Future

[carnival_of_lights]

I need positive older aroace representation. It seems that all my friends have hopes and dreams for the future and I just can't imagine anything. I've read some books with young adult aroace rep which are really great but they also lack the sort of hopes or knowledge of what the character wants when they get older.

 

I just feel really alone and I can't imagine a future where I stop feeling lonely. Like I have a job path in mind and I know what I want in terms of that aspect of my life, but I'm in no way a workaholic, I want a home life too - one where I don't live alone. I need to believe I will find someone who wants the same things as me from a platonic view. Everyone around me is so caught up on romance that I just can't see that happening. Even my friends who are the best and so supportive of me - I get the feeling that as soon as they find a partner I'll not be their top priority (not quite sure if that's the right way to say it). I just need a love that doesn't feel like it's always the other people's second choice. 

 

I'm sorry for the rant and if this doesn't make much sense, I'm not very good at getting my thoughts into actual readable language.

[Stormy_E]

I feel the same way. I hope you get a reply, because I'm sure we're not the only ones with this problem.

 

I often get upset thinking about how my friends won't be able to prioritise their friendships over their romantic relationships, especially in the future once they 'find the one' and settle down. I tend to think I'll be forgotten about and left behind. It's difficult when friendships are the pinnacle of relationships for me, even though I've tried so hard in the past to find someone who could 'fix me'. It's just not the same for people who want to be / are comfortable with being in relationships like that.

To be honest, it's happening at the moment already, which sucks because I'm still young and it just clarifies all of those fears.

[carnival_of_lights]

16 minutes ago, Stormy_E said:

To be honest, it's happening at the moment already, which sucks because I'm still young and it just clarifies all of those fears.

That really does suck. My friend was in a relationship a while ago which was the first time I properly realised how important all that stuff is to people. It's safe to say I was very left out until they broke up and I was the one left offering comfort and picking up the pieces. We've grown as friends since then but I don't doubt that it could happen again. I do empathise with you as I remember how much it hurt me.

*insert hug gif which I can't figure out how to attach* 

[OIive]

Same here. I really want to hear someone's encouraging stories. 

 

Since you two made some bad experiences we already must admit that not everything is going to turn out well still I really hope you're going to find some people who you really can rely on or that your friends are going to be more considerate.

I also want to share some positive experiences you possibly will have in the future as well. I'm friends with a couple and also have a friend in a relationship that is well functioning and I don't feel left out.

I guess as long as they give each other some  space and don't just focus on their partner all the time it's gonna be okay. 

So keep your hopes up, noone should ditch you.

[Milque Toast]

I remember being scared for a long time about what my home life would be like when I was older when I realised I was asexual. At the time, I assumed there would be no one close enough in my life who also happened to be asexual. Even now, I'd rather just live with my brother when I'm older, since we're really close friends. But these days, it's looking up a lot more, I imagine I'd meet my QPR soul-mate at an asexual/aromantic meet up or somewhere here on AVEN. Honestly, there are a million ways to meet people, but it won't hurt to try and find others like you! With awareness spreading more and more about asexual and aromantic people, we'll only get an increase in numbers over the years, due to people finally understanding they are asexual, and not "broken".