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Chonky Murder Zie Shamelessly Wrote


Sean_Bird

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IIIIII finally posted iiiiiiiiit (spin-off from the Shamelessly Raise Your Post Count thread)

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images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTeIp2cqbBUjqFlud_0mAV

 

“The more I see this, the less I see a cat.”

 

“What do you see instead?”

 

“Alien bartender. I wonder if I saw it behind an alien bar thing (that’d probably look different) if it’d look more like a cat?”



 

Oooooooh boy, FreeWalker. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy… that is not a cat.

 

Alright, how do I explain this delicately?

 

My name is Dr. Sean_Bird, and I’m a staff member of the cruise ship Niwa. All of you are coming down from some ballin’ drugs provided by Dr. Velis, who doubles as our pharmaceutical expert and your waiter. Many of you have been hallucinating that he’s a ‘sexy, sassy, dinosaur in a suit’. If any of you look at him now and still see a dinosaur rather than a human, then you’re still high as a kite and holy shit, drink some water and sit down.

 

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You all seemed to be having a similar mass hallucination of being on a ‘space hostel’, flying through space screaming about “the only facts that matter are fat cats”, and then grabbing random overweight passengers and saying they are “the most gorgeous fat cat I have ever seen”, “you can solve all of the world’s problems,” and “let me pet you.” For whatever reason, you all have been looking at famous DJ/pop singer Pitbull (a guest performer on this ship) and seeing him as a “hairless cat” with “adorable toesies.” He was very offended. He said, and I quote, “if someone is going to call me a hairless anything, it should at least be a dog. My name is Pitbull, afterall. I am deeply wounded by this offense. Also, my ‘toesies’ are ferocious. F*ck you.”

 

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Mackenzie Holiday and Fraggle Rock have by far been the most tame and easiest to manage. Mackenzie found two pairs of seatbelts, from somewhere, and sat down next to Fraggle, urgently telling them to put the seatbelt on. Whenever anyone approached you two, Fraggle would hold up a small figurine and make “fire sounds” while shooing them away, and whenever the seatbelt fell off their lap or Fraggle tried to leave, Mackenzie would scream “SEATBELT!”, and Fraggle would immediately sit back down and go back to protecting them with their “flame thrower”. I’m not sure why, but other passengers started collecting rocks and setting them next to Fraggle in a small pile. Given that this is a cruise ship that hasn’t been on land in weeks, I have no idea where the rocks came from.

 

Early on, Artemis was abducted by a group of drag queens and kings. At some point in the evening, she got into an ace themed drag outfit and performed the popular song “Respect” on stage with BZA and FreeWalker. Everyone loved the performance and declared that it was the best performance they had ever seen (the drugs probably helped). Trifasciata, after seeing the performance, found a chair, sat in it backwards, and declared “I’m riding a giant ant, and I SWEAR, the ant is wearing drag underneath the space suit! TRUST ME!” At some point they also started murmuring “Go Go Power Rangers” while running to various walls, declaring they were various types of food, and trying to eat them. Occasionally, under their breath, they muttered “the Avenites are in the cupboards, the cupboard temperatures are unregulated, OSHA is going to take the oven basement away because it violates safety codes and cannibalism.”

 

While everyone was distracted, FreeWalker roamed the ship between performances, causing spontaneous fires and collecting ice cream containers. They stole a fish tank from storage, filled it with ice cream, and declared it was an “ice cream ant farm.” They also stole a myriad of ant themed toys from children and drowned them in the ice cream tank. There are now a lot of crying and confused children.

 

And then everyone else I dunno, you were doing a lot of weird shit I lost track of. 

 

Anyway, there’s some Mexican food, space themed cake, and a variety of cats to cuddle (hairless AND non-hairless) as you come down from your wicked high.

 

Players: @Mackenzie Holiday, @fragglerock, @FreeWalker, @trifasciata, @Artemis42, @BZA, @Depressed Muffin

 

Goal: Kill the murderer before the murderer kills you.

 

Rules:

 

1. Everyday for the next 6 days, someone will be killed. I have chosen, at random, one person to be the murderer. They do not know they are the murderer. Each day, they will kill one person in a way I describe, where I will leave small clues for people to figure out which person did the deed.

2. Similar to “Among Us”, you need to do a majority vote to kick out the killer and win. So more than 50% of people in the main group (people I tagged in the original post). For example, if people decided to kill FreeWalker, they’d need 4 out of 7 votes.

3. Outside of group voting (and the murderer killing once a day), people are not allowed to kill other people unless the victims are not in the main group I specified. More on that in the next rule.

4. People I do not tag in the initial post can join in the chaos if they choose, but they can’t vote or kill any people from the main group. (The people I tagged in this post)

5. Anyone who is killed may continue to post as a ghost/poltergeist/ghostly entity.

6. When voting, you are allowed to vote for killing yourself, and you are also allowed to convince other players to vote for themselves.

7. How to win: group kill the murderer, or for the chosen murderer, survive to the end.

 

Ultimately, this game could go for a few days, or y’all could start voting and kill people off early on, lol. For background on some of this, I highly recommend going through the Shameless thread.

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I look forward to killing or being killed, probably tomorrow because everyone else seems to be asleep like semifunctional homo sapiens and I'm still high enough to see that dino wink at me.

 

Your first link didn't work, but I believe this is the not-cat. 

Spoiler

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Fraggle Underdark

My hands...are these murdering hands?

 

bild-101.png

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3 minutes ago, FreeWalker said:

I look forward to killing or being killed, probably tomorrow because everyone else seems to be asleep like semifunctional homo sapiens and I'm still high enough to see that dino wink at me.

 

Your first link didn't work, but I believe this is the not-cat. 

  Reveal hidden contents

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I don't know why my computer struggled so much with that picture. T__T

 

And lol, yeah. People will probably start posting sometime tomorrow; though, since you're the first to post, you could technically wreck some havoc before the other people get to the thread.

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Just now, fragglerock said:

My hands...are these murdering hands?

 

bild-101.png

Your hands are so tiny. 😮 (also, this made me laugh, lol)

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1 minute ago, Sean_Bird said:

you could technically wreck some havoc before the other people get to the thread.

Go go power rangers!

 

The first thing I'm going to do, is switch the salt with the sugar and add honey to the mayonnaise. 

 

Next, I'm partially unscrewing every ceiling fixture I can find.

 

Thirdly, I'm switching the asdfg key caps with qwerty.

 

And at long last, my fourth nefarious task of the evening is to wash the dishes because c'mon they've been in the sink for days people. 

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1 minute ago, FreeWalker said:

Go go power rangers!

 

The first thing I'm going to do, is switch the salt with the sugar and add honey to the mayonnaise. 

 

Next, I'm partially unscrewing every ceiling fixture I can find.

 

Thirdly, I'm switching the asdfg key caps with qwerty.

 

And at long last, my fourth nefarious task of the evening is to wash the dishes because c'mon they've been in the sink for days people. 

So insidious! 😮 Unscrewing the ceiling fixtures could cause a lot of accidents!

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I'd hate to cause unnecessary chaos that might make finding a murderer more difficult, let alone accidentally hurt somebody! 😱

 

That's why I spent the last four minutes chucking mason jars full of pickling attempts gone wrong at the TV.

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quadfasciata
7 hours ago, FreeWalker said:

And at long last, my fourth nefarious task of the evening is to wash the dishes because c'mon they've been in the sink for days people. 

FW!!! I've been saving those! The chonky hamsters needed a parkour course, and I fidn't want them to get hurt if they fell, so I put the course in the sink, and filled it with water. Hamsters need parkour courses too! >>:( 

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Wait....

*kills person and throws their body out*

 

Am I allowed to murder people here?

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quadfasciata
7 hours ago, Sean_Bird said:

IIIIII finally posted iiiiiiiiit (spin-off from the Shamelessly Raise Your Post Count thread)

--

 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTeIp2cqbBUjqFlud_0mAV

 

“The more I see this, the less I see a cat.”

 

“What do you see instead?”

 

“Alien bartender. I wonder if I saw it behind an alien bar thing (that’d probably look different) if it’d look more like a cat?”



 

Oooooooh boy, FreeWalker. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy… that is not a cat.

 

Alright, how do I explain this delicately?

 

My name is Dr. Sean_Bird, and I’m a staff member of the cruise ship Niwa. All of you are coming down from some ballin’ drugs provided by Dr. Velis, who doubles as our pharmaceutical expert and your waiter. Many of you have been hallucinating that he’s a ‘sexy, sassy, dinosaur in a suit’. If any of you look at him now and still see a dinosaur rather than a human, then you’re still high as a kite and holy shit, drink some water and sit down.

 

spacer.png

 

You all seemed to be having a similar mass hallucination of being on a ‘space hostel’, flying through space screaming about “the only facts that matter are fat cats”, and then grabbing random overweight passengers and saying they are “the most gorgeous fat cat I have ever seen”, “you can solve all of the world’s problems,” and “let me pet you.” For whatever reason, you all have been looking at famous DJ/pop singer Pitbull (a guest performer on this ship) and seeing him as a “hairless cat” with “adorable toesies.” He was very offended. He said, and I quote, “if someone is going to call me a hairless anything, it should at least be a dog. My name is Pitbull, afterall. I am deeply wounded by this offense. Also, my ‘toesies’ are ferocious. F*ck you.”

 

spacer.png

 

Mackenzie Holiday and Fraggle Rock have by far been the most tame and easiest to manage. Mackenzie found two pairs of seatbelts, from somewhere, and sat down next to Fraggle, urgently telling them to put the seatbelt on. Whenever anyone approached you two, Fraggle would hold up a small figurine and make “fire sounds” while shooing them away, and whenever the seatbelt fell off their lap or Fraggle tried to leave, Mackenzie would scream “SEATBELT!”, and Fraggle would immediately sit back down and go back to protecting them with their “flame thrower”. I’m not sure why, but other passengers started collecting rocks and setting them next to Fraggle in a small pile. Given that this is a cruise ship that hasn’t been on land in weeks, I have no idea where the rocks came from.

 

Early on, Artemis was abducted by a group of drag queens and kings. At some point in the evening, she got into an ace themed drag outfit and performed the popular song “Respect” on stage with BZA and FreeWalker. Everyone loved the performance and declared that it was the best performance they had ever seen (the drugs probably helped). Trifasciata, after seeing the performance, found a chair, sat in it backwards, and declared “I’m riding a giant ant, and I SWEAR, the ant is wearing drag underneath the space suit! TRUST ME!” At some point they also started murmuring “Go Go Power Rangers” while running to various walls, declaring they were various types of food, and trying to eat them. Occasionally, under their breath, they muttered “the Avenites are in the cupboards, the cupboard temperatures are unregulated, OSHA is going to take the oven basement away because it violates safety codes and cannibalism.”

 

While everyone was distracted, FreeWalker roamed the ship between performances, causing spontaneous fires and collecting ice cream containers. He stole a fish tank from storage, filled it with ice cream, and declared it was an “ice cream ant farm.” He also stole a myriad of ant themed toys from children and drowned them in the ice cream tank. There are now a lot of crying and confused children.

 

And then everyone else I dunno, you were doing a lot of weird shit I lost track of. 

 

Anyway, there’s some Mexican food, space themed cake, and a variety of cats to cuddle (hairless AND non-hairless) as you come down from your wicked high.

 

Players: @Mackenzie Holiday, @fragglerock, @FreeWalker, @trifasciata, @Artemis42, @BZA, @Depressed Muffin

 

Goal: Kill the murderer before the murderer kills you.

 

Rules:

 

1. Everyday for the next 6 days, someone will be killed. I have chosen, at random, one person to be the murderer. They do not know they are the murderer. Each day, they will kill one person in a way I describe, where I will leave small clues for people to figure out which person did the deed.

2. Similar to “Among Us”, you need to do a majority vote to kick out the killer and win. So more than 50% of people in the main group (people I tagged in the original post). For example, if people decided to kill FreeWalker, they’d need 4 out of 7 votes.

3. Outside of group voting (and the murderer killing once a day), people are not allowed to kill other people unless the victims are not in the main group I specified. More on that in the next rule.

4. People I do not tag in the initial post can join in the chaos if they choose, but they can’t vote or kill any people from the main group. (The people I tagged in this post)

5. Anyone who is killed may continue to post as a ghost/poltergeist/ghostly entity.

6. When voting, you are allowed to vote for killing yourself, and you are also allowed to convince other players to vote for themselves.

7. How to win: group kill the murderer, or for the chosen murderer, survive to the end.

 

Ultimately, this game could go for a few days, or y’all could start voting and kill people off early on, lol. For background on some of this, I highly recommend going through the Shameless thread.

I love just how much Shameless lore you included in this!

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quadfasciata

And hey, how do we know you're not the high one @Sean_Bird? All of us are seeing one thing, where as you are seeing something else! Something else, in which we are crazy and you are not, which we all know, is obviously untrue. I mean, jeez, thowing us under the bus like that! George would not have approved.

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I can't wait to get home from school to see what chaos unfolds here!

But also, you can't convince me that space hostel wasn't real!! It's completely real!!!

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Should more people from the Shameless Thread be tagged or ...

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quadfasciata
1 minute ago, Artemis42 said:

I can't wait to get home from school to see what chaos unfolds here!

But also, you can't convince me that space hostel wasn't real!! It's completely real!!!

Thats what I'm saying, @Sean_Bird is delusional!

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quadfasciata
Just now, Artemis42 said:

Should more people from the Shameless Thread be tagged or ...

dgt and løvely perhaps, but I say we leave it up to Sean_Bird.

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Mackenzie Holiday
8 hours ago, fragglerock said:

My hands...are these murdering hands?

 

bild-101.png

SEATBELT!!

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14 minutes ago, trifasciata said:

dgt and løvely perhaps, but I say we leave it up to Sean_Bird.

Same for Crack Cake and Aelin Galathynius imo, but I agree Sean_Bird probably knows what they're doing

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quadfasciata
3 minutes ago, Artemis42 said:

Same for Crack Cake and Aelin Galathynius imo, but I agree Sean_Bird probably knows what they're doing

I forgot about them ooops! But yeah.

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Depressed Muffin

I am awful at any kind of games, and you will be annoyed with me, but I can try :D I am a little bit annoyed by all the ice cream wasted in the fish tank, I was going to steal all the ice cream and eat my feelings while I'm every night waiting for my meds to kick in, so I can sleep. It's really rude to insinuate I'm some kind of drug addict, excuse you, these are my prescribed anti-panic pills! It's not my fault I feel funny one hour after taking them! Just don't ask me to do anything around 1 to 3 am, that's when I'm the most out of it and I can't focus on tiny things like reading something in my phone or turning pages made of thin paper or thinking too hard, because then my anti-panic meds cause me to have a panic attack, and we don't want that, right? Ok, cool. 

 

Anyway, how did I get on a ship, I can't even swim. Wtf.

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Mackenzie Holiday

I knew this would happen when I got on this space hostel. I mean, haven’t any of you even see the movie Hostel? It was super gross and there was lots of murder. Are we being filmed? Is this Hostel: In Space? I need another seatbelt!

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quadfasciata
6 minutes ago, Mackenzie Holiday said:

I knew this would happen when I got on this space hostel. I mean, haven’t any of you even see the movie Hostel? It was super gross and there was lots of murder. Are we being filmed? Is this Hostel: In Space? I need another seatbelt!

Asking about being filmed? Very suspicious. Not saying we should kick you out...buuuut...you aaare very suspicious. And asking for another seatbelt? Are you trying to tie someone up, so you can drag them away and kill them? Hmm...

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3 hours ago, Artemis42 said:

Should more people from the Shameless Thread be tagged or ...

If people end up liking this this, we can tag more in the future for the main group (someone already pm'd me to get into the second round). People that are not part of the main group can still participate and cause chaos (including murdering people outside of the main group); so like, if @Crack Cake wanted to murder @Torrence Kieran on this thread, they could do so. For the purpose of keeping it manageable for the first round, the main group is only 7 people. I'm going to be using people's posts to set the stage for the murders, so people are allowed to be weird/wacky. :)

 

4 hours ago, A User said:

Wait....

*kills person and throws their body out*

 

Am I allowed to murder people here?

So long as they're not in the main group, yep! You can also be murdered, tho, too!

 

4 hours ago, trifasciata said:

And hey, how do we know you're not the high one @Sean_Bird? All of us are seeing one thing, where as you are seeing something else! Something else, in which we are crazy and you are not, which we all know, is obviously untrue. I mean, jeez, thowing us under the bus like that! George would not have approved.

Excuse you, I'm a doctor. Doctors are basically gods.

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Mackenzie Holiday
1 minute ago, trifasciata said:

Asking about being filmed? Very suspicious. Not saying we should kick you out...buuuut...you aaare very suspicious. And asking for another seatbelt? Are you trying to tie someone up, so you can drag them away and kill them? Hmm...

Seatbelts are for safety not for killing. Why don’t you want me to have more safety? Is it because you want me to be murdered? 😨

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quadfasciata
5 minutes ago, Sean_Bird said:

Excuse you, I'm a doctor. Doctors are basically gods.

Doctors didn't save George. 

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quadfasciata
3 minutes ago, Mackenzie Holiday said:

Seatbelts are for safety not for killing. Why don’t you want me to have more safety? Is it because you want me to be murdered? 😨

Trying to set yourself up as the victem are you? Ha! Nice try. We all know you're just trying to pretend to help, and have a track record of murder. I bet you helped @Crack Cake dispose of George's body!

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Mackenzie Holiday
6 minutes ago, Sean_Bird said:

Doctors are basically gods.

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Yeah, that checks out.

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Oberon Jasper
6 minutes ago, Crack Cake said:

I don't think it's a question of if I want to kill @Torrence Kieran but more of when. 😄

You can try, but only if I don't kill you first.

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