How would you react if someone hit on you?

[Lilibulero]

I'm afraid it would be a' hit and run' in my case. ( Thank you, I'm here all week).

[Leaf069]

With cat calling i ignore it completely, flirting never felt like flirting for me (more like complimenting someone's cooking) otherwise im just like "thank you/ im flattered but im not looking for love/ a relationship"

[Journee]

You know how when you try to put a dollar into a vending machine and the machine keeps spitting the dollar back out at you? If and when I realize that someone is flirting with me, that's how I feel and I'm thinking, "What? Me? Why in the hell are you flirting with ME, did you not see those people over there? You sure you got the right person? Am I being punk'd right now?" In response to, "You're hot!", I typically answer with "No, I feel perfectly comfortable/actually I'm freezing right now" because it just doesn't always register with me that that is a compliment or whatever it is. I never understood the whole "you're hot" thing. I really don't like to be hit on and small talk terrifies me. Things have just always worked out better if there is a conversation about something cool, like space travel or something. lol 

[Keth]

It depends on context I guess. Who, when, where and why. My bestie and me just love cheesy pickup lines and we often joke flirt with each other which is all in good fun and fuzzy feelings. When people I know joke flirt with me it is also very fun but quickly turns into an out-roasting each other sessions with the nastiest lewdiest dirty jokes we can come up with. However the moment someone I don't know tries to flirt with me I feel awkward and scared. Most of it is out of my inability to correctly identify people's intentions. So joke or not I don't know what to expect from strangers so I might even have a meltdown if it is a particulary bad day for me.

[Yankee_In_Stalins_Court]

Ngl, I'm flattered when anyone is interested in me in that way at all, but it can be harder for me to recognize it from just "a very nice person". Most times after someone hits on me, I'm wondering if it was a joke, a dream, or just a nice person, but then my gut tells me they definitely just hit on me. If it doesn't come from a genuine want for connection with me, then frankly I'll be disgusted, but if it is genuine and they seem like a cool person, I might get a little weak in the knees or stumble over my words more...

[Jackie T.X]

act in a polite but lukewarm way, until the flame gradually fade away

[Mike D]

As Jackie T.X says, be polite but tepid and their eyes will wander off you in time.

One thing I've found people frequently do if they're interested in you:  they'll ask about your hobbies or what you like to do for fun.  While that's a fairly normal question, if it's coupled with the right body language (strong eye contact, blushing, dizzy smiles, light touches, etc.) it's very likely flirting, and the person is suggesting that you and they do fun things together.

With that in mind, I keep my answers lighthearted but cagey.  For instance, I might make an exaggerated dour face and say in a droopy voice, "Nothing.  I don't like having fun."  They always laugh and say no really, what do you do for fun, and I'll go, "No, really.  Fun is the worst.  I would never indulge in something so awful."  I keep the tone light but I never back down from it, never break character.  Sooner or later the penny drops that I'm not interested and they back off.

On the rare occasions when someone has just openly confessed to me, I've straight up told them I like being single and I'm not interested in dating.  So far, every single time that has led to a lengthy, tedious conversation in which they always assume I'm just disinterested in them specifically and making an excuse.  It never seems to enter anyone's thinking that I'm literally interested in no one.  Every one of those conversations is an extremely cringey memory for me.

[JustSomeAce]

I'm kinda scared of situations where people could possibly try to hit on me.

I do feel awkward and it somehow triggers my fight or flight instinct if it does happen.

 

And I never know, how I'm supposed to react. 😳

 

But if they don't make it obvious there's a good possibility of me not even noticing or not getting it at all. 😂

[J. van Deijck]

 

I don't like situations when random strangers hit on me, but apparently I'm quite flirty by nature (or so I've been told) and it's kinda visible when I like someone, so in this case I wouldn't mind them doing the same. But with strangers? Nope, stay away from me.

[Reindeer]

On 7/30/2021 at 8:08 PM, StarryNightAllAlone said:

I was wondering how other asexual people would react if someone hit on you or flirted with you? Luckily, I've never been asked out, but when I was 14, this boy said I looked like his ex-girlfriend. He said a similar thing a few years before that. I was so embarrassed I literally ran away from him. How would you react?

This happens all the time. 

[EmeraldIce]

If they weren't being super obvious, I'd be completely oblivious to it and interact as normal. If they were super obvious, I'd assume they were acting that way to make fun of me and/or were dared to do it. It's an unfortunate side effect of having been an unlikeable bullied kid. But on the bright side, it keeps me safe from creepers!

 

If they weren't trying to be obvious but still left enough hints to make me think they're interested (e.g. blushing, wanting to hang out more, making a big deal out of trivial similarities, fishing for excuses to be around me), I'd probably pretend I didn't pick up on the hints just out of fear that I'd be wrong and make a fool of myself. I would still entertain requests to hang out and whatever, because people in this category are usually decent, well-educated people I already know and who seem to like me for who I am. And as someone whose desire to have kids trumps everything else, except possibly my anxiety, I would actually hope that someone that I felt safe around would take the initiative to ask me out. But as luck would have it, I don't seem to have the ability to come off as interested. It's actually amazing how well that works at deterring decent men. I can't tell you how many times I've actually been set up (at my request) by family and friends only to have the guy back off saying it's clear I'm not really interested based on my behavior, attitude, and frequency of communication. In most of those cases, I thought I was doing everything right and that things were going well.

 

And then there are the people who flirt just for the sake of flirting, not intending anything to come of it. In those cases, I just interact with them as friends. My husband actually has a good friend who flirts with everybody. He's 100% a weirdo, and his behavior's been interpreted as harassment by many coworkers of his, but like, seriously, if he's openly flirting with both my husband and me in front of each other, chances are he's not legitimately trying to get either of us...

[Guest]

I’ve never encountered it thankfully but would just be polite and neutral. It would be immediately obvious I don’t feel anything for them. People stay away from me though, which is good.

[Anomaly Q3Xr]

6 minutes ago, Guybrush Threepwood said:

People stay away from me though, which is good.

A superpower I wish I had!

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Sammie M said:

A superpower I wish I had!

I’ve decided I have a look people hate and a 💩 personality.

[gwennol]

i'm sure i'm not the only one who keeps reading this thread title as 'how would you react if someone hit you'? which.... well, that'd be pretty rude of them, i guess!

as for hitting on me, it depends:

if it's a stranger or someone i know but not that well, ew.

if it's someone i know well and i'm comfortable around, i wouldn't mind the flirting itself, but if i'm not interested in them and don't see any way we'd work like that, i'd be a bit concerned about their intentions.

if it's someone i am interested in. well, great!

all of this is with the assumptions that 1) the flirting isn't terribly explicit or otherwise gross, which would make me rather uncomfortable no matter who it's from; and b) i actually recognise that they're flirting with me which is a pretty big assumption honestly

[Calliers]

On 7/30/2021 at 10:00 PM, quaintrelle said:

I would hit them back. 🙃

I read the title as "What would you do if someone hit you?" too at first!!!

 

And to that I was going to answer, I don't even know what I would do lol.

 

But girls hit on me sometimes; I find it flattering.

[Typhoon]

I probably wouldn't notice it until an hour later when I'm eating a sandwich or something and think to myself 'Wait was that person flirting with me?'

 

Assuming that I do get the hint I would say thanks and try to get a conversation going. If we end up liking each other I'd see where it goes.

[daveb]

5 hours ago, Sammie M said:

5 hours ago, Guybrush Threepwood said:

People stay away from me though, which is good.

A superpower I wish I had!

It's a blessing. And a curse.  

[J. van Deijck]

9 hours ago, EmeraldIce said:

If they weren't being super obvious, I'd be completely oblivious to it and interact as normal. If they were super obvious, I'd assume they were acting that way to make fun of me and/or were dared to do it. It's an unfortunate side effect of having been an unlikeable bullied kid.

I used to be like that, too, for the same reasons.

[oldgeeza]

Well I'm in my fifties and it hasn't happened yet, or at least not that I'm aware of, if it ever did, I'd give them back their white stick and guide dog, although I have many lady friends, I look much older than my years and always have done, I'm short, overweight and being polite, I'm not at all pleasing to the eye, so although it wouldn't happen in the real world, if anything like that were to happen, I would question it as the previous relationships that sort of happened in my past, all of the women cheated, and they used me to see if they could still pull, I would suspect that would still be the same now if it happened 

[Guest]

8 hours ago, daveb said:

It's a blessing. And a curse.  

Is it a curse as we get older though? It probably bothered me a little bit in my teens and early 20s that people weren't interested in me but it would really annoy me now in my 30s if someone hit on me.

[daveb]

3 hours ago, Guybrush Threepwood said:

Is it a curse as we get older though? It probably bothered me a little bit in my teens and early 20s that people weren't interested in me but it would really annoy me now in my 30s if someone hit on me.

It was kind of a joke (hence the smiley). Adrian Monk on the tv show, Monk, often said "It's a curse. And a blessing." (or something like that)

Basically it just means there are pros and cons.

 

But it can be a drawback when someone does want some attention or friends, but finds people tend to shy away from them or keep their distance.

[Ella of Frell]

Supposedly, I get hit on quite a lot (when I actually go somewhere that people can interact with me). I almost never notice, though, until someone else points it out. I'm also quite flirty, apparently (I call it just being nice). So, I get labeled as someone who leads people on quite often. I don't mean to; I just genuinely can't tell when someone is interested in me. 

[oldgeeza]

1 hour ago, beta_moon said:

Supposedly, I get hit on quite a lot (when I actually go somewhere that people can interact with me). I almost never notice, though, until someone else points it out. I'm also quite flirty, apparently (I call it just being nice). So, I get labeled as someone who leads people on quite often. I don't mean to; I just genuinely can't tell when someone is interested in me. 

Although I've never been hit on, I am often accused of being flirty, again, like you, I just treat others how I'd like to be treated, if they're nice to me, I'm nice to them, shops is where I'm often accused of flirting, I always talk to the person on the checkout, they see many people and they're often ignored, but to me, they're human, they're no different to me, so I treat them with respect, I ask how they are, and just make conversation, why not? on many occasions I've had them say to me that it's nice to have someone acknowledge them, it doesn't take much, but many see that as flirting, luckily I never get accused of leading anyone on, (that's an advantage of being ugly), I just respect those around me

[Reindeer]

Depends on a few things. Will it bring me benifit if I date them. Are they in my freind circle? Does it bring my status up or down? If I am interested for some reason but it brings my status down I consider the pros and cons. If they are in my freind circle and I am not interested I will say yes as to not upset, or dodge until they get bored or pass them to another single freind. It it looks good for my status and they are a freind I will say yes and go through the motions. So it kind of depends. 

[Kimi_gata]

On 7/30/2021 at 9:48 PM, s k a l said:

Laugh it off or attempt to make a joke. Mostly just hope it ends soon.

Yep. One of my friends seems to see me THAT way, and I can’t help them

[SpideyFan1644]

I'm on the spectrum, so for a while I couldn't tell if anyone was hitting on me or just really liked talking with me. Starting to get a little bit better catching it, but there was one guy recently who may have been flirting with me, and I could feel myself starting to panic internally. He wasn't being creepy or anything. I just don't want anyone to see or like me in that way, I guess. 

[Ella of Frell]

2 hours ago, oldgeeza said:

I ask how they are, and just make conversation, why not? on many occasions I've had them say to me that it's nice to have someone acknowledge them, it doesn't take much, but many see that as flirting

Right. I've never understood why acknowledging other humans and showing genuine interest in them must mean I'm flirting. 

[Guest]

When I was at college a guy I liked flirted with me a little bit and I was so super shy I didn't know what the heck to do. I closed up and did the opposite of what I wanted to do - I gave off 'not interested' vibes. I have never been hit on by anyone else but if I was it would make me super uncomfortable. Being asexual, even if I liked them back, I would be too scared to pursue it since I'd expect my sexuality to be an issue. 

[J. van Deijck]

On 5/19/2022 at 4:55 PM, beta_moon said:

Supposedly, I get hit on quite a lot (when I actually go somewhere that people can interact with me). I almost never notice, though, until someone else points it out. I'm also quite flirty, apparently (I call it just being nice). So, I get labeled as someone who leads people on quite often. I don't mean to; I just genuinely can't tell when someone is interested in me. 

Actually same here.