Orbit Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Here's an article that I found interesting. Dear Dr. Gott: I hope you print my letter, because I am interested in knowing whether there are others like me.I am a fairly young female with a chronic condition that has made me asexual. My doctor has recommended help in restoring my desire for sex. However, I have declined. The reason is that I truly do not care. In fact, I am finding this state of being asexual truly liberating! We live in a sex-obsessed society. Media messages on all fronts suggest that we should all strive for increasingly greater sex appeal. We can't look at a magazine or a movie without blatant images of sex and sexiness that we're supposed to live up to. And we spend scads of money on services and products that lure us into thinking we'll be sexier with each use. I no longer have this desire. I no longer feel pressured to be sexy or sex-driven. Consequently, I no longer feel inadequate or inferior, either. I feel free to focus on myself and others in more generous and satisfying ways. It's a shame that it took an illness for me to realize the egregious trap most of us are in. Wouldn't it be great if more people spoke up about the joy of not being pressured by constant sex? To answer what I am sure you are thinking, I still primp and endeavor to be attractive. I am active and do all that I can to maintain good health. My husband and I enjoy intimacy in other ways and we're closer than ever. Dear Reader: In a very personal way, you have raised a question that is less medical than it is sociological/psychological. Although a loss of libido can often be reversed by low-dose testosterone (male hormone) therapy, many women choose to avoid treatment and -- as in your case -- regard asexuality as preferable. I respect your view, and I can tell you this condition is not rare. However, asexual women who are concerned about this need to know that testosterone will often awaken dormant sexual impulses. If, on the other hand, such women believe their lives are more fulfilled, they should not be labeled as being strange or "sick." This is simply a question of choosing other options in our sex-oriented society. It raises an interesting question about sexual orientation becoming a medical choice... and the option of 'asexuals' getting testosterone to awaken sexual impulses being out there. Link to post Share on other sites
thylacine Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 1. I believe that some people, like myself, were probably born asexual, since I grew up seeing my friends go suddenly crazy when a boy walked by and I never developed those feelings. However, some people have these needs then suddenly lose them for some medical reason. Maybe some people are born asexual, and some become this way? 2. A doctor is in a way, a service provider. They are not there to tell a person how to live their life. Their job is not just to treat illness, advise a person on how to maintain health, but also to help a person live the way he / she wants to live. For instance, a person wants a sex change operation, there are doctors who specialize in that because this is the way he / she wants to be. A person wants a higher sex drive, there are plenty of chemical on the shelf to treat that. If a person does NOT want to restore their missing sex drive, that should be fine, also, because everyone should be free to make their choices free from society's dictates. I am glad this physician did not argue or criticize the person. Our society needs more open minded and tolerant people in the medical profession. Some time ago, my 72 year old mother (whom I also believe to have been pretty much asexual all her whole life, but that is another story) was criticized rudely by her physician for not having sex. "What? At my age?" And the doctor went on about she should get a boyfriend blah-blah-blah... This doctor was in fact ignorant and destructive. He did not know about her problems developed from what happens to some older women as time goes by (I'll spare people the details) but activity would probably be more harmful than helpful -- even if she did want to be with someone it probably wouldn't be "good" for her physically. This ignorant young immature physicion (probably a student) most likely did not read all her info. before launching into his lecture on sexual health. If he had read her records he would have known about the operations she was about to have to correct some worn out things... But never mind. He just went on about "you need a boyfriend" -- Honestly -- she told me about that and I could not believe a 20 something med student is criticizing my 72 year old mother for her lifestyle. I wanted to drive down to that hospital and smack him around. Nobody talk to my asexual mamma that way! Link to post Share on other sites
Placebo Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 THAT DOCTOR IS AWESOME!!! Phew. I liked that. ;) I also liked that they actually used the word "asexual." P.S. Do you think we could get him on here for our "asexual health" stuff? Link to post Share on other sites
2tabbymom Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 This doctor doesn't seem to realize that many asexual women have quite strong libidos and plenty of testosterone. (If I had any more, I would look like a werewolf!) Link to post Share on other sites
Goonie Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 hey at least it is some forward progress Link to post Share on other sites
thylacine Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 I agree with Goonie. At least it's progress. Link to post Share on other sites
inVivo Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 I take testosterone, and it does not make me want to have sex!!!!!!!!!! It may enhance desires one has, nothing more. Link to post Share on other sites
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