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If you could, would you change your sexuality?


Janus the Fox
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Locking this one as it’s well over a year old

 

Janus the Fox

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PrimeJelly
15 hours ago, Zagadka said:

Sometimes I do wish that I could be allosexual, at least a little. I do fear I'm missing out on connection and enjoyment. But the times I have had sex, I just never felt what other people describe. *shrugs*

I guess societal pressure made us all believe that sex is some incredible, mind blowing experience and NOT feeling that means something is wrong with you.

Maybe you could be feeling some of that stigma?

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Sherlocks
On 4/12/2021 at 2:59 PM, PrimeJelly said:

Would you change your sexuality if you could? From being an asexual to become an allosexual? Or gay to being straight? (Some could choose to be straight whether their allo or not since being straight doesn't mean automatic hate from loved ones/society). I honestly wouldn't change a thing about me. I might never experience sexual or romantic attraction in my life but I don't think I'm missing out on much. You can't know you're truly missing out on something when you don't understand the feeling of "missing" it. I feel content with my life. I love myself for who I am as a person. If you don't feel like me, then why (if its not too personal to ask)? And what sexuality would you want to have if you could change it?

Id change my type. Not my asexuality as I realize now my types more problamatic

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I'd NEVER want to change my sexuality. Yes it kinda is exhausting to be asexual. But it's not the sexuality that's making life stressful, it's the people who discriminate aces, the people who don't take aces serious and people who disrespect aces.
I love being asexual. It's actually a huge and important part of myself. Before I found out about the term I thought that I was broken. When I found out that I am NOT broken and it's 'just' my sexuality that's making me feel this way, I was so relieved.

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everywhere and nowhere
On 5/3/2021 at 2:13 PM, PrimeJelly said:

I guess societal pressure made us all believe that sex is some incredible, mind blowing experience and NOT feeling that means something is wrong with you.

Maybe you could be feeling some of that stigma?

That's it. Sex is being portrayed as the Absolute Allgreatest Pleasure Possible. And while I have fortunately never had sex, I used to pleasure myself and can say one thing: an orgasm is underwhelming enough that for me the idea of it being the greatest pleasure is pure cognitive dissonance. I can find countless things which I find more pleasant, particularly now, as I'm almost nonlibidoist.

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@Nowhere Girl : I so can relate to that. Not to mention that even if it is intense, it doesn't last too long for me to consider it great. So yeah, as a former heterosexual, there is really absolutely nothing great about it.

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@Nowhere Girl I think can relate as well, to some degree. Even though I do feel sexual attraction and enjoy sex, it's seriously not all it's made out to be. Certainly not the greatest pleasure possible. I enjoy it mainly because it's a way of showing love, intimacy, and connection to my partner which is the only part I truly care about, even though the act itself is less mindblowing pleasure and more.. erm, scratching an itch or eating a cake to satiate a craving. I've felt just as if not more incredible when going hiking with my partner.

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  • 2 weeks later...
spooky_moss

No, I wouldn't like to change, because I like making my way through life solo. I don't like the idea of having a person who I share life with. I would hate to share a bed with someone every day - it's so much less comfortable. I would hate to be expected to always share my feelings and secrets with a person. I am introspective and like keeping some things to myself. I don't like cooking for other people, but I like cooking just for myself. I don't like that there would be less opportunities for complete alone time, which I need to have to recharge.

 

Maybe I would be different if I were allo, and I would be willing to let someone in because I felt strongly for them. But I have a hard time imagining that all of my feelings towards sharing life with another person would change. In a way, being aro & ace is convenient for me to live the way I want to without feeling conflicted.

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spooky_moss
4 hours ago, Lunacat said:

@PrimeJellyNo, instead i wish that there would be more asexual people or at least that people knew about it more.

Yes, I feel this so much! I'm happy to be asexual and to live my life the way I want to. I wish there were more asexual people so that the way I lived seemed less odd

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auroranebula

I'm honestly happy to be asexual. It's something that I at first didn't accept about myself purely because society makes people think sex is the most important thing in the world, but now I think a lot of good can come from being asexual. You get a different perspective on things that others do not. The only really bad thing is there are so few aces that no one understands you, and admittedly it makes me feel like I'm an alien masquerading as a human at times. But, again, I truly don't feel like I'm missing out with sex.

 

On the other hand, regarding being aro, I wish I could experience falling in love with someone. I would think I'd feel the same that I do about being ace, because that is the same kind of thing; everyone putting romance on this pedestal, making it seem like it's something every person must experience to have a fulfilling life. But, I don't know. I'm a very sentimental person so I guess the idea of romance appeals to me, but I lack the drive. I have a platonic partner though who is also aroace and has the same interests as me, we're planning on living together. That helps me not fear being alone in the future, which in spite of being aroace is something I do. Not. Want.

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Rev.Misfit

If I was able to go back in time, I wouldn’t change who and what I am, and I certainly wouldn’t change my asexuality. I love who and what I am. And if others cannot respect and accept who I am, that is their problem, not mine. 

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I am happy with how I am... though sometimes I sit back and think... being a hot pan slut looks really fun, take a sip of drink, and move on.

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Anomaly Q3Xr

I wouldn't. I am happy not wanting or having sex, I have found a wonderful asexual partner. And regardless, I just don't feel that being sexual would add anything to my life, it is more likely to detract from it.

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I wouldn't change my sexuality - being bi is perfectly fine for me. I would absolutely change all the sensory/trauma issues that make enjoying sex borderline impossible though. 

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  • 1 year later...

Sexuality, no. I think I might like to become alloromantic. Maybe. I feel like my alterous attraction would be easier to explain if it were just regular romantic attraction.

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