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Demisexual + aromantic


SunnyHouse

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Hello! So, back in january I first identified myself as asexual and aromantic. While I'm still sure I'm aro, maybe demisexual might be more fitting for me.

 

That's because for a brief part of my one and only relationship, I enjoyed intimacy and also considered having sex with them.

 

We had already been friends for 1 year before we dated and in the last months leading to it we had gotten quite close. Also, one of the strongest reasons for me to get into the relationship was because he was the first person I could see myself kissing.

 

So after the first month of it going very well, my inability to form a romantic connection started to get in the way and I guess the bond broke (?) because I started getting somewhat repulsed by the intimacy, and the thought of going anywhere further was beyond gone.

 

The thing is, it was my first time ever being intimate with anyone, so I used the newness of it to explain my initial enjoyment , but thinking back, maybe there was actually attraction there ??

 

Can anyone who identifies as demisexual tell me what it's like for you? And also, is anybody demisexual and aromantic? Because I felt like the bond necessary for a demisexual to experience attraction most times was tied to romance but guess I'm wrong.

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I accidentally uploaded it twice, sorry guys😅

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Hmm, I'm kinda on the border of demisexual, in that I've had a sort of similar relationship - great friends for awhile, eventually turned into a relationship, and I did feel sexual attraction, but its not something I've really felt since on the same level, even in other relationships. I definitely get that same feel though, once I start losing the romantic connection, sex is the last thing I want.

 

I'm not aromantic so I can't really offer much help there, but for me there is very much a distinction between how I felt sexually about that one person, and how I felt about everyone else since. It was by far the most romantic and powerful bond of any relationship I've been in, and I felt the sexual attraction matched that level of connection.

 

I think based on what you posted, its certainly possible you are demisexual, or possibly grey-sexual on some level.

 

 

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12 minutes ago, skal said:

Hmm, I'm kinda on the border of demisexual, in that I've had a sort of similar relationship - great friends for awhile, eventually turned into a relationship, and I did feel sexual attraction, but its not something I've really felt since on the same level, even in other relationships. I definitely get that same feel though, once I start losing the romantic connection, sex is the last thing I want.

 

I'm not aromantic so I can't really offer much help there, but for me there is very much a distinction between how I felt sexually about that one person, and how I felt about everyone else since. It was by far the most romantic and powerful bond of any relationship I've been in, and I felt the sexual attraction matched that level of connection.

 

I think based on what you posted, its certainly possible you are demisexual, or possibly grey-sexual on some level.

 

 

The fact that the bond I formed was not at all romantic was what blinded me to the fact that there was a bond there to begin with. And maybe that could be a factor that separated how I felt sexually at that time from how I felt before and after it.

 

Thanks for helping :) I really appreciate it

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