k_ace Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 Any hopeless romantic aces out there? I’m ace but i’m such a big romantic. I adore love stories, have crushes all the time (real and fictional), and just love love in general. Anybody else relate? 😊 Link to post Share on other sites
ben8884 Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 I am a fairly romantic person. I would love to be married but have accepted that's not on the cards for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Blue eyes white dragon Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 You pretty much described me lol Link to post Share on other sites
Purple Red Panda Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 I'm more kind of a 'despair romantic', I love the idea of romance but seem unable to ever find it. This is now pretty much a major source of unhappiness for me. Link to post Share on other sites
TormentDubz Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 10 minutes ago, Purple Red Panda said: I'm more kind of a 'despair romantic', I love the idea of romance but seem unable to ever find it. This is now pretty much a major source of unhappiness for me. Yeah exactly, me too Link to post Share on other sites
BlueApples Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 I totally understand where you're coming from! I grew up dreaming about falling in love, getting married and having kids. Got married and had kids but still, at 40, have never fallen in love. I want to be in a loving, affectionate and giving relationship, but without the sex. As a woman, I have yet to find a guy that feels the same way and the pressure to have sex makes me resent my partner and always contributes to the relationship ending. Most of my friends think I'm weird, so glad I found this space to find others like me! After almost 3 years of being single I'm tired of being alone and want to date....but the thought of it is so tiring and I know I'll just be disappointed. Link to post Share on other sites
KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 *waves shyly* Link to post Share on other sites
ben8884 Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 1 hour ago, Purple Red Panda said: I'm more kind of a 'despair romantic', I love the idea of romance but seem unable to ever find it. This is now pretty much a major source of unhappiness for me. This basically describes me Link to post Share on other sites
Morays Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 <---- It's right in the sidebar, hahaha. I'm extremely finicky about romance in fiction, but when it hits right, it hits hard, man. Link to post Share on other sites
OmegaTheMetamorphicDreamer Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 .....hi. 👋 Link to post Share on other sites
Aoede Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 ....yep...and ..yep.. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 Idk... I'm not one for falling in love, the infatuation type, but rather into growing love instead. I have a hard time trusting... opening... starting affection... I like anime's such as toradora, golden time, ect... a lot... romcoms, hee hee... I tear up easily on em. I doubt, I'll can ever be with someone, ... it hurts, I hate being alone... Too much pain, ... I'll only scare off... I don't think anyone would want me... Or there's anyone... Been hurt too much... Though.. somewhere I long so much... it is hopeless... But probably not the hopeless you meant... Link to post Share on other sites
Aoede Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 38 minutes ago, SocialMorays said: <---- It's right in the sidebar, hahaha. me too.. I was scared I was an oddity Link to post Share on other sites
k_ace Posted April 2, 2021 Author Share Posted April 2, 2021 1 hour ago, OceanForestandSky said: me too.. I was scared I was an oddity No, I love this and totally relate! I find myself in conversation with a lot of aces who are either arospec or just disinterested in romance. I love connecting with aces who are just as lovey-dovey as me, haha! 😄 Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted April 3, 2021 Share Posted April 3, 2021 I consider myself a romantic, but maybe more in theory than in reality. I'm not sure what I'd do or how I'd handle it in reality. But I like rom coms, and sentimentality, and sending/receiving cards, and other things that can be considered romantic/ish. Link to post Share on other sites
annakatnic Posted April 3, 2021 Share Posted April 3, 2021 I get crushes all the time, then my highly sexual co-worker gets them. At first I'm upset, but then I chill knowing that my co-worker is better suited for them. The best part is that I get to here about the romance gossip without letting anyone down! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 3, 2021 Share Posted April 3, 2021 I'm the opposite of that - very rarely fall for anybody, and it's usually a lukewarm and "logical" feeling birthed from years of friendship - but I'm just going to soak in the good vibes of this thread Link to post Share on other sites
Kernel.Panic Posted April 4, 2021 Share Posted April 4, 2021 I'm a hopeful romantic. Full of hope that the stars will align eventually. I'm a robot, I can wait. Link to post Share on other sites
KalaUke Posted April 4, 2021 Share Posted April 4, 2021 Yep, that's me, too. I'm married to a man and romantically attracted to him, although not sexually attracted. That ship sailed a long time ago, way before I realized I was ace, due to health problems for him (which worked out pretty well for me, honestly). But we are still romantically close and it's nice to have someone to hug and hold hands with and just care for. We're good partners. Link to post Share on other sites
Morays Posted April 4, 2021 Share Posted April 4, 2021 On 4/3/2021 at 11:47 AM, `Silver said: I'm just going to soak in the good vibes of this thread It is encouraging and uplifting to see how many of us there are! But there's definitely an undercurrent of despair, though, haha. I do relate to how @Purple Red Panda put it -- for me personally, I do have a deep desire to share my life with someone else and to be part of a unit, and as much as I find a lot of traditionally "romantic" gestures and such to be very silly, the core ideal of trust and love and connection deeply resonates with me. But as an asexual, it's often painful knowing the odds of finding it are so much lower. That's kinda why I call myself a "hopeless romantic" -- not in the sense of being outwardly sappy, but, y'know, in the sense of just not having a chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 5, 2021 Share Posted April 5, 2021 11 hours ago, SocialMorays said: I do relate to how @Purple Red Panda put it -- for me personally, I do have a deep desire to share my life with someone else and to be part of a unit, and as much as I find a lot of traditionally "romantic" gestures and such to be very silly, the core ideal of trust and love and connection deeply resonates with me. But as an asexual, it's often painful knowing the odds of finding it are so much lower. That's kinda why I call myself a "hopeless romantic" -- not in the sense of being outwardly sappy, but, y'know, in the sense of just not having a chance. The desire is definitely there for me, I just get cockblocked by my own lack of attraction for the vast majority of people I come across. That, or incompatibility with orientations (most of the time them being sexual and/or wanting some form of sexual intimacy one way or another), life and relationship goals (e.g. I'm childfree and have specific countries I'd move to, but I wouldn't move anywhere for anyone), and the like. I approach relationships very rationally, maybe even too much so Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 5, 2021 Share Posted April 5, 2021 Strong emphasis on “hopeless”. 🙃 Link to post Share on other sites
MCTlibrarian Posted April 6, 2021 Share Posted April 6, 2021 14 hours ago, Autumn Twilight said: Strong emphasis on “hopeless”. 🙃 Yes. A whole lot of this! 💛 Link to post Share on other sites
Thujaplicata Posted April 6, 2021 Share Posted April 6, 2021 I enjoy romances that don't emphasize sexual attraction in fiction (I just need there to be more than physical attraction) and find moments of people taking care of/trusting each other deeply satisfying. I really like fictional romances...though I can't handle romcoms - cannot handle second hand embarrassment. Mostly I enjoy the small domestic moments, the playful bickering and casual comfort in each other's space. As for real life...I'm demiromantic and hopelessly daft. Turns out I've had a crush on my best friend and roommate for a few years now and didn't realize. Recently I've been sorting out my feelings, figured it all out more or less, sent her a letter with my confused thoughts and feelings, and she likes me too! She's neither ace nor aromantic but when I told her I was ace years ago she strove to make her feelings platonic, though we ended up closer to a QPR. (Not that I knew what a QPR was...she assumed I knew and after my letter she told me to do some research before settling on what type of relationship I wanted with her. She's such a sweetheart! But also so petty at times...I adore it! Just, stone-cold. It's very difficult to upset her but once you do, her grudges last forever. She will never forgive her sister's first boyfriend...) So, as of yesterday, I have a girlfriend! And I am over the moon and stupidly happy. She told me she liked me too Friday night and in my delirium of joy I came to the conclusion that I was a sappy, happy, hopeless romantic of an ace. I couldn't stop grinning madly and literally wiggling like some sort of happy puppy. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it was suddenly obvious that I definitely was a hopeless romantic. Before, I'd been trying to figure out if I even felt romantic feelings at all. And then suddenly I realized that the squirmy feeling in my stomach that sent me smiling till my cheeks was almost certainly that "butterflies" feeling that books describe. My little sister, who has become my romantic confidante, was very happy for me and very amused. I guess I'm just here to say yes, I'm a romantic too, and I don't know if it's comforting or not, but I have stumbled into a relationship and am very happy. (Even if we can't live together for years yet due to diverging life paths. But, we will someday!) It's so funny though. As of last Friday morning, I wasn't even sure if I felt romantic feelings at all or just really intense friendship or alterous attraction or something??? And then...well. Now I know myself to be an absolutely hopeless romantic. I am glad to join your community of romantic aces! -Thuja Link to post Share on other sites
Aoede Posted April 7, 2021 Share Posted April 7, 2021 what is the romantic part supposed to feel like, went on a date, and it was comfortable, and fun..but I have no basis so I cant tell aaaaaaa, there's possible potential but, how do I know if I don't (cannot?) get the stereotypical signs? anyone else get this dilemma? Link to post Share on other sites
aafire Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 does it count if I used to be a hopeless romantic but now I know better after getting burned a bunch? or is that the hopeless part? Link to post Share on other sites
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