do fixate on subjects and study them utterly to death. And I do not get when people are flirting by body language at all ... but hey, maybe that's just the asexual thing. But point is ... now I wonder. So that's how I answered.

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tsw
Never been officially diagnosed, my dad is a possible aspie.

I've got a slightly strange case here because as I'm told I've pretty much accepted being an aspie a few years ago, to make the long story short I've gone through a great deal of trauma earlier last year and as a result of that my life has changed dramatically over a short period of time since then, that includes a lot of dissociation, amnesia .. and inability to connect with the person I was (even a few months ago when I joined AVEN)

For what it is worth, I went through the same thing several years ago, circa 2000-2001. Over the course of a few months, I lost my career, my house, had to relocate to a distant relative's home, and had quite a few shocking revelations occur regarding my parent's past.

I think it was the combination of shock mixed with new, and unfamiliar surroundings that did it.

All my best wishes,

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Brodertun
1. Wearing the same set of clothes multiple days in a row. This I do. In fact, if I had a set of clothes I had to wear to work ... often I just wore them when I got home too. I didn't like the bother of figuring something else out.

where was this?

I mean I'm 100% certain I ahve aspergers, but I don't recall reading this bit specifically before. Though the only time I ever truly do this is when I'm at home, not going anywhere, and no one but my roommate and cat will be seeing me. And I always change after bathing

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Dailas

I voted for "I think I might have it - I seem to have a few traits. I'm asexual." I've just started to think about it recently, but I do seem to have quite a few traits. I'm gifted, very introverted, and generally socially inept, so I don't know if some of these are symptoms or personality traits which just happen to be similar. I'm not likely to go to a psychiatrist, psychologist, or counselor becuase I've had many bad experiences with them over the years. I was diagnosed with clinical depression once, but I think the symptoms were due to Crohn's disease (I had yet to be diagnosed and my Crohn's symptoms weren't severe yet, I think I was having an emotional reaction to my physical problems, it's kind of a long story).

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EGAD!
1. Wearing the same set of clothes multiple days in a row. This I do. In fact, if I had a set of clothes I had to wear to work ... often I just wore them when I got home too. I didn't like the bother of figuring something else out.

where was this?

I mean I'm 100% certain I ahve aspergers, but I don't recall reading this bit specifically before. Though the only time I ever truly do this is when I'm at home, not going anywhere, and no one but my roommate and cat will be seeing me. And I always change after bathing

As I understand it people with Asperger's have difficulty grasping certain social/cultural concepts and tend to be immune to peer pressure and also tend to be non-conformists.

The behavior of wearing the same or similar clothing day in and day out could be indicative of: a fixation, a need to control, immunity to social/cultural norms by Western standards.

The three things I mentioned above can all be indicitive of Asperger's as well as a number of other things but how exactly they manifest themselves from person to person is going to be different.

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