Describe your dream primary relationship

[Janus the Fox]

Weird? Well just look at myself and Janus, super weird yes the BF loves it, equally weird

[Ceebs]

I find it comforting that my partner reminds me regularly that he wouldn't want someone 'normal' and would be very bored by them. 😂

[Monke Jimmy]

Someone 18-20

Generally liberal

Not smoking all the time

Not an alcoholic

Okay with me being asexual

 

Cuddles

Movies

Food

A date of some kind?

 

This is what I've lowered my standards to. One would think it to be impossible. This is the dream. 

[Guest]

I want him to love me

Without conditions

I want him to take care of me

hug me

Kisses my hair when I sleep

looks into my eyes

To talk about strange things

To stay on his lap while he feeds me strawberries 

To wash and dry my hair

to hold hands

and  live in a luxurious place away from people

 

 

[Mike D]

To me dream relationships are like dream jobs...it's work, and I do not dream of labor.

 

My dream is for people to leave me alone whenever I'm not feeling social, and as an introvert with a fairly low social battery that's most of the time.  (I am neither antisocial nor asocial, and in fact my social skills are very well developed; I just have an above average need for alone time.)  Anyone who partners with me needs to be highly independent, because I can and occasionally do go for days without speaking to anyone.  Romantics and other people who need people are well advised to friendzone me!

[Cat7]

I just lost everything I wrote...no...

 

I'm looking for a monogamous relationship with mutual love (of course) and on both sides the wish to grow old together (not necessarily at the same place, though).

 

My dream person would be:

 

empathetic

appreciates when I show them my feelings and shows me their feelings

deep 

honest

similar values

no Christian

non-abusive

supports my decisions instead of making my decisions for me

doesn't objectify me

no smoker

doesn't want a child/children with me (but can have children already)

loves animals (it would be great if they had a dog😁)

preferable a vegetarian

likes to stay home with me, talk, or go for a walk (with the dog😁)

accepts that I don't want to go to parties or get to know everyone they know

gives me space, if I need it

 

Probably forgot something.

[Ceebs]

9 hours ago, Cat7 said:

accepts that I don't want to go to parties or get to know everyone they know

😂 Yeah that one is an introvert necessity for me.

[Cat7]

That's actually one thing that scares me about relationships. That the person might have 20 friends and 10 family members (which is ok) and wants me to get to know them all (which is not ok). I can handle like...2. On a good day.

[Ceebs]

On 3/13/2022 at 8:03 AM, Cat7 said:

That's actually one thing that scares me about relationships. That the person might have 20 friends and 10 family members (which is ok) and wants me to get to know them all (which is not ok). I can handle like...2. On a good day.

Yeah.

 

I mean, I definitely want to know the most significant people in my partner's life... I'd feel weird and left out if I didn't... and I'm always willing to hear stories about others hahaha, but yeah no, I don't want to have to be involved with everyone.

[StrayCat]

On 3/14/2022 at 1:03 AM, Cat7 said:

That's actually one thing that scares me about relationships. That the person might have 20 friends and 10 family members (which is ok) and wants me to get to know them all (which is not ok). I can handle like...2. On a good day.

2 already sounds super social... How many friends and family do you have? 😺

 

But yeah, finding someone I can stand is already hard enough, so probability I won't despise their family sharply approaches 0... Well, unless they are not human, they it's actually quite high 🐱

[Black Tourmaline]

 

idols. just idols.

[DanM27]

My ideal primary relationship would be

 

playing Video games together in the evening 

walking the dogs 

watching tv together 

occasional cuddles 

supporting each other

days out travelling somewhere 

no sex

giving each other space when we need it

[Cat7]

18 hours ago, StrayCat said:

2 already sounds super social... How many friends and family do you have? 😺

 

But yeah, finding someone I can stand is already hard enough, so probability I won't despise their family sharply approaches 0... Well, unless they are not human, they it's actually quite high 🐱

Yeah, honestly, I'm friends with more cats than humans. 

 

I'm also not very hopeful about finding someone. And that, although I'm currently in love with someone (already for ages). But we can't have a relationship, for various reasons. So, that just makes my situation more complicated.

[bertiewooster]

I would love a relationship where we:

 

• Have similar or same values
• Enjoy visiting theatres and museums together
• Love to travel with each other
• Have overlapping interests (at least a few!) in films and shows
• Love animals and having pets

I would love a partner specifically who is:

 

• Funny
• Sweet
• Caring
• Doesn't mind that I'm more introverted
• Not so pushy or aggressive
   

Feels pretty impossible, but wahey!

[Dweller Under The Sink]

At this point, my dream relationship is one where we go to the store, pick out a pineapple together and then share the pineapple.

 

That is enough and anything more is too much.

[Bingo Ricky]

Personality-wise, every topic should be open for conversation.  I thrive off of questioning Whys behind my behaviors, and delight in discovering the lack of reason behind most things (or how perception influences our understanding of those reasons), and that curiosity extends to others, though I recognize I've had a relatively easy existence that allows me to talk about many topics without a strong personal connection to them.     

 

In terms of the physical relation, I prefer being alone, like 99.99% of the time, and I also like operating wholly on my own schedule, so that means I'd want the ability to just summon that special someone for only the few minutes of conversation needed, and then they can go away again, back to their own reality.  In fairness, this means I need to open myself up to the same possibility - that I can be summoned on a whim, for a few minutes, and then dismissed - but that kind of violates the 'liking my personal time and to be on my own schedule' bit, which means I can't really expect someone else to put up with that either.

 

i.e. What I want is unrealistic.  So I'd settle for a machine I can put a quarter in that says "that's interesting," in response to some nonsense I spout, and maybe fifty cents on the rare occasions I want a hug.

[Richie Fashion Cat]

- living together, but with separate bedrooms for space/privacy. but we might sleep in the same bed from time to time

- a couple light forms of romantic touch, i.e. squeezing hand, gazing at each other, hugging from behind etc but doesn't necessarily need to be romantic

- no necessity for sex/romance

- we might not speak every single day, we might not do absolutely everything together, but still have a secure relationship

- we play video games/watch shows together

- someone I can have deep/emotional conversations with, and be completely comfortable with

 

 

sighs - thats how i feel Milque Toast thats so sweet this is 100% me too though i would add in stroking like a cat to affection.  

 

[Megalodon]

- empathetic

- kind

-open minded

-in touch with their emotions

-no kids

-separate rooms but maybe share a bed sometimes (I get overheat easily)

-we will have two cats, and I get to name them

-grocery shop and cook together

-maybe some cuddling and kissing

-no sex

-no smoking

-go fun places together

-museums and art galleries!!!!

-be my personal photographer lol

-play video games and board games together

 

Honestly though, I just want someone who I can live life together with, and makes even the mundane a little more exciting

[kashfy]

Actually i have a very high standard with many aspects so i can't really understand how to list it off but I'll try to say it shortly..

 

-No sex or sexual touches and innuendoes, practically nothing sexual should exist

-same identity as mine. A heteroromantic-nonlibidoist-asexual(sounds really fictitious but that's exactly what i need)

-possibly younger than me but not a requirement 

-someone who shares the same morality with me

-no kids

-no fighting, i hate it

-maturity and wise behaviour

-living together under the same roof in the same bed

-No toxic masculinity at all

-vulnerability and expressing emotions in front of each other

-i want warmness, gentleness, etiquette, kindness, empathy, calmness, responsibility etc from the other person.

-Pugnacity is totally prohibited, he needs to be a very placid person..i can't stand violence

-cooking together and going on coffee dates

-reading lots of books together

-working side by side

-lots of hugs

-lots of forehead kisses

-emotional compatibility and understanding

-no smoking and drinking 

-eventually married but after a long time of dating, probably after dating for 15-20 years. The age also matters like if i started dating him in my 20s then after 20 years or so..

-and love and love and love

[Miko134]

Animal lover, no kids.

Enjoys video games and nature.

Relatively chilled out.

Communicates through problems (my ex threw strops, was passive agressive, and blanked me over tiny things)

 

Romantic but in ways that are meaningful rather than scripted.

Positive person who likes to laugh.

Comedic and not easily offended, but also not offensive to anyone.

Doesn't judge others.

Needs personal space as much as I do and doesn't need to text constantly.

Not too much of a TV person.

Doesn't drink too much.

 

I'm vegetarian so it would be easier if they were, but it's not mandatory, as long as they respect that I won't purchase or cook real meat.

Not wasteful - I get really annoyed at things like food being thrown away and lights/heating being left on when not needed. Eco geek lol.

 

Super importantly they have to like fun, silly surprises because I love randomly surprising people with dumb stuff.

 

 

 

[Gilphchen]

Someone around my age(plus or minus 3 years), and likes to play video games.

Additional ideals would be:

Likes nature and chilling in the woods

Animal lover

Silly by nature but still mature

Genuine and honest

Interested in romantic things like cuddling, hand holding, and the occasional kiss

That they understand mental health is an on ongoing project and it's harder than normal sometimes

Wants to have kids someday( adopted most likely)

Cares about how people in general are doing and willing to help out a community if possible

That is ok with physical touch like hugging on a regular basis

 

I am also vegetarian, pagan, and a furry, so this ideal person being alright with all that would be a necessity. If they happen to be any if three or all three all the better!

[silent__]

- similar spirituality/worldview

- able to have deep conversations with me

- able to connect with me on a deeper level (which I guess is the same as a combination of the previous point and the next one, haha)

- emotional intimacy (could be physical as well or not, I don't think I particularly care either way)

- someone who has energy and does things, as that brings out my own energy and motivation

- someone with a mindset that allows them to always be learning, growing, and evolving as a person (as that's something very important to me as well)

- someone who is pretty similar to me in terms of what comes naturally and what they need to learn, so we can understand each other, but also who has learned different things so we can learn from each other

- and overall, just feeling like we can both be completely ourselves and completely honest with each other

 

That could be a friendship, it could be romantic, I would be happy with either as long as it's some kind of deep connection.

 

 

Or just Vi from Arcane

[Eroell]

My future boyfriend (if I ever find one) has to be:

 

● the most loyal person I'll ever know
     ● caring
     ● trustworthy and reliable in any situation 

     ● that I can be sure that he really loves me and he cares about me and he needs me, and he doesn't fake unlike most of my friends ever in my life
     ● polite, kind etc.
     ● out-going, sociable, and help me get to know people (as I'm somewhat shy) 
     ● sympathetic and listening to all complaints and be able to comfort and advise
     ● helpful
     ● that he would never be offended, never argue, that he would always forgive,
     ● honest
     ● a sense of humor is welcome
     ● must share at least one of my hobbies
     ●a person who I could have fun with. 

 

Yeah, I'm afraid my expectation bar is too high. 

 

[ashpenaz]

These are great responses. My word for this person is "Designated Other." We are agreed that we are the ones we celebrate holidays with, go to movies with, and we are each other's Plus One. People identify us as a couple. It's more than just friends--we are partners. 

 

Also, because I'm older, we'd have to be committed "in sickness and in health." We'd have to agree to take care of each other if one us had a stroke. We'd have to help each other with the problems of growing old. We could live apart, but we could never leave the other isolated. We'd know what the other's end-of-life wishes were--for instance, I want to be cremated, and my DO would have to take care of that.

 

 

[KJW]

It's probably easier to list what I don't want but here goes...

My dream close relationship/friendship:

-Someone who genuinely wants and likes spending time with me, with the purpose of getting to know each other and not just for convenience or if their other friends are not available.

-Empathy and understanding. This is a very important one. Very sorry but if you can't imagine 'what if' or what things might be like from another person's perspective then I'm going to struggle to relate to you.

- Someone who will respect my values, opinions, thoughts and any differences we have, as I would respect theirs. We don't necessarily have to have that many similarities but what I do not want is someone who thinks that their views/ way/ opinions are THE RIGHT AND ONLY WAY and constantly tries to change me.

- Someone quirky and unusual with a wacky sense of humour.

- Someone very kind.

- Someone friendly.

- I prefer shy people to very outgoing ones as I like 1:1 conversations the best. 

- Someone who shares my love of bright colours, cities (I don't live in one but love visiting them), art, writing, films, theatre, chocolate and generally trying new things. I'm quite quiet and shy but actually love a sensory overload and also like to be around people. That said I like spending lots of time alone creating things too. 

- No sex or any other kind of sexualised behaviour at all. Please. I don't even really like kissing but someone to have cuddles with would be nice.

- I also do not tolerate dominating behaviour or bossiness. Would want us both to be on equal grounds and take it in turns.

- Someone creative.

- Someone who doesn't mind my rather cheesy taste in music.

- If sharing a home in future, separate beds and preferably separate bedrooms too (I need alone time to settle to sleep).

- Also regarding relationships, sorry to say this but don't really want to have kids. I like kids but just not all the time.

- If we were to get a pet, not cats (don't like their claws and have relatives with severe cat allergies).

- Non smoker and preferably non drinker too, or at least doesn't need to drink to have a good time.

- Someone to play games with. (Board or video. Am not hugely knowledgeable or skilful in either but enjoy having a go). 

- My family are a very important part of my life and I also help care for a relative so an understanding/ tolerance of this is vital. 

- Most importantly, someone I can be myself around, have a laugh with and spend quality time together.

 

Blimey, that's a longer list than I thought it was going to be!

 

[Guest Invisible Pumpkin]

On 2/26/2022 at 2:38 PM, Ceebs said:

Chicken noodle? French onion? Tomato?  

 

I'm glad you mentioned it, I was like "oh! *kind soup*, a new expression for my vocabulary, this site is great, I'm learning so much around hahhaah"

[Guest Invisible Pumpkin]

Ideally, a guy that finds great not having sex at least the first year of relationship or so (or until we may be ok with it), but still liked to have some level of intimacy and closeness. 

Ok, I'm asking too much already, I stop now 😅

[Guest]

.

[BunnyBunBun]

I just want to be able to have a conversation and not only have someone text me when they want something. I don't want to have sex at all I don't like hugging or kissing or cuddling. I also don't like drug usage I don't like the smell of weed or alcohol. The dating sites I've used I noticed a lot of people are 420 friendly, I just can't deal with the smell or the drug at all. 

 

I want to find someone who won't judge me for not having any friends and someone who can with my social awkwardness and someone that doesn't lie and say what they think I want to hear thinking I'll sleep with them if they say the "right" things.  Also I have allergies so they can't have any animals in the house. 

[steel_quill]

Someone for whom these song lyrics would actually ring true:

Spoiler

 

Even if we can't find heaven
I'll walk through hell with you