Jump to content

Looking for support and feedback for my first short film :)


Recommended Posts

AnxiousAsexual

Hello! My name is Sandy and I am a young aspiring filmmaker. my dream is to become a filmmaker because I want to create more representation in the media for marginalized communities. This past year I challenged myself to make my first short film so that I can start learning the craft and the way I learn is by making mistakes and getting feedback. If you guys could check it out and give me feedback that would mean the world to me!

 

THE LINK> Distant Acts

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Sandy.  I watched your short film and I liked the theme.  As a teacher, I have had to learn a lot about how a child's home situation could effect their abilities at school, and that I need to try to be more understanding if they are late or cannot get work done.  This was a good reminder of that. :)  I also really liked the ending when the kid walked in on them hugging.  It was a nice way to add some levity to an otherwise serious film.

 

A few critiques (but take them with a grain of salt, because I'm not a film expert, haha)

 

1.  The transition from the first scene to the second is a bit sudden, and it goes from music to no music  *or* sound.  At first I thought my sound had gone out because it was such a drastic change.  So maybe either keep the music for a bit into the second scene or have some sort of sound in the background after the transition so we don't think the sound has gone out. :)

 

2.  I thought that the lighting in the scene at the theater was a bit dark.  Maybe it was just my computer, but I had a hard time seeing the characters.

 

3.  I didn't make the connection that the two characters that were supposed to be in the play were the same two characters that were working on the project until Emma brought it up to Josh that he left her high and dry.  I think this is because a) I couldn't clearly see Emma in the first scenes so didn't recognize her as the same person, and b) they don't refer to each other by name when Josh walks in the room to work on the project, so I had no idea who they were.  It may have been better for the stage manager to say Emma's name during the theater scenes and then for Emma and Josh to use each other's names when they first see each other so it was clear to the viewer that they were the same people.

 

4.  The argument over the project was a bit too long and drawn out, in my opinion.  I started losing interest in it after a couple of minutes. 😕

 

5.  I feel so bad saying this, but to me the acting was not great, particularly when the discussion moved to Josh's home situation and Emma's reaction to his admission about his mom.  I know that these aren't professional actors, though, so we shouldn't expect Oscar-winning performances.

 

I also wanted to add that I liked the music, especially at the beginning.  It created a very tense mood and made the viewer wonder if something bad was going to happen (or had happened) to keep Josh away from the play.

 

Hope that helps!  Great job! :)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 8 months later...

That was amazing!

 

The story tracked for me and my only real critic is in some in continuity and color. The whole video was underexposed which lead to you crushing a lot of your blacks. Did you do any color correction? It looked like you did and I think that is where a lot of the problems are coming in. It's always difficult to find a balance between contrast and going too far. What did you use to edit this? 

 

My only other critic was that some of the shots were a little jarring, not because of a bad edit, but because some of the shots broke some continuity rules. Continuity is one of the hardest things in film and something I definitely struggle with. If you want a good resource to help improve some of the more technical side of things, I recommend "Voice and Vision A Creative Approach to Narrative Filmmaking" by Mick Hubris-Cherrier. It definitely taught me a lot of those fundamentals. 

 

Honestly, it was really good. The cinematography was amazing! I myself am a filmmaker who has worked on some shorts and am in preproduction for my first feature. I'd love to chat more about film. Feel free to send me an email at Nicoleadille@gmail.com 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...
AnxiousAsexual
On 4/24/2022 at 7:53 PM, Atalanta. said:

That was amazing!

 

The story tracked for me and my only real critic is in some in continuity and color. The whole video was underexposed which lead to you crushing a lot of your blacks. Did you do any color correction? It looked like you did and I think that is where a lot of the problems are coming in. It's always difficult to find a balance between contrast and going too far. What did you use to edit this? 

 

My only other critic was that some of the shots were a little jarring, not because of a bad edit, but because some of the shots broke some continuity rules. Continuity is one of the hardest things in film and something I definitely struggle with. If you want a good resource to help improve some of the more technical side of things, I recommend "Voice and Vision A Creative Approach to Narrative Filmmaking" by Mick Hubris-Cherrier. It definitely taught me a lot of those fundamentals. 

 

Honestly, it was really good. The cinematography was amazing! I myself am a filmmaker who has worked on some shorts and am in preproduction for my first feature. I'd love to chat more about film. Feel free to send me an email at Nicoleadille@gmail.com 

This is all great feedback! Thank you! I would love to talk more.

Link to post
Share on other sites
AnxiousAsexual
On 7/26/2021 at 11:40 PM, coolshades said:

Hi Sandy.  I watched your short film and I liked the theme.  As a teacher, I have had to learn a lot about how a child's home situation could effect their abilities at school, and that I need to try to be more understanding if they are late or cannot get work done.  This was a good reminder of that. :)  I also really liked the ending when the kid walked in on them hugging.  It was a nice way to add some levity to an otherwise serious film.

 

A few critiques (but take them with a grain of salt, because I'm not a film expert, haha)

 

1.  The transition from the first scene to the second is a bit sudden, and it goes from music to no music  *or* sound.  At first I thought my sound had gone out because it was such a drastic change.  So maybe either keep the music for a bit into the second scene or have some sort of sound in the background after the transition so we don't think the sound has gone out. :)

 

2.  I thought that the lighting in the scene at the theater was a bit dark.  Maybe it was just my computer, but I had a hard time seeing the characters.

 

3.  I didn't make the connection that the two characters that were supposed to be in the play were the same two characters that were working on the project until Emma brought it up to Josh that he left her high and dry.  I think this is because a) I couldn't clearly see Emma in the first scenes so didn't recognize her as the same person, and b) they don't refer to each other by name when Josh walks in the room to work on the project, so I had no idea who they were.  It may have been better for the stage manager to say Emma's name during the theater scenes and then for Emma and Josh to use each other's names when they first see each other so it was clear to the viewer that they were the same people.

 

4.  The argument over the project was a bit too long and drawn out, in my opinion.  I started losing interest in it after a couple of minutes. 😕

 

5.  I feel so bad saying this, but to me the acting was not great, particularly when the discussion moved to Josh's home situation and Emma's reaction to his admission about his mom.  I know that these aren't professional actors, though, so we shouldn't expect Oscar-winning performances.

 

I also wanted to add that I liked the music, especially at the beginning.  It created a very tense mood and made the viewer wonder if something bad was going to happen (or had happened) to keep Josh away from the play.

 

Hope that helps!  Great job! :)

thank you so much for the detailed feedback! it really helps! :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...