HopefulWorld Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 Hello, I’m wondering if there is a difference between sexual attraction and physical attraction? If so, could you please explain it to me? Also, can you experience sexual attraction if you have no sex drive (no desire/need/want)? Thank you for any help you can offer me during my ever evolving journey of asexuality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coolshades Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 Physical attraction is when you think someone is handsome or beautiful. You are attracted to their eyes, their hair, their six-pack abs, etc. etc. Sexual attraction is when you see someone and want to have sex with them. You can be physically attracted to someone but not want to have sex with them. You could also be sexually attracted to someone but not be physically attracted to them. Maybe what causes you to be sexually attracted is something other than their appearance, such as their personality, intellect, etc. I don't think you can experience sexual attraction if you have no sex drive, because you have to want to have sex with someone to have sexual attraction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nanogretchen4 Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 Some people on AVEN use the term aesthetic attraction to mean the same thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 Sexual attraction: an innate desire to connect on a sexual level with another person (could be for any number of reasons, but physical attraction can be one of the triggers) Physical attraction: Finding someone attractive physically (ie their appearance is attractive to you). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 I find people physically attractive, but never sexually attractive. I never have any urge or desire to have sex with them, I just think they look pretty attractive. I have found most of my half dozen partners (not all at once) to be physically attractive, and loads of other people too, but I have never wanted to, nor have I, engage in sexual activity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulWorld Posted August 10, 2021 Author Share Posted August 10, 2021 Thank you all for the help!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarryNightTogether Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 I find people physically or aesthetically attractive all the time. I might think they look handsome, beautiful, or cute, but I have no sexual interest in them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
everywhere and nowhere Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 2 hours ago, nanogretchen4 said: Some people on AVEN use the term aesthetic attraction to mean the same thing. I'm not sure what exactly do other people mean by "physical attraction". Actually, I don't like the term too much, because outside this community it will almost inevutably be understood as a synonym for sexual attraction. However, I feel that there is a particular form of attraction which causes a lot of confusion. Esthetic attraction is, basically, just admiring the way someone looks. But there is a form of attraction which definitely encompasses sexual feelings, arousal, fantasies - and yet the person in question still doesn't desire sex with the object of their attraction or with anyone else and would invariably refuse if sex with that person suddenly became a real option. It doesn't meet the criteria of "sexual attraction" in the AVEN understanding. Saying, like @PanFicto. did at some point, that "there are many feelings which could be described as sexual attraction, but what counts in determining sexual attraction is the feeling of desiring sexual contact" (basically, something like that), is not very satisfactory because it will still confuse people; especially as long as AVEN continues insisting on using attraction, and not desire as the basis of the definition, they may think that they "don't qualify" as asexual even if they never ever want to have sex with anyone. 2 hours ago, coolshades said: You can be physically attracted to someone but not want to have sex with them. You could also be sexually attracted to someone but not be physically attracted to them. Maybe what causes you to be sexually attracted is something other than their appearance, such as their personality, intellect, etc. And perhaps confusion of the two (still, as I say, I'm not an enthusiast of the term "physical attraction" and I'm getting more and more annoyed with the default need to rely on labels - I too start thinking in these categories, but then I realise that it really hinders communication instead of facilitating it) is what leads to the opposite mistake, "desire without attraction" and labelling it as asexual? Some people are not physically/esthetically attracted to their partners, and because of all the confusion surrounding the term "sexual attraction", it leads them to believe that they don't experience precisely sexual attraction and are therefore technically asexual? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 7 hours ago, everywhere and nowhere said: Saying, like @PanFicto. did at some point, that "there are many feelings which could be described as sexual attraction, but what counts in determining sexual attraction is the feeling of desiring sexual contact" (basically, something like that), is not very satisfactory because it will still confuse people; Well I try to word it less confusingly than that lol. What I mean is, people will literally say all kinds of things are sexual attraction. But the one thing that truly counts when determining whether you're experiencing sexual attraction or not is whether you want to connect on a sexual level with that person.. Like do you actually want to have sex with them (for your own shared pleasure) or do you just want to look at them, maybe snuggle them, but would feel like the mood would be broken instantly if they offered sex? The reason that's an important determining factor is because MANY, MANY aces assume they are experiencing sexual attraction (which really messes up many of the surveys taken regarding asexuality) because for example they think about certain people when they masturbate, or they like the way certain men look with their shirt off, or maybe they even think about sex but have no interest in actually doing it. They all assume those experiences are sexual attraction when actually if there is absolutely no desire to engage on a sexual level with someone else, then it's all just forms of physical/aesthetic, emotional, mental (etc) attraction. 7 hours ago, everywhere and nowhere said: Some people are not physically/esthetically attracted to their partners, and because of all the confusion surrounding the term "sexual attraction", it leads them to believe that they don't experience precisely sexual attraction and are therefore technically asexual? That's why it's always important to specify that the active desire to engage in sexual activity for one's own/shared pleasure is the only truly important factor when trying to gauge whether one is experiencing sexual attraction or not, regardless of whether or not you find your partner (or whoever) physically/aesthetically attractive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zhorin Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 As an aro ace, I still experience aesthetic attraction, meaning I recognize some people as beautiful / cute / good looking. I just don't have the desire to engage in a romantic nor sexual relationship with said person. It's more like an admire from afar type deal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtremelyGreedyOwner Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 On 8/10/2021 at 4:13 AM, HopefulWorld said: Hello, I’m wondering if there is a difference between sexual attraction and physical attraction? If so, could you please explain it to me? Also, can you experience sexual attraction if you have no sex drive (no desire/need/want)? Thank you for any help you can offer me during my ever evolving journey of asexuality . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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