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Older aces, how long have you known you were asexual?


coderedclover

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Lord Happy Toast

I became familiar with the term about 15 years ago.  I was active in the community for a while many years ago.  Now I'll occasionally take a look at how things are going.

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MidnightStar

I’m surprised how many people have said they heard of it 10, 15 years ago. I cannot believe until last year I had never ever heard the word asexual. Was I living under a rock? 😵💫 I almost felt like this word ‘asexual’ was only invented recently… so I’m surprised it hasn’t. 

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This was syndicated across Canada, at the time I'm not sure if the National Post or Toronto Sun were affiliated with the Gazette

 

 

Even before I got home and checked out AVEN online, I was pretty sure that asexuality applied to me. After surfing around AVEN that night, I told myself that from that point forward I was asexual. It was such a huge relief to know that there were others that had little or no sexual attraction to others. That being said I didn't actually sign up on the site until 2017.

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Even before I learned about asexuality, I always knew that's basically what I was as soon as I learned about what sex was.

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4 minutes ago, MidnightStar said:

I’m surprised how many people have said they heard of it 10, 15 years ago. I cannot believe until last year I had never ever heard the word asexual. Was I living under a rock? 😵💫 I almost felt like this word ‘asexual’ was only invented recently… so I’m surprised it hasn’t. 

No you weren't! It seems that asexuality gets little or no attention in the MSM. The link in my signature is the only item about it that I have seen in Canada since the article in 2005. There was a mention of asexuality on an episode of NCIS in 2018 or 2019.

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@MidnightStar Also I think younger folks seem to find out about asexuality by researching their identity online thru sources some of us 'senior' folks may not even know exist.

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Well, I lost interest in having sex with other people about 10 years ago and I’m 58. I’ve heard the term asexual for years but I didn’t think it applied to me really until this week!

I am very close friendships and I love the deep conversations with my friends and doing activities we enjoy together, and cuddling is nice.

and that’s enough for me. 

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I’ve never had any desire for sex but married a man I loved very much. Unfortunately, he always wanted sex, & we couldn't reach a satisfactory compromise & ended up divorcing a few years ago. We still love each other as friends & still keep in touch. I would still be open to having a romantic relationship with a compatible person (I love cuddling & having great conversations & sharing all the big & little things about life with a special partner), but no more sex for me. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm 40 and worked it out a few months ago. I hadn't thought to consider it about myself before, but once I read the definition it made perfect sense.

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1 hour ago, SimonB said:

I'm 40 and worked it out a few months ago. I hadn't thought to consider it about myself before, but once I read the definition it made perfect sense.

Welcome to AVEN 🍰  I was 44 when I stumbled on to an article about asexuality. Definitely a 'lightbulb' moment for me.

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4 minutes ago, will123 said:

Welcome to AVEN 🍰  I was 44 when I stumbled on to an article about asexuality. Definitely a 'lightbulb' moment for me.

Thank you. I just started speaking to people about asexuality last week and it's been pretty fun in person, I figured I'd expand my reach a little :)

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1 minute ago, SimonB said:

Thank you. I just started speaking to people about asexuality last week and it's been pretty fun in person, I figured I'd expand my reach a little :)

I've come out to a few friends since I joined AVEN a few years ago (I'm 60 now), it's a long story... LOL

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@SimonB welcome to AVEN 🍰🍰

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On 7/28/2022 at 5:23 AM, SimonB said:

I'm 40 and worked it out a few months ago. I hadn't thought to consider it about myself before, but once I read the definition it made perfect sense.

Welcome and :cake: !

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Crazy Cat Lady

I'm 49 now. I would have been 34 when I realized I was asexual, a few months after I split with my boyfriend of 10 years at the time. Didn't know what it was until I started searching online (and found this site) when I got a crush on someone new, but was worried about my lack of interest in sex. It felt better to know there were other people out there like me.

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Anomaly Q3Xr

I'll be turning 40 in a couple of months, and discovered asexuality and identified with it since I was 31/32, in 2014.

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4 hours ago, Sammie M said:

I'll be turning 40 in a couple of months, and discovered asexuality and identified with it since I was 31/32, in 2014.

Are you an October kid?

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Crazy Cat Lady

I need to amend my answer! I thought it was only a few months after my ex and I split that I found this site, but the site tells me I joined in 2010, so it was 3 years later! I found this site and I think it was only a few weeks after that I joined.

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Anomaly Q3Xr
3 hours ago, daveb said:

Are you an October kid?

Yep, I sure am :) 

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31 minutes ago, Sammie M said:

Yep, I sure am :) 

Cool!

Me too! :D 

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8 hours ago, Sammie M said:

Yep, I sure am :) 

 

7 hours ago, daveb said:

Cool!

Me too! :D 

X3

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On 1/16/2022 at 1:27 PM, Tempesta said:

18, 19 years now. Wish I remembered the exact date so I could celebrate. I still remember how suddenly everything made sense.

Heh.  If you aren't sure, just pick a date like I did.  I mean, I remember clearly how old I was when I finally 'settled the question' but I can't exactly remember the date so I chose to celebrate the day I stopped lurking on AVEN and joined the conversation.  Coincidentally it hits right in the middle of Pride Month.

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Yeah, I count it from the day I joined AVEN. But I didn't really know about asexuality before that date anyway.

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With me it's the date I first read about asexuality in a newspaper article. From that day forward I've identified as asexual. There wasn't any second guessing on my part as the article made so much sense to me.

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Over the years I knew I didn't view sex and relationships the way other people seemed to, but I mostly put that down to self esteem & self confidence issues. I didn't fully realise and understand that I was asexual until earlier this year, so when I was 31.

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I started questioning at seventeen (late, I know) and knew for sure at eighteen.

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