LIVING ALONE

[Ceebs]

1) What is your favourite part about living alone?

 

I can keep the entire place however I want it. Don't have to take anyone else's preferences into account. And I have OCD and I hate other people touching my shit (not quite so much anything to do with how it's organised when it comes to my OCD actually, but I have pretty bad germophobia).

 

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

 

Sometimes the place feels a bit too... empty. I like signs of other human life. At least I live in a city and can see/hear things going on outside, and there are also people in the flat below me. And I see my ex-husband often enough because we're still friends.

 

And the main one... well, my partner and I are currently on opposite sides of the Atlantic Ocean, and that sucks. He's the only person I want to live with, which will happen sometime in the future, but at this point I don't know when.

 

 

3) Does independence come easy?

 

No, not really. Mostly due to mental health issues and neurodiversity.

 

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

 

Not very frequently due to living alone, but I do feel a general sense of loneliness and wish I got to see other people a bit more often or had more friends who live nearby.

 

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

 

No, just plants. Most animals stress me out because I forget to do basic tasks in terms of pet care or I get overwhelmed by how much they need from me. Might be an ADHD thing. I'm just not a very responsible pet owner. Plus I kind of view animals as dirty because of the OCD/germophobia stuff.

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

 

Honest answer... I'm too lazy to think about this right now and don't feel like answering it. 😂 I dunno, lock your doors at night?

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

 

Umm, sometimes but not constantly? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Less than some other people seem to, I think.

 

 

8.  Do you have friends? 
 

Yes but not loads, and only one (my ex) lives in the same city. Others live anywhere from an hour or two away to in a different country.

[Acing It]

I'm shocked at what some women feel they have to do in response to question 6. I feel blessed not to live in a country and/or area where this is a huge problem. I'm aware, like anyone I guess, but not super vigilant and most certainly don't feel I have to heave weapons of any kind in the house and keep everything locked all the time, even when putting the bins out. I'm sorry to hear what you people have to do.

[Sure Rantsalot]

1. Favorite part about living alone:  I can eat what I want when I want (examples: no pineapple on pizza, i love sauerkraut, corned beef and cabbage and grits. I can eat all these and no one around to complain).

 

2. Least favorite part about living alone:  no one to help me get the lids off of stuff .

 

3. does independence come easy: I've been on my own for decades, so kind of used to it.

 

4. How often do you face lonliness: rarely...I was in a car accident  a while back and as I stood on the street corner looking at my totally demolished car I realized I had no one to come and get me. We have uber and cabs etc. but since I was pretty banged up it would have been nice to see a friendly, familiar face. I felt really alone during that time.

 

5. Do you have pets:  not now. I had the sweetest pet rat for about 6 years. 

 

6. How can women be safe when being alone: I rarely go out after dark. Lock doors.  I try not to park next to any big vans or vehicles with dark windows just so I can see who is in vehicle. I put the child strap on grocery carts through the handle of my purse to secure it. I took a senior citizen safety class that taught me how to use my cane/walker as a weapon or barrier, body alarm for noise, in event of carjacking-hit the alarm button to set the horn off and throw keys under or over car and to scream. They used to tell you not to do this but the guy teaching the class said they will probably kill you anyways so fight and scream. If you have kids visiting as I often do. Show them which neighbors  or nearby businesses are safe places, how to use my phone in case I have a stroke or something (I am getting up there in age, could happen). Anyway, if you ever get the chance take the class. Most of all- intuition. If someplace or someone makes me uncomfortable I put as much distance as I can between me and it/them.

 

7. Do you talk to yourself: I never talk to myself but I have been responding outloud to some of those crackpots on the radio lately.

 

8. Do you have friends?  Unfortunately not as many as I once did. Some moved away when they retired. A lot of my firends, especially if they were older have died. It's really difficult to make new friends at my age since our senior centers etc. have been closed down throughout covid.

[Ceebs]

2 hours ago, Acing It said:

I'm shocked at what some women feel they have to do in response to question 6. I feel blessed not to live in a country and/or area where this is a huge problem. I'm aware, like anyone I guess, but not super vigilant and most certainly don't feel I have to heave weapons of any kind in the house and keep everything locked all the time, even when putting the bins out. I'm sorry to hear what you people have to do.

That's bizarre to me too, the weapons thing. That's just not A Thing in this country. Locking the door when I go to sleep is the most I do, but it's unlocked the entire time I'm awake... and honestly I often forget to do it when I go to sleep anyway haha. I took a nap the other day, and when I woke up the front door to my flat had blown open because it was windy out and I hadn't even closed it properly. Anyone could've walked in during the several hours I was asleep. 🤷🏼‍♀️ (Although they'd have to climb a lot of stairs outside lol.)

[Acing It]

2 hours ago, Ceebs. said:

That's bizarre to me too, the weapons thing. That's just not A Thing in this country. Locking the door when I go to sleep is the most I do, but it's unlocked the entire time I'm awake... and honestly I often forget to do it when I go to sleep anyway haha. I took a nap the other day, and when I woke up the front door to my flat had blown open because it was windy out and I hadn't even closed it properly. Anyone could've walked in during the several hours I was asleep. 🤷🏼‍♀️ (Although they'd have to climb a lot of stairs outside lol.)

I'm the same. All I do is lock the door. I once got home from a weekend away, unlocked the front door, went to sleep and noticed in the morning I couldn't find the keys. I later found them in the lock on the outside of the front door lol. Anyone could have come in freely and done anything. I often forget to lock the front door at night as well, but I do lock it normally. The most I do outdoors is cross the street when someone comes towards me on the same side.

[RachelKF529]

On 3/20/2021 at 4:11 AM, GHOST12345 said:

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

I've always felt like it is what I wanted for my life. I love the privacy and freedom. If I had to be responsible for others, it would take up a lot more of my time. I can choose when and where I want to move to. I don't have to feel restricted to a specific city or state. I've known married couples to have problems with not being able to find jobs in the same cities or states. I would not want to feel restricted by that problem. I love being able to just binge watch TV all day and not care about others. 

 

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2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

Nothing. I prefer living alone. I need my privacy. 

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3) Does independence come easy?

Yes

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4) How often do you face loneliness?

Loneliness only effects people if they really don't want to be alone. I do see others socializing and wish I had better friends or someone who would go to a concert with sometimes, but I've accepted my personality problems and find other things to do with my time. Binge watching Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime really helps. Internet streaming systems like Roku are a lifesaver. 

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5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

No

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6) How can women be safe when being alone?

I currently live in a very safe neighborhood. The crime rate is 44/1000. So I feel very safe. Crime rates can be found on http://www.city-data.com. Taking a self-defense class may be helpful for you. I do have a stun gun that looks like a cellphone that I keep in my car, but I haven't had to use it. I have lived in much worse neighborhoods, including a building that had a drive-by shooting. However, I was never attacked. I did feel like I was being stalked when I worked in the city, but the comments made me feel they would have had to hack into my accounts online and buy information about the owner of my IP address to act the way they did. In self defense class, I learned to carry keys between each of my fingers, alternating key, finger, key. Keys can be used to stab someone. 

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7) How often to you talk to yourself?

Sometimes, but there's nothing wrong with that. It can help you to process emotions or solve problems. 

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8.  Do you have friends? 

Some, but not many. I try, but I'm not really social due to having some sort of neurdivergent problem that was never diagnosed. 

[Ryoko]

Crazy and violent people are everywhere. I live in a low crime area, but having some proper tools on hand for the worst case scenario is how I choose to take responsibility for my own safety. By the time someone uninvited is in your house, they clearly have bad intentions and calling for help won't do much, not in time, anyway. Men grope, take photos of me without permission, follow me on the road sometimes. Thinking ahead makes sense to me.

[SamanthaTheGreat]

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

 

I can do whatever I want with my space. I can change where the furniture's at when it's not fitting in with the flow of my schedule anymore, change the thermostat, the music, anything the minute it starts getting even a little bit annoying it's gone.

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

 

Sometimes I want to share an idea or a joke with someone and there's nobody there.

 

3) Does independence come easy?

 

I used to say yes but it's getting harder all the time. Then again there used to be a lot more opportunities to go out and socialize before Covid.

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

 

Reaching out to my family and friends sometimes constantly.

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

 

I have a dog that I just adopted. We're still getting to know each other but I can already tell she's a sweetheart.

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

 

So far being 6'1, kinda butch and strong from physical labor jobs has done the trick. But do whatever you need to keep yourself safe.

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

 

I talk to my dog now, but a lot.

 

8.  Do you have friends? 

 

I had more before I moved to Missouri, but I have more family here. I'm still deciding which I like better.

[Guest]

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

The calm and quiet. I like being around people, don't get me wrong. I also love leaving those people again to be by myself ;).

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

If I don't do something, it won't get done. I really really need to vacuum, the dust bunnies are getting agressive...

 

3) Does independence come easy?

Hahahahaha oh yeah, to the point that people rarely offer to help me with anything because I apparently radiate "I can do this myself".

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

I'm having trouble remembering more than one instance. And that was when I was on a group vacation where I really didn't click with the group at all. For me it's definitely true that you can feel more lonely in a crowd than when you're alone.

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

Nope. I like to travel and work shifts. None of it is very conducive to having pets.

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

At home and in my neighbourhood I feel 100% safe. For the rest I just try not to put myself in possibly dangerous situations?

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

Regularly. It's a family trait.

 

8.  Do you have friends? 

A few good ones, and a lot of casual acquaintances.

[Dianthus]

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?
Decorating without compromise. I like to curate the art and objects I have in a way that speaks to me, and I love that I can fill my entire living space to my liking. 

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?
That I'm responsible for everything, I guess. Like rent and utility bills. It's hard to have pets that require regular feeding and attention. Like dogs or cats. 

 

3) Does independence come easy?
For me, yes. Once you figure out how to manage your time and money the rest starts falling in to place. 
I've always tried to be an independent person. I promised myself I would be when I was young and I've accomplished that. 

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?
Less than I used to. It's important to learn how to balance your alone time and the time you spend with friends and family in a way that works for you. I like being by myself, but I'm learning to have more outlets for the times when loneliness does hit. 

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

I wish I did, but right now I don't have the money or time. I have a lot of houseplants though. 

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?
Live on the second floor or higher if you can. Know where all the sharp things in your house are. If you are on that second+ floor, find the escape route from your apartment that doesn't use a door. 

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?
Every day. I have imaginary conversations with people, tell myself stories, sing. 

 

8.  Do you have friends? 
Yes, though I hope to get better at seeing them once it's safer to do so. One thing that helped me meet people was swing dancing. It's a nice form of non-sexual intimacy, and in my experience a very welcoming community.  

[ittybittymessy]

 

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

 

Since I got terrible PTSD 20 years ago,having safe space by myself matters me.

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

 

If I'm drop dead no one will find me.

 

3) Does independence come easy?

 

I live alone for over 35 years but these days I'm not actually independent as disabled.

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

 

When I was healthy it was hard,but now to be lonely means safe.This is a problem.Working with Therapist but my current therapist sucks.

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

 

I have mental 5.5 years old tabby kitty boy.He sometimes tries to kill me.

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

 

I live in Tokyo....and always being careful.

https://www.independent.co.uk/travel/news-and-advice/worlds-safest-cities-index-copenhagen-2021-b1933923.html

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

 

I talk to my cat.

 

8.  Do you have friends? 

 

No.I had lots of friends when I was healthy.also I had many "online friends" when I was committed to a cause until 2 years ago.(Um,things in America drove me crazy,I choose to live)I have ADHD,I tend to act awkward.Not a person easy to make friend.Also this is second language to me.

 

[Anemone hepatica]

I'd like to live with other people and did so for a long time, mostly with flatmates, until a couple of years ago. Moving to live on my own was not my favourite option but the best that was at hand in that particular situation. It's alright, and certainly easier than trying to find flatmates with whom it would work.

 

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

This is difficult. Perhaps having more control over the sounds around me, in other words, no noise from flatmates. Or being able to decorate as I wish without asking anyone's opinion.

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

There are so many, but this is definitely number one:

If I die at home, I won't be found until at least days after it, which will be unpleasant and/or difficult to many people. Also, a traditional funeral with the coffin open won't be possible.

 

3) Does independence come easy?

Independence can mean so many things. I can't remember having much trouble when I first moved away from home. But I don't pretend to be able to do everything by myself. I ask my friends for help if I need an extra pair of hands or a thing I don't own myself. Also, I rent. Owning a flat or a house would require a whole another level of independence.

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

It varies, but quite often. It would be a lot rarer, though, if it weren't for Covid.

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

No. But I have lots of house plants.

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

This question doesn't have much relevance in my life. It has been shocking to read many of your answers to it. I most definitely don't doubt the necessity or sense of the precautions some people have listed, but I can now better appreciate how lucky I am to have lived in such safe places!

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

Hard to say. Not every month. I sing more than talk.

 

8.  Do you have friends?

Yes, and luckily some of them live close by. It was a lot more difficult in the previous place where I lived, because all my friends were hundreds of kilometres away.

[Acing It]

Linked to number 6. I've seen things like this in Germany, not just in underground parking lots but in carparks along the motorway as well. I was puzzled at first, but thinking about it, it sadly makes sense. They are always close to the exit, entrance or so.