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Who have you "come out" to?


Coleslaw

Who have you "come out" to?  

  1. 1.

    • If they know me, they know I'm A.
      15
    • My family knows, but not my friends.
      4
    • My friends know, but not my family.
      43
    • It's mixed (Some family, some friends)
      54
    • Only my significant other knows.
      5
    • No one (save AVENites) knows.
      47

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Well it's kind of divided into two different worlds for me.

Offline, only a couple of people know, one is my sister and another is my best friend.

On the Internet, just about everyone knows.

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Actually, I did share this website with a friend of mine who is also Asexual... but I haven't come out to anybody else since.

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Just to one close friend, that's all. He just asked alot of questions out of curiosity trying to understand what it meant, and told me he was happy for me, that I might have realised something about myself. :)

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Officially, outside of AVEN, I have not identified myself as asexual (though I have an "Asexual" userbar on my home page (among all the others)). But my family and close friends would likely not be surprised if they were to discover this site and then learn that I count myself among them, as they know of my overall lack of interest in sex. I just haven't bothered to use the label.

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No one except AVENites know. I want to put off telling my mother for a few years. (She already says all the time she thinks I probably won't get married or have children, but I don't know if the already suspects I'm asexual, or thinks that's because I prefer to keep to myself most of the time and don't tend to form close relationships, or both. Either way, I won't have to deal with it until I go to college, when she'll probably ask me if I'm dating.) I'm active on another forum, I've been a member literally from the first day (it'll be two years in March), and I'm considering coming out to a few of them I really trust. I know they won't have a problem with it, they might be a little confused, but they're very accepting. We have two bisexuals that I know of, and people from all different religions and cultures, and everyone gets along great. I don't really feel it's necessary to come out to anyone right now, but I kind of want to share this with them. Just tell them how happy I am to have found AVEN and figured out that I'm not alone, all that.

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My mom, a few professors, and a few close friends. My coming out policy is generally that if a subject comes up in conversation that makes it relevant for a person to know, I'm open and forthright, but it's none of most people's business in my everyday life. It seems inexpedient to have conversations that play out like: "I'm asexual." "So?"

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I've never used the word "asexual" in a conversation, so no.

On the other hand, I'm open about the fact that I don't date and I don't engage in sex-based conversations. . . so I figure my inclinations are obvious. That's all that anyone needs to know. People can think what they want about them. ;)

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Most of my immediate family knows except for my dad. He knows that I don't date and I never plan to have sex, and he's completely okay with this, so I'm just gonna keep the 'a' word out of this. As for my extended family, none of them know. I've tried to tell a few of them, but none of them take me seriously. All I get is, "You haven't met the right person yet." or "You'll grow out of it."

I wouldn't feel comfortable telling anyone at school about it. A lot of them aren't even tolerant of homosexuals. I'd hate to see what they'd do to me if they found out.

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I've never used the word "asexual" in a conversation, so no.

On the other hand, I'm open about the fact that I don't date and I don't engage in sex-based conversations. . . so I figure my inclinations are obvious. That's all that anyone needs to know. People can think what they want about them. ;)

This is an apt description for my case, although when my friend asked I said I was "heterosexual with asexual tendencies," which is close to how I describe myself. I think I'd rather describe myself as just "with asexual tendencies," but, ah, I'm rambling now.

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Nico-Nico Friendo

A few of my friends know, but they don't mind because we're all a bunch of oddballs anyway. :mrgreen: We always joke that we're crazy, so I guess it doesn't seem to be all that surprising to them. They just accept me for who I am, and I accept them for who they are. I want my friends to know they can feel free and comfortable around me, and that they can be honest and open with their thoughts and feelings. I encourage them to think for themselves and to feel free to ask questions and discuss or debate issues (with maturity and civility, that is). Those kind of friendships are rare, I know, so I try my best to cultivate them when I find the opportunity. :)

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I have not told anyone. Most people think what they want about me and I don't really care. My family and friends think I am gay. Coworkers think I am straight. I just found AVEN last week. I never thought of myself has asexual before. Suddenly everthing makes sense. I am still coming out in my own head.

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I told my friends, but not my family, because I know they'll pull that "Oh, you'll grow into it" crap. Especially my mother, who can't seem to realise that sex and love do not, in fact, go hand-in-hand.

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Nico-Nico Friendo

Yeah. I can't talk to my parents about a lot of serious topics (or trivial topics, either, come to think of it :? ).

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smellincoffee

Only my sister knows, thus far. She asked what forums I was browsing, and I told her. She's used to being my confidante; she's also the only family member who knows I'm no longer religious.

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I said "some family, some friends," but it's probably almost everyone. Most of my friends do know, but it honestly doesn't come up often. In my family only my dad's used the a-word, but they all know I'm not interested in sex, relationships really, or having kids of my own.

*shrug* I may not be completely out of the pantry, but the door's wide open if anyone's looking.

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I may not be completely out of the pantry, but the door's wide open if anyone's looking.

I like that. I'm similar... If people ask, I tell. If it comes up, I tell. The only people I won't be telling for a while are my parents...

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I should also point out that I'm fairly outspoken about not being straight. . .and confusion over the fact that I'm not out a-courtin' the ladies, then, is usually what gets the ball rolling.

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"I'm asexual." "So?"

*nod*

That's how it went with two of the three close friends I told. "...huh. That's interesting. Hey, look! Bunnies!."

But yeah, I told three of my friends, and also posted about it on another board I frequent (in the mod-only forum, to avoid a@#holes).

I'm firmly closeted when it comes to my family, though. I'd rather not pay a visit to the local shrink.

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Hardly any people know about my asexuality, and in most circumstances, I don't need to tell them. I like my tea with milk and two sugars, but unless someone offers to make me a cup, it's irrelevant information. I think about my asexuality in the same way, so I only bring it up if the conversation requires it.

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If they know me, they know I'm both a and gay (hey, it rhymes :D )

It's not like I actually came out to anyone, like birdnerd's example, but over time everyone's figured it out in one way or another. I do use "asexual" in normal conversation a lot, and it's just one of those unspoken understandings. Although a lot of times we'll be talking and one of my friends will say something like "Well, Amanda, that's because you're asexual!" Although those are usually during my friends' lovely sexual conversations (Like my friend, Cookie, who COTL met... :lol: Amusing)

If they haven't figured it out, and I have no reason to tell them, then I really don't care.

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Hardly any people know about my asexuality, and in most circumstances, I don't need to tell them. I like my tea with milk and two sugars, but unless someone offers to make me a cup, it's irrelevant information. I think about my asexuality in the same way, so I only bring it up if the conversation requires it.

he he he. I like the way you put that!

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Everyone knows I'm asexual. People I don't know who know my friends go, "Oooohhhh, you're the ASEXUAL ooooone!" and proceed to question me.

:D But in general, I don't tell people unless it's relevant to a conversation. People just tend to know before I tell them. It's nice.

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