rrahibe Posted April 24, 2021 Share Posted April 24, 2021 İf u allosexual would u date an asexual one?if you do.. with what conditions? Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 Moved to For Sexual Partners, Friends and Allies Janus DarkFox Cover Welcome Lounge, Tea and Sympathy/(h)AVEN, Weekends Asexual Relationships, Current Questions about Asexuality, Asexual Musings and Rantings & Open Mic Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
uhtred Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 In general I wouldn't recommend it. For most allosexuals, sex and mutual desire are an important part of of love and romance. An asexual can never give them that desire, and depending on their feelings, may not want to engage in sex at all. Its a big world with billions of people. Why get into a relationship with a major incompatibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 12 hours ago, rrahibe said: İf u allosexual would u date an asexual one?if you do.. with what conditions? I am not asexual.. but I'm probably not what would be called 'allosexual' ..I would definitely date an asexual person though Link to post Share on other sites
TurnedTurtle Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 For me, I guess it would depend on what you mean by dating. I would be happy to hang out and do stuff together as friends, but if I knew the person was asexual, I would not be interested in getting into (or trying to get into, or exploring the possibility of) a committed romantic relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 No. Been there, done that. That was my first relationship (marriage). I was unsure of my own sexuality at the time and thought it would be fine, and there were other reasons it wasn't the right match (we make good platonic friends, though), but yeah I can't do a relationship without mutual sexual desire. It's too important to me in a romantic partnership. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 Maybe. But they would have to be basically non-libidoist as well. I couldn't take no interest in me but getting off to other people. Link to post Share on other sites
Traveler40 Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 Platonic friendship would be my limit. and what @cbc said.....(I wanted to reference the last two sentences, but damn Ceebs! Is that second to last sentence a run-on or what? 🙄🤣) Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 5 minutes ago, Traveler40 said: (I wanted to reference the last two sentences, but damn Ceebs! Is that second to last sentence a run-on or what? 🙄🤣) Aha, that's nothing. I am skilled at verbosity. 😂 Link to post Share on other sites
anisotrophic Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 What’s dating? Being friends? If someone is supportive & validating of me having sexuality, I’m happy to be friends & that can be as emotionally & physically intimate as is mutually comfortable. I’m not going to connect and warm up to someone based on sex. But also, I’m (cf reasons below) not going to be “exclusive” in any sense. I’m pretty time limited, being married & a parent already, if I’m out dating it’s not ideal for me to be forming yet another strong interpersonal connection with someone that isn’t with a person I can have sex with & desires to do that with me. Link to post Share on other sites
uhtred Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 I’m assuming “date” implies a romantic context. Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 Yeah I don't call my interactions with platonic friends 'dating'. Unless maybe you're in that weird middle ground where you're trying to figure out wtf is going on with a friend and it's clearly not solely platonic (and to be fair, I've had about three of those situations in my life lol), there's enough of a difference that 'dating' would not be the right word to me... Link to post Share on other sites
rrahibe Posted April 25, 2021 Author Share Posted April 25, 2021 23 hours ago, rrahibe said: İf u allosexual would u date an asexual one?if you do.. with what conditions? Guys what i mean is that being in a relationship more like serious things Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 1 hour ago, rrahibe said: Guys what i mean is that being in a relationship more like serious things Also no... definite no. Link to post Share on other sites
SusannaC Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 1 hour ago, rrahibe said: Guys what i mean is that being in a relationship more like serious things I am sexual and I would only have a platonic relationship with such a person. A “serious”romantic relationship involves sexual activity for me. Link to post Share on other sites
R_1 Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 Not sexual. If I had interest into you, and I know you for a while (a year or so) and if I feel that you're into me, I would just say I'm asexual so you can decide where to go from there. Easier for both of us. I know a lot of people need sex to be fulfilled, and it's not something I will be willing to give unless I know someone much more longer. Link to post Share on other sites
brbdogsonfire Posted April 26, 2021 Share Posted April 26, 2021 I'm allosexual dating an asexual. I would consider it but I'd have to feel a very strong connection with someone to consider it again. Link to post Share on other sites
the game Posted April 26, 2021 Share Posted April 26, 2021 Don't asexuals have a heart? :)) Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted April 26, 2021 Share Posted April 26, 2021 3 minutes ago, Çiçek said: Don't asexuals have a heart? :)) ?? Link to post Share on other sites
the game Posted April 26, 2021 Share Posted April 26, 2021 Anyone who hears that he is asexual asks the question, do you ever be dating someone. We are so misunderstood that we don't seem to have feelings Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted April 26, 2021 Share Posted April 26, 2021 3 hours ago, Çiçek said: Anyone who hears that he is asexual asks the question, do you ever be dating someone. We are so misunderstood that we don't seem to have feelings The OP is asking sexuals whether they would date asexuals, not making some statement that aces can't be romantic (though some are not romantic of course, and that doesn't mean they don't have a 'heart'. Love is not exclusive to romance). Link to post Share on other sites
TurnedTurtle Posted April 26, 2021 Share Posted April 26, 2021 Of course many ace people have feelings and want to love and be loved, just like anyone else. Allosexuals do, too, but for many of us the concepts of loving and being loved, in the context of a committed romantic relationship, are inextricably tied to sex, at some level. Without some sexual component to such a relationship, we feel a huge hole. Many of the allosexuals responding to the opening question are, I think, a bit older and have come to know of asexuality in the context of an already existing relationship, that was entered into not knowing what asexuality is or that the partner was asexual (and probably the partner didn't know about this either). We feel that huge hole. So we are answering the question knowing what we know now, about ourselves and about asexuality (such as we understand it). Link to post Share on other sites
RalphEllison Posted April 26, 2021 Share Posted April 26, 2021 4 hours ago, Çiçek said: Don't asexuals have a heart? :)) I have no doubt that people who are asexual have a heart. Informed by my current pain, though, I'd say "no", I would not date a person who identifies as asexual. Not because that person doesn't have a heart, but because I also have a heart that needs protecting. Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted April 26, 2021 Share Posted April 26, 2021 Having a Heart, being Heartless...? I've played too much Kingdom Hearts lol But of course aces have a heart, being just as capable of having one regardless of sexuaity and other identities. Link to post Share on other sites
Killua Posted April 27, 2021 Share Posted April 27, 2021 Edit: lmao I COMPETELY read that title backwards. Sorry about that Link to post Share on other sites
DemonicEnby Posted April 27, 2021 Share Posted April 27, 2021 Depends really if there was a fitting compromise possible. It would surely not be easy, but going completely sexless? That might be too much, on the other hand if the connection was emotionally strong, maybe. It's an interesting mind game but in reality I'm neither allo nor interested in dating at all. Link to post Share on other sites
the game Posted April 27, 2021 Share Posted April 27, 2021 For an asexual person, a real relationship will of course be difficult. It's like a mind game as you said. I think that if there is a strong friendship at the basis of this relationship, love will come naturally Link to post Share on other sites
rrahibe Posted April 27, 2021 Author Share Posted April 27, 2021 8 hours ago, Janus DarkFox said: Having a Heart, being Heartless...? I've played too much Kingdom Hearts lol But of course aces have a heart, being just as capable of having one regardless of sexuaity and other identities. Sameeeee Link to post Share on other sites
Undecided2 Posted April 27, 2021 Share Posted April 27, 2021 I'm an allosexual married to an asexual (but didn't find put about their asexuality until recently). But if we break up, would I date an asexual? No. Sometimes I wish i didn't find sex so important though Link to post Share on other sites
the game Posted April 27, 2021 Share Posted April 27, 2021 Well, did she tell you she was asexual before she got married? Does this situation negatively affect your life Link to post Share on other sites
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