Straight but questioning??

[Confused54321]

Hi all, so I know I’m not asexual because I am definitely sexually and romantically attracted to men. However, I have “mommy issues” (hate that term) and when I watch tv shows and movies I always feel platonically attracted to the women, like I wish I was their daughter or sister. I also wish I could cuddle and hang out with them and hug them, like if they were my really close sister or mother. Sometimes I daydream about cuddling with them in bed to fall asleep, but not them touching me sexually at all. If you asked if I want to kiss or have sex with them that isn’t something I’d want to do at all. I’ve also never had a crush on a woman in real life, only men. Anyone know what that might mean? I always thought I was straight but I can’t stop questioning myself because of that.

Edited Monday at 03:43 PM by Confused54321

[Purple Red Panda]

11 minutes ago, Confused54321 said:

Anyone know what that might mean?

It might just mean you like to fantasise about maternal affection. You say you don't want to have sex with them or kiss them which is suggestive (to me anyway) that this isn't about sex or romance. It's really only something you can work out for yourself I'm afraid. You should try to keep in mind that it's ok to be questioning, many people do and it's something that can happen at any time of life as well. Sometimes the answers can take a while to emerge and I know that can be very frustrating but try not to put too much pressure on yourself.

[alto]

I know I greatly enjoy being an "aunty" to one of my close male friends.

[Ace Of Dragons]

4 hours ago, Confused54321 said:

when I watch tv shows and movies I always feel platonically attracted to the women, like I wish I was their daughter. I also feel sensually attracted to them, wishing I could cuddle and hang out with them and hug them. Sometimes I daydream about cuddling with them in bed to fall asleep. But if you asked if I want to kiss or have sex with them that isn’t something I’d want to do at all.

It sounds like you want a queer platonic relationships with girls an beyond for the boys, I don't want to tell you what your labels should be that is for you to decide. But if it were me, I would consider bi with a male preference, if not straight.

[AbbySaysHi]

I think that if you feel sexual attraction, you may not be ace. However, it is ok for you to keep reflecting on your experiences and researching to come to your own conclusion. You are valid and I wish you the best of luck as you sort through your identity. 🍰🍰🍰

[Y.V.]

I’d say attraction is more complex than just  straight, bi or homosexual. As asexuals show us, we don’t have to desire sex with someone to be romantically attracted to them.

 

I think, choosing a label isn’t the most important thing now – it’s more useful to understand what you want to do about it. Basically, are these just fantasies? Do you want to find someone to have a very special friendship with (warmth, cuddles etc)? Do you want to have a woman life partner just with no sex?

 

After that, it might be easier to figure out a good label for yourself – based on what you actually do.

[Confused54321]

11 hours ago, Y.V. said:

I’d say attraction is more complex than just  straight, bi or homosexual. As asexuals show us, we don’t have to desire sex with someone to be romantically attracted to them.

 

I think, choosing a label isn’t the most important thing now – it’s more useful to understand what you want to do about it. Basically, are these just fantasies? Do you want to find someone to have a very special friendship with (warmth, cuddles etc)? Do you want to have a woman life partner just with no sex?

 

After that, it might be easier to figure out a good label for yourself – based on what you actually do.

Yes, it feels like mostly a fantasy (I am a maladaptive daydreamer after all). I think it’d be nice to have someone who was like a mom to cuddle with but again not in a romantic way (or at least it doesn’t seem like it would be, to me). I could definitely see myself romantically and sexually with a man, however (so I know I’m not ace).