Insecurities for Allo’s partnered with an Ace

[Mountain House]

6 hours ago, Traveler40 said:

Great article and something that should be posted on AVEN to clear up confusion for folks like me.

🖐️ i second this.

[El-]

On 5/13/2022 at 12:08 AM, Traveler40 said:

@El- Given you and your wife are both on the ace spectrum, I believe you have a better shot than most to make it work. 👍🏼

 

The more I think about this, the more I understand that both of us being on the ace spectrum doesn't actually help with my case - Ironically (or not, to be honest) as a demi I relate to and experience most of what's in the article I linked but with one exception: not with my partner, who I feel completely and highly sexual with. I just forget and don't feel my demisexuality with her, and that's probably why we had so many issues there before. This might be a common experience for demisexuals, I'm not sure.
Nevertheless, as I originally wrote, this makes semi-opening the relationship (quite literally) less attractive of an option for me. Perhaps not impossible but as a monogamist too it'd be just difficult.
We are still hopeful though, as she identifies as gray-a and as we finally understand each other, (similarly to what @MyWifeIsAce wrote about his relationship) my partner is starting to safe again to play in a space that didn't come natural to her and that's exciting for us both.

[ryn2]

2 hours ago, El- said:

This might be a common experience for demisexuals, I'm not sure.

I’ve seen other demisexuals describe their experience as being “just like other sexuals” when they are with (the rare) someone they desire and “just like an asexual” otherwise, so it sounds like you are at least not the only one.