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UK: The Guardian: "What does the dawn of demisexuals tell us? How sex-drenched society has become"


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EdInLondon

An opinion piece by Arwa Mahdawi, published at 13:36 on Tuesday 13th July.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/commentisfree/2021/jul/13/what-does-the-dawn-of-demisexuals-tell-us-how-sex-drenched-society-has-become 

 

When I was browsing the Guardian's website this morning, this was the second-most read article on their ranks at the bottom.  It has dropped out of the top ten now.

 

I don't find this article very insightful.  The first half is just her gut feeling, which she admits was misguided.  The second is some very speculative analysis about how the proliferation of sexual content in the media has led to a repulsed youth that embraces demisexuality.  That doesn't make a lot of sense to me.  Arwa Mahdawi says that she is gay.  Does she think that she became gay because of media trends?  I doubt it.

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RoseGoesToYale

If there's anything I've learned from these two articles, it's that demis need more representation in media than just this one person.

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ben8884
Quote

Acting as if needing to get to know someone before jumping into bed with them constitutes a marginalised sexual orientation that needs a flag seems to play into the hands of rightwingers who are desperate to argue that liberals are narcissists with a victimhood complex.

Not sure if thats sarcasm or her sincere belief of what demisexuality is. I hope its sarcasm because I expect better research from a broadsheet journalist. 

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Ugh this and the one from the other thread are such bad articles...

 

They could have spend 10 minutes googling what demisexuality is 🤦‍♀️

 

 

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Seems like the article paints people as demisexual for the sake of the headline alliteration, as opposed to anyone from said ‘dawn’ identifying as such (minus the one individual).

 

The “(Congratulations, some of you may suddenly have realised that you are not actually the boring hetero you thought you were – you are an exciting demisexual! You even get your very own flag!)” excerpt comes across ridiculously sarcastic against the very people they’re supposedly bigging up…?

 

Also do demisexual folk identify as “queer”? 

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Yeah. I came across that article, yesterday, where it was listed as the #1, being currently read that day.

 

I decided not to mention it on here, since the article wasn't positive or supportive of demisexuals (I didn't want to upset or traumatize, anyone).

 

The NY governor's daughter came out as "bisexual" in June and "demisexual" in July, so that's why there are opinion articles and a lot of talk about about demisexuality on social media popping up.

 

...Just a warning that it's not positive; there are a lot of people criticizing demisexuality because they think it's just "normal sexuality."

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jkmlynch

I read the comments posted above, and yet I still read that article. Now I want to bang my head against a wall. Please, journalist/op-ed writers, take time to get to know a group of people before you 'report' about them. Learning is good. *cough, cough*

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I hope more people will be interested into what means demisexuality (and then, what means asexuality (because after demisexuality they're probably going to wonder about what means asexuality)) and maybe then they'll realize that a previous article was stupid as hell

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silent__

I feel like the article just wasn't a productive thing to publish. Like, please do feel free to write things like this, but keep it in your own private journal. Don't publish opinion pieces on topics you don't actually know about, about people who haven't talked to.

Edited by silent__
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TickedOffDemi

Gotta love progressive hate articles.

Good to know you fought so hard 20 years ago so that you could discriminate against people of other sexual orientations.  

Growing up with zero attraction to others based off their physical bearing might be difficult for you to understand, just as being a lesbian is difficult for straight people to understand; they weren't given the exposure or wisdom to remain open minded to learn about it.  It's ridiculous so many bigots run around pretending allies.  It would be my personal hope that children are given the exposure and information to not feel entirely alienated from society and grow in safer, more open minded environments; While a separate flag for this seems silly sometimes, it allows for that hope.  Bigots suck, and it's a shame they're still allowed to publish hate articles specifically promoting intolerance.

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Quasar.w

😶 she's basically saying demisexuality isn't an actual thing but "(mostly) young people who have latched on to the label in recent years. The fact that there was a need to come up with a term like “demisexual” (which was coined in 2006) shows how sex-drenched society has become."

Also these bits

Quote

Reader, I rolled my eyes. I know that’s not the kind or constructive thing to do when someone is brave enough to come out, but I’m afraid I couldn’t help it: my old gay eyes rolled involuntarily.

[..]

Still, I’ve got to admit that there was a dash of cynicism propelling the eye-rolling. Last time I checked, demisexuals weren’t exactly an oppressed minority fighting for equal rights

[..]

Acting as if needing to get to know someone before jumping into bed with them constitutes a marginalised sexual orientation that needs a flag seems to play into the hands of rightwingers who are desperate to argue that liberals are narcissists with a victimhood complex

Jeez... the erasure, the "you're not oppressed enough", the whatever tf this has to do with right wing politics (I can clearly see the US centricism in that, as she's based in NY)

 

(I'm gonna use my special quasar powers to not log this)

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Eww… oh I don’t like that article. She really, really didn’t do her homework.

 

Sure, I wasn’t, and am not, oppressed. My family, friends and coworkers don’t mock me for being single and living with my parents at 40, and for the few of them whom I explained demisexuality, they’re ok with it. I don’t think they understand it very well lol, but they respect me.

 

Still, when I searched through asexuality websites because even though I felt fine in general, I felt « off » in some ways, I was super happy to find demisexuality (on Aven website in fact!)

 

I’ve had that lightbulb, that « oooh, that’s it! » moment. You can’t diminish that and insult people like that. 
 

Ok, sorry, got a bit in a rant as I’m pissed off lol. Why are people so afraid of new words and terms? Why don’t they go outside their black or white thinking?

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