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I want a "designated companion."


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Just now, Meh31 said:

I get it.  I am still married and she has a boyfriend.  I just want to meet people that are asexual.  Be friends and you never know after that.

I’m in Indy!!

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Stargirl444
On 6/20/2023 at 1:35 PM, alto said:

I am in Cali.

Me too! 🦋

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  • 3 weeks later...

100%

 

I want someone to go to metal concerts with me, see movies, do all those things couples do.

but I think given that I have spent a lot of time having surgery and being ill, really I just want someone to give a shit. Someone to kick me up the backside when it comes to my meds and dealing with the arfid. someone I can fall apart in front of and for them to trust me enough to feel like they can do the same.

 

it's difficult because I am generally introverted and it takes me time to trust anyone. but I'd like someone to talk to and to share the journey with.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Do you like cats? Lol, I think a lot of us would welcome a designated companion. I somehow got elected to take care of my aging parents because, “you don’t have kids”. Don’t get me wrong, I have wonderful parents.

 

as an aside, yes Jay, there IS a word for mixed up sexual…it’s ‘normal’

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Someone needs to create a 'designated companion' finding app, like a dating app! 🙂

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Sounds ideal to me too, but I've been on my own for so long I may now be 'difficult to live with' 😄 or in other words, too set in my ways. As for being a lodger/having a lodger; I can't think of anything worse. I've been there, done that, never again. My home is my personal space, a place of 'safety' where I can fully be myself and I will only ever share this with a partner, not with some relatively random stranger who is looking for somewhere to live. It can work out well, I know, but it's too much of a 'luck of the draw' thing for me. Or... maybe I'm just too picky 😅

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On 8/1/2023 at 6:24 AM, Sevhina said:

as an aside, yes Jay, there IS a word for mixed up sexual…it’s ‘normal’

That's what I was thinking 😄 I've never met anyone without 'problems' in that area. (lucky me/us for being asexual. weehee!)

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51 minutes ago, Acing It said:

Sounds ideal to me too, but I've been on my own for so long I may now be 'difficult to live with' 😄 or in other words, too set in my ways. As for being a lodger/having a lodger; I can't think of anything worse. I've been there, done that, never again. My home is my personal space, a place of 'safety' where I can fully be myself and I will only ever share this with a partner, not with some relatively random stranger who is looking for somewhere to live. It can work out well, I know, but it's too much of a 'luck of the draw' thing for me. Or... maybe I'm just too picky 😅

I hear you. :) 

 

Same for me about being on my own for so long, difficult to live with, set in my ways, etc. Also, agree about the idea of a lodger. I don't even like guests except for a very few select people.

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Designated companion sounds like a great idea. I'm down for that. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I’ve been thinking a lot about this subject. I’m a female who’s always been with men. Both of my husbands have passed. I’ve only felt “comfortable” having sex with one person my entire life, decades ago, a young man, and that was long before I married. I’m more attracted to women, but have no interest in sex with either. I have a great desire to meet an easy going, independent, capable, intelligent, mature woman with whom to have a romantic, but asexual relationship. I’ve never been able to sleep with my husbands. They were very noisy and clumsy in bed. I couldn’t sleep. And I developed an aversion to touching because even a hug would inspire arousal. I want to feel open to simple touch again. I want to warmly hug without turning my head and sticking my butt out. I have this fantasy of finding someone with whom to pursue interests together and apart. It’s a fantasy, but I want it. I want love though. Everyone has fleas, but love makes less than perfect traits easier to accept. I’m extremely easy to live with, but I have no patience with ignorance, laziness or addictions. What kills me is I know that person is out there, but how to find her, or him really? Without the fear of arousal, I can see myself with the right man as well, actually. 
 

The reason I’m leaning more toward a woman is, I just got out of a situation with a male friend. He was a lovely man, but again, snored like a bear, maybe worse. I had him stay in a guest room down the hall and he still woke me up with sudden snorts, strange bursts and coughing. His pillows were covered in slobber in the morning. But one can’t control how they sleep. He told me he would only require sex very infrequently, once a month perhaps, so after a year, I gave it a shot last week and am still traumatized by the experience. I will never be able to see him again. It was boring, gross and ridiculous. I cringe thinking about it. And now that he’s gone, I feel such relief. No more fear of his slobbering desires. I see it as pathetic, but understand it’s only natural for most people. I had to control my anger when he walked through the house naked, forcing me to see him. Just awful, but he’s a sensitive, frustrated man giving his all to make me want him. I didn’t want to damage his ego, so acted like I didn’t see him. In retrospect, I’m kind of angry about that. Thank goodness what happened did happen, or I’d still be trying to accept him and he’d be deprived of what is only natural for him to desire. I should never have entertained the idea. But isn’t that what we’re talking about here? Finding someone compatible to enjoy life with? Mostly, he was good company. I gave it a shot and now realize I need love as well. 
 

Very long winded, I know. Guess I really needed to get that out. 
 

I hope the universe sends me a really cool companion who wants a sensual, but asexual life with the likes of me. But living alone is far superior to walking on eggs. And I do have a lot of wonderful friends. And much that keeps me busy and entertained. However, companionship is a beautiful thing. 

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  • 6 months later...

Sounds lovely! I am 68 and alone. Would dearly love a companion such as that! But where/how can I find such a person? Is there a way to connect with other asexuals nearby?

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jay williams
On 2/25/2024 at 3:24 AM, Bonney said:

Sounds lovely! I am 68 and alone. Would dearly love a companion such as that! But where/how can I find such a person? Is there a way to connect with other asexuals nearby?

We exist. I would like to go on a cruise somewhere, but I hate doing it entirely alone.  That is another topic. I have combed the many dating and friendship sites in the world. I have given up on trying to communicate with anyone. But I still look and dream. Here is what I know. There are, and always have been, more males looking than females. When I was really young, there were zillions of males looking for far fewer females. Women in their late 30s to early 50s were the most plentiful when it comes to comparitive ratios (closer to 50-50) . At the other end of the spectrum, the older you are, the greater the number of males are looking, and the fewer females. Women in their 70s or 80s, looking for a male companion are as scarce as the proverbial "hen's teeth."
So look through any of these singles and dating sites. Many, many men are out there. Make it clear from the beginning what you want, and don't want. No intercourse, fornication, or genital sex. Impotent men, asexual men, or perhaps homosexual men are very welcome! There are men (including me) who are as averse to sex as many of you nice asexual women are! Make sure you specify a single man, and repeat that the man must be not-married----unless of course you welcome a married man, in which case you would likely really hit the jackpot! LOL
 

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  • 4 weeks later...

This is exactly what I want. I would call it my own designated human or biffle [BFFL - Best Friend For Life], more than a friend, but nothing romantic or sexual. Just someone to share life with. ; w;

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