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How would you react if someone hit on you?


StarryNightAllAlone

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StarryNightAllAlone

I was wondering how other asexual people would react if someone hit on you or flirted with you? Luckily, I've never been asked out, but when I was 14, this boy said I looked like his ex-girlfriend. He said a similar thing a few years before that. I was so embarrassed I literally ran away from him. How would you react?

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One of my partners actually hit on me at first, or at least it was simultaneous flirting. I actually liked it, because generally I'm the side expected to initiate and hit on the other side. It was pleasant to be receiving for a change.

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Laugh it off or attempt to make a joke. Mostly just hope it ends soon.

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Depending on who did it and how they did it, I would either be flattered or frightened.

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StarryNightAllAlone
15 minutes ago, Autumn Twilight said:

Order my tailgunner to take them out so to speak ‘cause it’s a trick. I have no reason to believe otherwise.

That's really sad. I can relate a little. This boy told me he liked me on a dare in 7th grade. I saw the whole thing and knew he was lying. It still hurt though.

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HakunaKatana

Probably I would just be confused, if I even realized it was flirting to begin with.

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Big assumption that I would realize it. I'd almost 99% just think "oh a friendly person" and unintentionally flirt back, realize 30 minutes later, and feel a mix of embarrassment, flattery, and also be a bit creeped out they were still talking to me or relieved the conversation ended already.

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headinthesand

If it's text from strangers I don't open them, if it's real life flirting i pretend I don't understand how they ment what they say and leave real awkward or ignore it as a whole like a bad joke. i've only been asked out once and I wished the ground would open under me and swallow me whole, bc I felt absolutely nothing towards the guy and we were in the same class... Think it would probably be a lot different how I would act if I actually like the person who's doing these

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Most likely I wouldn't even realize it. On the off chance I did I'd probably assume they were just being nice or something. If I knew for sure it was happening and for real my reaction would depend on how I felt about them.

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When I was younger I didn't even recognize when someone was flirting with me so I just carried on with the conversation.  Now I can recognize it more easily and I just shut it down by saying something that makes it obvious I am not interested.  It doesn't happen very often though, especially in real life.

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I would laugh and say "You must be desperate" (I'm joking I would probably just say something along the lines of "No thanks")

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rainbowocollie

When people have flirted with me I laughed nervously.

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A number of people did years ago, now that I realize what they were doing.  One specific one I ended up marrying; another specific one I had a long loving relationship with.  If someone hit on me now, I'd laugh.  

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Janus the Fox

I’d not notice, any non-verbal communication like this I can’t really see for me.

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I'd be flattered...

 

... then probably run away all scared because I wouldn't know how to respond🤦

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The Sword thinks the correct description would be "deer in the headlights". 

 

tumblr_m5be02PSkW1r5kdado9_r1_250.gifv

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Assuming I realized it was flirting (humans can be so random in what they consider "flirting"...) I'd probably go more stiff and give off unfriendly vibes. If I'm not sure and their actions come across as just friendly (not crossing into creepy) I'll be friendly back, but try to mention my bf at some point.

 

Back when I was around 19, I went to a hippie festival with a friend. We were both taking a belly dancing class through community college at the time, and went to the festival dressed as belly dancers. At one point there were two guys (I think brothers); one of them was more traditionally attractive (clearly worked out, early 30s, blond, charismatic), his brother less so. I had zero interest in either of them, but my friend really liked the first one; the first one was very interested in me, so my friend asked me to play along so that she could get his number. The two brothers ended up showing us around their campground and giving us a tour of the area, with the first guy being interested in me and the brother being more interested in my friend. The night ended up being pretty fun (they were chill and didn't push boundaries or anything) and my friend ended up getting the first guy's number. They ended up with, ah, "friends with benefits" situation for quite some time after that. 😂 My friend had just ended a 5 year relationship with a guy and had her sights set on a good time.

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I am hit on by men fairly often... And by both teenaged and elderly women. The men do not bother me--I take it as a compliment (because they tend to be about the same age as I am) even though I am not interested in either a platonic or romantic relationship with them. But it feels icky when women the same age as either my niece or my grandma attempt to flirt with me. Please, for the love of all that is sacred, just stop.

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YourePerfect
22 minutes ago, jkmlynch said:

The men do not bother me--I take it as a compliment (because they tend to be about the same age as I am) even though I am not interested in either a platonic or romantic relationship with them.

Nice 😊

22 minutes ago, jkmlynch said:

But it feels icky when women the same age as either my niece or my grandma attempt to flirt with me.

That really is weird. I want to think they weren't serious...

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I think it really depends on the context. I've usually got no issue with getting personal compliments or being flirted with or the like. Were someone to do it, I'd either let the continue or politely stop them depending on how I felt about it. It's not an issue for me to be hit on...it's an issue for me to be hit on if the person has been told to stop. As much as I hate to be "that person"...there's a difference between flirting and sexual harassment. Namely...if it's unwelcome, then it's harassment. Unlike a lot of people, I'll be very clear about when it's unwelcome.

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I'm not even ace and my answer is still something along the lines of 'confused'. I can usually tell when someone is flirting, but I'm not really the sort of person who gets flirted with/hit on, so it's not like it actually happens much. On the off chance it does, unless it's someone I've known a while and we have an established comfort level and perhaps it's clear there are mutual feelings, I'd say my general response is discomfort at the attention and confusion as to why on earth someone would flirt with me in particular. It would probably make me anxious.

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MCTlibrarian

The one time I was hit on blatantly enough for me to even notice, it made me feel repulsed enough I called a dear friend to pick me up and act as if he was my boyfriend 😅

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I never notice unless someone else points it out to me, but it doesn't bother me I guess. I'm not exactly a person others find physically attractive often (which is how I prefer it), so I don't usually get comments about my appearance. I think that would make me a bit uncomfortable, but like I said, it hasn't come up more than one or twice in my entire life (that I've been aware of). 

 

According to some of my friends, I can keep up fairly well with conversational flirting. I just don't know that's what's happening. I like to banter with people, I'm willing to talk to anyone about anything pretty much, I'm just unlikely to initiate the conversation. 

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