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Support for my bestie


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My best friend recently came out as ace, and while I'm not sure of her romantic orientation I want to know how I can support her. I'm bisexual so really the complete opposite of her. What ways can I make her feel seen and loved? 

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Sarah-Sylvia

Hi.
It's great that you want to understand and make her feel supported. The best thing, imo, is to talk with her so that you can understand how she is herself. Asexuals are very diverse and she's probably the best to share about herself for that ;)

I can only try to speak from my own feelings maybe.. I know it would mean a lot if a friend said to me they want me to feel supported. There's not much they could do, but it'd mean something. I guess one thing that asexuals don't like is when someone says things around that it just takes to meet the right person and stuff like that. It's kind of dismissive. Having a friend to talk to can be nice if ever something comes up, not a lot of people understand asexuality.

For me someone bisexual doesn't feel opposite because I'm biromantic. So it feels more just like I'm not interested in someone sexually, but all the rest can be there.

If I had a friend that wanted to be supportive of how I'm on the asexual spectrum, I would only want them to know that I don't like to talk about sexual things that much, and that I can feel a little left out when friends talk around it a lot. If it's a little, it's not a big deal, but if it happens a lot it can be not so great. Someone asexual also might miss when someone is making sexual references, though I guess that's just something to know and there's not much to do about that except not expect them to know things like that :P

 

I can't think of much else, but I hope it goes well between you two :)
And welcome to the site :D.

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Your "bestie" is lucky to have a friend like you.  I can't tell anyone that I know, really.  It's too bad, but I can't.

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Yeah, it will depend on the individual and what kind of support they want.

 

For me, I'd probably want them to not just act as if I never said anything or for them to never mention it again. I think I'd want them to acknowledge it, ask questions to better understand my position, and learn how to talk about, joke about it, and make it part of who I am. Others might prefer if it faded into the background or was never talked about much ever again.

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Thanks everyone! I've never really been able to find a time to talk to her about it because we're always at school and covid has kind of prevented us from going out. I'll invite her on my dog walk at the weekend and have a conversation with her then. 

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What helped me a lot was talking about questions I had about sexuality, what was considered normal, how hormones funtion and influence you. As a sexual person you may have a different experience and view to offer on these questions, if they are interested

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