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Coming Out?


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Eridanus

Hello people of AVEN! I've been considering coming out to a dear friend for a while now, but I think I need some advice.

 

For a good portion of my life, I've questioned my gender, and around half a year ago, I reached the conclusion that I am bigender, which means that I feel like both a girl and a boy at the same time. This technically means that I don't mind at all going by she/her, but everyone believes that I am cis and solely uses she/her for me. I would like my other pronouns to be used a little more often, which is why I am considering coming out to a close friend.

 

However, my friend is bisexual, and as far as I know, they have been in the LGBTQ+ community for far longer than I have. I'm a little scared that if I come out to them, they will either 1) not believe me 2) believe that I am too young to be considering my gender or 3) believe that I am caught up in a "phase" where I am trying to be "special" and using queerness as an outlet. On multiple occasions, they would tell me jokes, hesitate, and immediately proceed to say that I wouldn't get the humor because I am cis and straight (I'm not), which kind of hurts a lot. It is also why I am so worried about 3) occurring.

 

I'm a paranoid person, and may or may not have too much anxiety, so I might be entirely wrong about this, but I needed somewhere to rant? What do y'all think? Should I just up and tell them?

 

Thank you for reading this bundle of stress,

Eridanus

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Purplegems3

Hey Eridanus

 

I might be Cis but when I was closeted, I also worried that even though they accepted relatives, friends, classmates for being Bisexual, Gay, Trans etc that they would tell me it's a phase & that I would wanna start dating, start want have sex etc when I have found right person or be one of those "Allies" who accept any type of Allosexual/Alloromantic attractions but not Aromantic or Asexual. They were thankfully accepting of both Aromantic & Asexual when I finally came around to telling the people close to me. 

 

I ended up coming out when one of the people I was with mentioned my dating life whilst helping me sort though my stuff cuz I wanted to come out as naturally as talking about a TV Show or something. I'm not sure if this technique will help for you personally but if you're ready to let your Bi friend sooner rather than wait it out then like I did, I would probably mention the subject on bigender to see how they respond to it because if they do react poorly, you know not to come out to them & try & find people who will believe you regardless of age

 

Imogen

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