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IStuckAKnifeInAToaster

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IStuckAKnifeInAToaster

So, I've been thinking recently. I'm trying to figure out where I stand in terms of sexuality. So far, I've been referring to myself as pansexual, however I've been experiencing some questionable moments. When i think about sex between fictional characters, I find it sexually intriguing, but when it comes to real people, I find it...gross? Sometimes I feel like I love my S/O dearly, but other times I feel like I don't and I feel uncomfortable around them. My current and past S/O have little spaces, so they of course call me daddy a lot, and it makes me uncomfortable, but I don't know if that's because I think of it as a kid thing or a sexual thing. I'm never in a rush to have sex with them either. However I often find myself wanting to have sex? Sort of like I want sex, but that's all. Like I don't want the romance, like I sort of just want a one night stand. I've been trying to figure out what I'm comfortable with, but I'm kind of struggling. If anyone could give me some intel or advice, that would be highly appreciated. Thank you. 

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Sarah-Sylvia

Heyy. Welcome the site 🍰

 

I think feelings can shift around quite a bit, and love isn't something to feel 'all' the time, but overall when we've grown close to someone I think the love is there. If it really feels chaotic and not just about being in touch with the feelings, then you could look into 'flux' identities. I don't know much about them myself.
I had a short-time relationship where he told me he liked being called daddy, and that made me uncomfortable, not for the possible sexual part, but for the family connotations lol. I know for some people it's not how they see it, but if I want to see them as partners then I don't want it to go that way :P I'll call them all sorts of food or endearment tho :D

Are you sure you're not interested in romance? If you found someone you really liked/loved, could you feel like wanting to be with them, feeling close, and sharing affection or meaningful times with them?
We use the split attraction model, so you could be sexual but then be aromantic, or you could check out the term
Aroflux.

 

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IStuckAKnifeInAToaster
10 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Are you sure you're not interested in romance? If you found someone you really liked/loved, could you feel like wanting to be with them, feeling close, and sharing affection or meaningful times with them?

I've had moments like that before, as in wanting to have some romantic picnics or watching the sunset with someone, but when I think about it now with my current partner it seems dissatisfying.

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Sarah-Sylvia
2 minutes ago, IStuckAKnifeInAToaster said:

I've had moments like that before, as in wanting to have some romantic picnics or watching the sunset with someone, but when I think about it now with my current partner it seems dissatisfying.

I suppose sometimes it's harder to feel those thing with certain people. Or it could be that because you're on the aromantic spectrum at least to some degree it takes more to feel that way with someone. Just ideas. Or maybe you're not romantically drawn to your current partner. (not a fun thought a partner would want to know though XD)

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IStuckAKnifeInAToaster
5 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

(not a fun thought a partner would want to know though XD)

Oh yeah, yeah, of course lmao. 

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IStuckAKnifeInAToaster
5 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

it could be that because you're on the aromatic spectrum at least to some degree

That's sort of what I'm thinking, but I'm struggling to find out where, I mean, i felt like a fit under the term Akoisexual/Akoiromantic, but I feel not so much? I might just be overthinking it though...

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Sarah-Sylvia
7 minutes ago, IStuckAKnifeInAToaster said:

That's sort of what I'm thinking, but I'm struggling to find out where, I mean, i felt like a fit under the term Akoisexual/Akoiromantic, but I feel not so much? I might just be overthinking it though...

Doesn't akoiromantic mean that you can feel romantic but then if they feel that for you then it fades?

 

In any case, you should take your time :) You know what you know, and the best thing you can do is follow your heart the best you can, and if something doesn't click then you don't have to go for that. I know it's not always simple, but humans can be complex, but it's ok to be however we are even if we can't put a name on it 😜

I will say though, you could use the term grayromantic (or gray-aro) in the meantime, it's a broad term that someone can use if they're on the aro spectrum and aren't full-on aromantic. I use graysexual for my sexual identity because it fits for me and I'm satisfied even if it's not precise.

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IStuckAKnifeInAToaster
7 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Doesn't akoiromantic mean that you can feel romantic but then if they feel that for you then it fades?

 

It does. 

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IStuckAKnifeInAToaster
7 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

I will say though, you could use the term grayromantic (or gray-aro) in the meantime, it's a broad term that someone can use if they're on the aro spectrum and aren't full-on aromantic. I use graysexual for my sexual identity because it fits for me and I'm satisfied even if it's not precise.

Alright, I think ill do that then. Thank you so much for your help and intel. ^^

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Janus the Fox

Moved to The Grey Area, Sex and Related Discussions

 

Janus DarkFox

Cover Welcome Lounge, Tea and Sympathy/(h)AVEN, Weekends Asexual Relationships, Current Questions about Asexuality, Asexual Musings and Rantings & Open Mic Moderator

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@IStuckAKnifeInAToaster, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 

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