New York Times survey on whether people want to become parents. Let's have Ace folks represented!

[sirenian]

I saw today the New York Times is running a survey for people in their 20s, 30s, and 40s asking questions about whether people are parents and/or want to become parents and what their reasons are.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/06/podcasts/us-census-birthrate.html

 

Because the ways that people form families is often related to the ways that they choose to/choose not to have children, and because sexual identity and orientation is a factor that influences how people choose to form families, I think it's important to have people of all orientations participating in surveys like this one, so I wanted to post it here in case anyone wants to participate.

 

Note that it is not anonymous.  To take part in a New York Times survey requires that you give your name and contact information, because they are doing journalism, not just an opinion poll.  So, only go to take the survey if you are comfortable sharing your information.  (Although they will only publish your information with your consent.)

[LeChat]

Ah; darn. I wish they would've allowed anonymous answers, in case some people have very personally revealing responses that could, possibly, have negative repercussions for them at their job/job search, such as admitting that they had/have a disability or mental health issue; grew up abused, etc., that might've factored into why they didn't want to have children.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

Why do you need three "reasons"? Isn't "I don't want to" enough? I wish everyone would stop assuming you must have concrete reasons for not wanting sprogs, rather than just assume wanting them is the default.

[Guest]

54 minutes ago, LeChat said:

Ah; darn. I wish they would've allowed anonymous answers, in case some people have very personally revealing responses that could, possibly, have negative repercussions for them at their job/job search, such as admitting that they had/have a disability or mental health issue; grew up abused, etc., that might've factored into why they didn't want to have children.

Yeah like very few people will say "I didn't want kids but also refused to get an abortion" or something similar when they're revealing their real name and stuff. So the results will make it look like a high percentage of people actively planned to have a family etc.. when a lot of the time kids are truly an accident, or even the result of being forced, and not being able to face abortion or the idea of giving the kid up to face an unknown future. People in those latter groups are much less likely to answer a non-anonymous survey though.

[A User]

does anyone on aven own j@gmail.com

because I may/may not have sent a confirmation email to an email I thought of in my head LMAO

[everywhere and nowhere]

2 hours ago, LeChat said:

Ah; darn. I wish they would've allowed anonymous answers, in case some people have very personally revealing responses that could, possibly, have negative repercussions for them at their job/job search, such as admitting that they had/have a disability or mental health issue; grew up abused, etc., that might've factored into why they didn't want to have children.

In a lot of cases journalists may anyway sure, contact a real person - but publish their testimony under a false name. There is no need to publish your personal story under a real name if you don't feel comfortable doing so.

[Sally]

Asexuals as a group don't have a wish to have or not have children.  We are individuals.  

[daveb]

20 hours ago, sirenian said:

a survey for people in their 20s, 30s, and 40s

That leaves me out.  

[Acing It]

You can always put slightly fictitious contact details and location details in there. As the OP said, it's journalism.

BTW; Carver???? WTF... Is that a common name in the US? In Europe it would be 'poor kid'.

[Phalena]

I'm with @Anthracite_Impreza. Why do I need three reasons to not wanting children but only one to have them? It should be the other way around. People need to think much more about whether or not they'd actually make remotely decent parents.

[LeChat]

14 hours ago, Phalena said:

I'm with @Anthracite_Impreza. Why do I need three reasons to not wanting children but only one to have them?...

I'd guess because demographers might already know or be more familiar with people's reasons for becoming parents, than those who don't want children.

[Phalena]

40 minutes ago, LeChat said:

I'd guess because demographers might already know or be more familiar with people's reasons for becoming parents, than those who don't want children.

What would such reasons be? 🤔 I can't really think of any reason that's not inherently selfish like: "I want a part of me to survive me.", "I want to be loved unconditionally", "I want an heir".

[Red Sun Rises]

I am a foster parent and intend to adopt if possible.  A family has always been what I want, just without a sexual or romantic partner.  

13 hours ago, Phalena said:

What would such reasons be? 🤔 I can't really think of any reason that's not inherently selfish like: "I want a part of me to survive me.", "I want to be loved unconditionally", "I want an heir".

I want to be a parent because I want to give a loving home to kids who wouldn't otherwise have that.  I enjoy children.  And of course I enjoy being loved, there is no true altruism in the world lol.  But I don't think all the reasons are inherently selfish.

[sirenian]

On 5/6/2021 at 11:30 PM, Sally said:

Asexuals as a group don't have a wish to have or not have children.  We are individuals.  

I hope you weren't implying that I (op) thought that we are not all individuals?  Of course we are! 

 

What I do think, though, is that there are many stereotypes about the kinds of families that people with different kinds of sexual identities can have or want to have, and I think it's important to counter those stereotypes.

One way we can do that is to provide voices of people who identify as ace and who choose to have different kinds of families.

[Sally]

20 hours ago, sirenian said:

What I do think, though, is that there are many stereotypes about the kinds of families that people with different kinds of sexual identities can have or want to have, and I think it's important to counter those stereotypes.

One way we can do that is to provide voices of people who identify as ace and who choose to have different kinds of families.

But to do so as aces would play into the stereotype that because we don't want to have sex, we are different from sexuals in all other aspects.  We're not, which is what I meant by saying that we are individuals.   There used to be a stereotype about gays not wanting children because they were gay, which was proven to be false once gays were  allowed to adopt, and have children through surrogacy.