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Romantic relationships vs QPR


nmorgan305

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Hi guys

 

For a while now I’ve considered myself somewhere on the asexual spectrum, but I’m now beginning to wonder if I’m potentially on aromantic spectrum too because I’m not sure I’ve ever felt romantic attraction. When I read descriptions of QPR’s it sounds exactly like what I want, but I guess I’m struggling to differentiate between a romantic relationship and a QPR. Anyone have any words of wisdom?

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Differentiating between the two might just be ridiculously hard (if not impossible) from an outside view.

Case in point: I have two fairly close friends, I love them both, one platonically and one romantically (not that the latter has any clue). Doing the exact same thing feels fundamentally different depending on who it's with, even if it's something simple like going for a walk or cooking together. The activity is the same and looks the same but definitely does not feel the same.

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14 minutes ago, weird elf said:

Differentiating between the two might just be ridiculously hard (if not impossible) from an outside view.

Case in point: I have two fairly close friends, I love them both, one platonically and one romantically (not that the latter has any clue). Doing the exact same thing feels fundamentally different depending on who it's with, even if it's something simple like going for a walk or cooking together. The activity is the same and looks the same but definitely does not feel the same.

Thank you for this! Is the feeling anything you’re able to put into words? I realise I might be asking the impossible here I realise! 

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Rainy Robin

If you're questioning if you're aromantic, you should definitely read about the experiences of arospec people! I found that the aromantic orientation is really difficult to understand because it's really nuanced and ambiguous, so reading how others experience aromanticism is really the only way of fully figuring out if you're arospec. Arocalypse (like AVEN for aros) is a great place to start because there are good threads on this topic (especially the "You might be aro if..." and "early signs you were aro" threads). 

 

Good luck, and feel free to reach out if you want to chat or ask questions! :)

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11 hours ago, nmorgan305 said:

Thank you for this! Is the feeling anything you’re able to put into words? I realise I might be asking the impossible here I realise! 

I don't think I can ...

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Well, a QPR to me is like a super close friendship that may appear romantic to others. 🙂 You hold hands and cuddle and be intimate with eachother, but in platonic ways, like conversations that last hours, high amounts of trust and shared secrets. 💜 It is very complicated to define, I think it's up to you yourself what makes one!

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InvisibleSquid
2 hours ago, Raindrops said:

Well, a QPR to me is like a super close friendship that may appear romantic to others. 🙂 You hold hands and cuddle and be intimate with eachother, but in platonic ways, like conversations that last hours, high amounts of trust and shared secrets. 💜 It is very complicated to define, I think it's up to you yourself what makes one!

I feel like that's what a QPR would be like for me. Seems like it's a bit different for everyone, so the "definition" would vary. Like being important to someone without the romantic relationship commitment. I've never had one, but I'd be open to one in the future. 

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