Depressed Muffin Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 Crack Cake!! You wouldn't hide anything from me, right? I see the coffee cake you just sold was a little bit too expensive. I don't mind making a little more money, but are you absolutely sure you are ONLY selling cakes? And clean the weird vomit on the floor! Link to post Share on other sites
Depressed Muffin Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 @Sean_Bird Oooh, I see you have a little friend with you today! So cute. Seems like it had a little accident, is it ok?? Link to post Share on other sites
Depressed Muffin Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 9 hours ago, Torrence Kieran said: Hey @Depressed Muffin! Do I have to be nice to the customers? Some of them deserve a little spit in their tea. Are you fluffin kidding me?? You absolutely have to be nice and absolutely not spitting into anything! Just because you think you are a vampire doesn't mean that you are something better than our guests! Link to post Share on other sites
Depressed Muffin Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 9 hours ago, trifasciata said: Do you want me to stay insane? Yo @Depressed Muffin, would you mind giving me a raise? I dyed my hair blond, just to get some gossip about your store, I mean, that is dedication! I know I've only worked here for a few hours, but you can tell how hard working I am! I might not tell Tea Weekly that you underpay your employees, and keep live...er...creatures? With the ingredients if you give me more money. You are correct, I WOULD MIND. You didn't even know how to prepare Meng Ding Yu Ye Chang Chun! Link to post Share on other sites
Depressed Muffin Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 9 hours ago, Crack Cake said: If that thing vomits on one of the crack cakes I will make it eat the whole thing, and there is what one might say is "too much" crack in those cakes Vomits on WHAT??? Link to post Share on other sites
Depressed Muffin Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 7 hours ago, Artemis42 said: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ... idk what to sayyy Oh God what if that baby bird thing throws up into the tea what the frick happens then? How could it get into a tea, it can't even walk on the floor? Link to post Share on other sites
Depressed Muffin Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 7 hours ago, Unleash the Echidnas said: We lose money since we have to replace or refund the spoiled tea. And clean the pot. And catch the bird thing. And apologize to disgruntled customers. And deal with bad online reviews. At least one person here cares about tea and customers. I believe you will keep the shop clean and all the tea safe. Link to post Share on other sites
Depressed Muffin Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 6 hours ago, løvely said: løvely is completely unaware of Crack Cake's black market crack cake business, and comes out just after her most recent transaction, having finished organizing boxes of tea in the back room. They sway over to the register and start to tidy up there while Crack Cake is still behind the counter. Crack Cake winces, hoping that løvely will not find the stash of crack cakes because she knows that they would feel guilty not telling Depressed Muffin about it. They do notice, however, but don't say anything about it and opens the compartment to carefully clean around the crack cakes. Crack Cake breathes a sigh of relief at løvely's nonchalance about the crack cake stash and hopes that they will keep their mouth shut. Thankfully for Crack Cake, confronting Depressed Muffin is an even more anxiety inducing thing to do than not telling. Are you ok? You seem a little nervous. Have some lavender. Link to post Share on other sites
Oberon Jasper Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 38 minutes ago, Depressed Muffin said: Are you fluffin kidding me?? You absolutely have to be nice and absolutely not spitting into anything! Just because you think you are a vampire doesn't mean that you are something better than our guests! Ughhhhh... fiiinnneee.... no spit... hot pepper flakes it is then. Link to post Share on other sites
quadfasciata Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 2 hours ago, Depressed Muffin said: You are correct, I WOULD MIND. You didn't even know how to prepare Meng Ding Yu Ye Chang Chun! I do too! You put a packet of black tea and some green beans in a cup, and then lie to the customer! They can't tell the difference! Link to post Share on other sites
crazy ace Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 8 hours ago, løvely said: Crack Cake's black market crack cake business I'm the one who runs the lab to make the crack for @Crack Cake's Crack Cake business. As I start with the coca plant, I also surreptitiously sell coca tea, although it's a secret menu item: you need to know it's there to buy it. gazes into the far off distance, in this case, the opposing wall: Quote I was once known far and wide, as the "tea master." I could make nigh-anything into a tea, from pies, to sandwiches, to a winter's day, to an old book... Some said that I stretched even the bounds of reali-tea. But now, I am forced to make simple brews, with my greatest art only being coca tea. *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
Depressed Muffin Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 2 hours ago, trifasciata said: I do too! You put a packet of black tea and some green beans in a cup, and then lie to the customer! They can't tell the difference! Green beans?? What the hell. Nope! You put 4g of the tea (it's a green tea, btw.) into a gaiwan, serve it with 70 °C water in the glass cha hai and a thermos full of 100 °C water. Then politely ask the customer if they need you to explain what to do. If they say yes, then you show them the first infusion and explain they have to wait for the water to be 70°C, then let infuse in the gaiwan for 15 sec, show them how to pour the tea out of the gaiwan into the cha hai, then they repeat the process and slowly increase the time. Is that so hard to remember? Link to post Share on other sites
Depressed Muffin Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 48 minutes ago, crazy ace said: I was once known far and wide, as the "tea master." I could make nigh-anything into a tea, from pies, to sandwiches, to a winter's day, to an old book... Some said that I stretched even the bounds of reali-tea. But now, I am forced to make simple brews, with my greatest art only being coca tea. *sigh* My tea philosophy is a little bit different, but maybe it can cheer you up. Modern human is used to simple artificial flavors with a ton of sugar, so when they look for tea they want something flavored like a strawberry cheesecake and a sugar shaker. We offer these kinds of tea too, but I'm extremely picky and only buy natural flavors, no chemical crap. But my heart beats for true unflavored tea leaves, with a complex taste profile without anything being added to them. I have this tea that has natural notes of maple syrup and forest fruits. Or this one that taste like meadow flowers and the aroma stays in your mouth a long after you are done drinking. Or this gorgeous tea that tastes like it's mixed with smooth white chocolate. And all of that is just in the tea leaves as they grow, and then skillfully complimented by the perfect time of oxidation, rolling, drying, sometimes baking etc. But those kinds of tea are for people who listen. Who can be quiet. Because it only whispers. It's a true art and drinking such a tea feels like sitting with a dear friend who quietly tells you stories from their life. Every infusion is a little different and tells you a part of the story. I don't know what you are used to from other shops, but this is how my shop works. Let me know what you need, and I can teach you. And introduce all the beautiful tea leaves. Welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
crazy ace Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 4 hours ago, Depressed Muffin said: You are correct, I WOULD MIND. You didn't even know how to prepare Meng Ding Yu Ye Chang Chun! Meng Ding Yu Ye Chang Chun: Invented by a man named Meng Yu Ye Chang, the tea must be harvested in India near the Chang river in the spring, and must be prepared in a Ding-style ceramic container. Yu is a typical name for a physician, and likewise, the tea has healing properties. Ye means 'leaf,' a reference to the green tea leaves in use. Meng was the first son of his family and created this tea and the process of making it as a way to cure addictions to psychotropic stimulants. 33 minutes ago, Depressed Muffin said: gaiwan, serve it with 70 °C water in the glass cha hai and a thermos full of 100 °C water. gaiwan and cha hai? close, but no cigar. Link to post Share on other sites
Depressed Muffin Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 3 hours ago, Torrence Kieran said: Ughhhhh... fiiinnneee.... no spit... hot pepper flakes it is then. How about some garlic flakes into your tea, huh? Mister vampire? These teenagers, they should really rather work in a Starbucks. Link to post Share on other sites
crazy ace Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 10 minutes ago, Depressed Muffin said: I don't know what you are used to from other shops, but this is how my shop works. I can... certainly work with this. Link to post Share on other sites
Depressed Muffin Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 2 minutes ago, crazy ace said: Meng Ding Yu Ye Chang Chun: Invented by a man named Meng Yu Ye Chang, the tea must be harvested in India near the Chang river in the spring, and must be prepared in a Ding-style ceramic container. Yu is a typical name for a physician, and likewise, the tea has healing properties. Ye means 'leaf,' a reference to the green tea leaves in use. Meng was the first son of his family and created this tea and the process of making it as a way to cure addictions to psychotropic stimulants. (If my actual teatenders saw my face as I was reading this, they would be dead laughing 😂😂 ) Link to post Share on other sites
Depressed Muffin Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 6 minutes ago, crazy ace said: Meng Ding Yu Ye Chang Chun: Invented by a man named Meng Yu Ye Chang, the tea must be harvested in India near the Chang river in the spring, and must be prepared in a Ding-style ceramic container. Yu is a typical name for a physician, and likewise, the tea has healing properties. Ye means 'leaf,' a reference to the green tea leaves in use. Meng was the first son of his family and created this tea and the process of making it as a way to cure addictions to psychotropic stimulants. Is it still just 6 pm? God, this is going to be a loooong evening. Link to post Share on other sites
crazy ace Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 14 minutes ago, Depressed Muffin said: And introduce all the beautiful tea leaves. Where do you get your teas? Do you grow and prepare them yourself, or are they bought from outside dealers? Link to post Share on other sites
Depressed Muffin Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 1 minute ago, crazy ace said: Where do you get your teas? Do you grow and prepare them yourself, or are they bought from outside dealers? Local climate is not very good for growing tea, every year I either travel to tea gardens in China, Japan, Nepal and India, taste a lot of tea samples and pick what I want to buy, or the tea gardens I already know and like send me tea samples after every harvest, I taste those and ask them to send me those I enjoyed the most. I usually buy around 15 kg of each, and then we sell it to our customers and other tea shops and tearooms. Link to post Share on other sites
Oberon Jasper Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 49 minutes ago, Depressed Muffin said: How about some garlic flakes into your tea, huh? Mister vampire? These teenagers, they should really rather work in a Starbucks. *exasperated groan of teenage rebellion* you're no fun. I'll just make the "normal" "boring" tea every other store is selling. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 1 hour ago, Depressed Muffin said: Is that so hard to remember? Yes Link to post Share on other sites
Depressed Muffin Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 40 minutes ago, Torrence Kieran said: *exasperated groan of teenage rebellion* you're no fun. I'll just make the "normal" "boring" tea every other store is selling. You mean the spit-less and non-poisonous tea everyone is selling? On the other hand - I have a really good lavender. Have you ever tried mixing together lavender, lemon balm and GABA oolong? The taste is not that great, but it makes you feel really high and funny. Link to post Share on other sites
Depressed Muffin Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 14 minutes ago, Crack Cake said: Yes If you did less drugs and more tea you would remember. Do you even like tea? Link to post Share on other sites
Unleash the Echidnas Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 3 hours ago, Depressed Muffin said: But my heart beats for true unflavored tea leaves, with a complex taste profile without anything being added to them. And this is why I, for one, love our tentacled overlord. 4 hours ago, Depressed Muffin said: Green beans? You know, that level of tea fraud probably merits some jail time. Good thing you have it in a quote so the evidence can't be erased. I wonder if, um, adding non-tea fluids to a customer's drink is prosecutable as food tampering. Link to post Share on other sites
Sean_Bird Posted May 14, 2021 Author Share Posted May 14, 2021 10 hours ago, Torrence Kieran said: 17 hours ago, Sean_Bird said: *gets distracted by shiny thing on @Torrence Kieran's belt* *steals it* *waddles away quickly* hEyYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! *chases down goose with spoon in attempt to get shiny thing back* I STOLE THAT FAIR AND SQUARE! HONK HONK! *waddles and flails faster, ending up in the garden out back* Link to post Share on other sites
quadfasciata Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 4 hours ago, Depressed Muffin said: but I'm extremely picky and only buy natural flavors, no chemical crap. Pretty much everything in tea is chemicals. Chemicals are everywhere! And if you say: "Oh I meant organic" that doesn't help either, as the textbook definion of organic is having a carbon ring, which lots of artificial flavorings have. Wording, wording, wording. Now if you gave me a raise, I might not call you out on this next time. Pay me! Link to post Share on other sites
Oberon Jasper Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 2 hours ago, Depressed Muffin said: You mean the spit-less and non-poisonous tea everyone is selling? On the other hand - I have a really good lavender. Have you ever tried mixing together lavender, lemon balm and GABA oolong? The taste is not that great, but it makes you feel really high and funny. I'm game for anything that makes me feel really high and funny. Be back in a giffy! 24 minutes ago, Sean_Bird said: HONK HONK! *waddles and flails faster, ending up in the garden out back* *Hurriedly brews tea before continuing to chase goose while sipping tea* Link to post Share on other sites
Sean_Bird Posted May 14, 2021 Author Share Posted May 14, 2021 After waddling around the garden for a while, the goose accidentally stumbled across a certain statue. Sean_Goose slowed to a stop, gently setting the spoon on the ground for @Torrence Kieran to pick up, and gazed at the worn angel statue. It was only two feet tall, depicting a small, chubby, angel sleeping soundly. Below the angel was a small laminated card, reading "Sleep well, George." There were lavender bushes growing all around it, and around the card was a myriad of small, shiny bells. Sean_Goose plopped their chonky butt down, staring at the sleeping angel's face, thinking back to the days when George used to sleep here. This was his favorite spot to come down from a wicked high. Link to post Share on other sites
Oberon Jasper Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 *grabs spoon and runs away laughing maniacally* Link to post Share on other sites
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