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LIVING ALONE


GHOST12345

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Feel free to answer the questions about living alone down below. Tips for first timers are also welcome.

 

 

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

 

3) Does independence come easy?

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

 

8.  Do you have friends? 

 

 

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17 minutes ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

Not having to live with other people.

17 minutes ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

Having to pay more council tax than I would if I lived with someone else.

18 minutes ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

3) Does independence come easy?

Yes

18 minutes ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

4) How often do you face loneliness?

Normally, never. In covid lockdown, regularly.

18 minutes ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many

I have a cat and 3 chickens.

19 minutes ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

I'm a woman and I have never felt unsafe in my home. I lock my door like everyone else, and that's it.

 

19 minutes ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

Never, but I talk to my cat all the time.

20 minutes ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

8.  Do you have friends?

Yes.

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HonoraryJedi

1) Best thing: That's a hard one because it's many small things coming together. Dinner is whenever I choose it to be. Never having to feel like someone is looking over my shoulder. Knowing for sure that no one else is using my towel, and so on.

 

2) Worst thing: My parents no longer randomly give me ice-cream. I kind of miss that.

 

3) Is independence easy: Yes. It's weird how much easier keeping my things in order and getting the chores done is when I'm dealing with my own things in my own apartment.

 

4) Loneliness:  It happens. Though, it is more of an internal, anxiety related thing than a practical living situation thing. I have online friends to reach out to, and a very sociable brother nearby. I usually don't have to be lonely unless my brain tricks me into it.

 

5) Pets: No pets. Grew up with cats though. A plan for the future.

 

6) Being a woman: I don't really understand how I am less safe living alone? I mean, in case someone climbs up my balcony and breaks in through my window there would be safety in numbers. But safety in numbers applies to men as well. Besides, how large percentage of violence against women happen inside the home, by the hands of domestic partners again? I seem to recall that's a high number. One could probably make the argument that women are safer alone.

 

7) Talking to myself: A fair deal, I admit.

 

8) Friends: Yes.

 

Tips: I If you suspect that you are a person who might be prone to isolating yourself when not having other people forced upon you, and you think that might be bad for you, find some way to force yourself into some manner of company. Some regular get together of some kind.

II enjoy the freedom and the breathing space.

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1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

 

Being able to do my own thing when I want.

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

 

Mostly it’s practical stuff. Being responsible for everything myself.

 

It would be nice to have someone to help with domestic chores. Also, I’ve always found it easier to keep things tidy when I’ve house shared because I’ve had to be considerate of my house mate(s).

 

There’s the practical stuff, too. BOGOF offers in supermarkets, single bedroom supplements in hotels, minimum order quantities that are designed for couples and families...

 

3) Does independence come easy?

 

It didn’t to begin with. It’s habit now.

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

 

I was perfectly fine until our second lockdown. That hit me hard. Everyone I knew seemed to be in family units or part of a bubble / extended household, except me. Apparently, I’m too young, healthy, and self-reliant to ‘need’ to be in a bubble! (A friend told me I hadn’t wanted to be in a bubble, which is bizarre because we’d never had a conversation about it. She just assumed...  That hurt, and I plunged into a abyss of soul searching...)

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

 

No. That may change when working from home becomes permanent and I can be around for them.

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

 

I feel safe where I live, so most of the time it’s not an issue for me. (The times I feel unsafe are when I’m visiting cities, particularly ones I don’t know well.)

 

I got my first place on my own at the same time I earned my doctorate. It was a comfort, moving into a house in a new city, to be able to mask my status as a single female.  (How I hate the titles Ms or Miss on so many levels!) I’m very lucky to have been able to do this.

 

Choosing a flat with a decent security system and living close to the bus stop; that gave me confidence in one place.

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

 

Not sure. I have conversations in my head, and sometimes I’m sure I say stuff out loud.


8.  Do you have friends?

 

Yes. (COVID has made me wish more of them were closer by, though.)

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1 hour ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

I work with the public, so coming back to the barn and not having anyone around me is priceless. My intention is to keep it that way for as long as I possibly can. If someone calls me and says hey, I'm stuck in your city, can I crash on your couch for a night, sure. Or if your house burnt down or whatever. Other than that, I'm good. No idea how people deal with having other people around 24/7.

 

 

1 hour ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

Not being able to have a pet. I'm going to get to that when I retire. This is related to my job and my travel habits more than to living alone though. I have got no "least favourite part about living alone". It's great all around. If someone came up to me and said "You can have a dog right now, but this friend of yours will have to move in with you"... thanks but no thanks.

 

 

1 hour ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

3) Does independence come easy?

When I moved out, I found it a bit tricky to establish a "system". The best way to arrange chores and all that so that they fit between work and hobbies and the like. Once you got that figured out, it's basically cruise mode.

 

 

1 hour ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

4) How often do you face loneliness?

Never. I cannot recall any situation where I thought damn, this would be so much better if other people were here. Sometimes I think something like "Hey, X would like that." So it'd be fun if person X were around for their own sake, because I know they'd like what's going on.

 

 

1 hour ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

I'd love to, but it's not compatible with my job.

 

 

1 hour ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

*skips*

 

 

1 hour ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

Mostly when I try to learn something or when I have to memorize something for a short while, like a code or some such.

 

 

1 hour ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

8.  Do you have friends? 

Yes. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world, but I wouldn't want to live with any of them.

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(1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

I can do whatever I want without worrying about other people's habits. I don't have to worry about someone else being in my space and touching, moving, breaking, or otherwise damaging my things. (This mostly applies to roommates, I didn't have much of a concern with this when I lived with family or if I'd lived with friends/a partner)

 

(2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

It's hard to find support when you're in a difficult situation. If I got sick, I'd have to manage sickness by myself. That, and you can't split chores.

 

(3) Does independence come easy?

Yes. Taking care of the place is boring at best and a huge annoyance at worst, but I wouldn't say it's hard, it just has to be done.

 

(4) How often do you face loneliness?

Depends on my mood. More than usual recently because of lockdown, but my lockdown problems are more work-related than related to something social, so I don't have a straight answer to this question.

 

(5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

Not right now because I live in a pet-free flat (landlord's directive), but I may have pets someday, depending on what my situation is like at the time. Not dogs, but cats or rabbits are likely.

 

(6) How can women be safe when being alone?

The same way as everyone else. Keep the door locked at all times, don't answer strangers, and if you're concerned with physical safety when you're headed somewhere at night, bring someone else along with you.

 

(7) How often to you talk to yourself?

Never. People do this? :huh:

 

(8)  Do you have friends? 

Yes. Mostly not in the area, but this is largely due to me having moved here a month before the virus outbreak, so I didn't really get the chance to go much of anywhere.

 

 

 

In the long term I'm hoping to live with a partner, but dating isn't my top priority in life due to how picky I am. I'm aware that it may or may not happen. If it doesn't happen, I'll consider living with a close friend or two if and when that makes sense for all parties involved. I'm not super worried about living alone right now, but I don't want to grow old alone as I know there would be many more advantages than disadvantages to having company (for me personally, at least).

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everywhere and nowhere

Ad 1. Control over my time. I can choose what I want to do at a particular moment.

Ad 2. Lack of flexibility. For example, if I'm waiting for a parcel and don't want to go and pick it up at the post office later, I have to be at home, can't go out...

Ad 3. It depends on the aspect. Financially I'm still dependent on my mother and it's possible that this will never change. Psychologically - I simply always wanted to live alone, already as a teenager I declared that I will never marry, but don't want to continue living with my parents indefinitely.

Ad 4. I sure sometimes do, but generally, I have less need for contact with others than the average person. Already at the age of seven I was able to spend time alone in my room, reading, and not feel like I'm missing anything.

Ad 5. No. I'm allergic to most animals and I also simply don't want to take the responsibility.

Ad 6. I don't feel unsafe or threatened due to living alone. What can I contribute it to? Maybe to the fact that I prefer women also as friends, so I usually have no reasons for letting men into my home.

Not that I have never done potentially dangerous things - for example, I have smoked hash with a guy whom I know to treat seducing every woman he meets as part of his spiritual mission. :lol: You get it: willingly putting myself in a state of relative incapacitation in the company of a person whom I know to be unsafe... Still, nothing bad happened.

Ad 7. Very often. And I very much regret the prevalent pseudopsychological assumption that talking to oneself is Something Bad and a sign of Sickness...

To me it's just tied to the way I think - I'm an extreme verbal thinker, I speak whole sentences in my mind (which also allows me to think in more than one language). Talking to myself is just taking it one step further, making this internal speech audible.

I'm also a habitual ;) diary-keeper - 30 years so far.

Ad 8. Yes, although admittedly, not a lot. I find establishing contact rather hard.

I'm a strange person, "naive" and distrustful at the same time. "Naive" - because I generally assume people's good intentions (and I don't perceive it as anything wrong, hence the quotation marks). Distrustful - because, as an eccentric child, I was forced to visit a counselor and, as a result, developed a habit of preferably keeping my thoughtfeeling to myself, only sharing it with my diary and with people I consider close and trustworthy enough.

I really regret the fact that my mother doesn't make it into this group. She's a decent, very common-sense person, but I'm very different from her, maybe even I am indeed slightly "mad" - but I pose no danger to anyone and have a right to live my life the way I want to. And my experience has been such that whever I tried to speak about my philosophical ideas, my mom would accuse me of being "gushy". Or of being "big-headed". And my probably most extreme act of honesty - coming out to my mom about using psychedelic drugs - was only met with a lot of hostility on her part and an absolute lack of readiness to question her own knee-jerk reactions about "The Drugs".

Since my early teenage years, I have also developed a habit of looking for "surrogate parent figures": I would become friends with trustworthy adults, for example some of my friends' parents. I shared with them what I couldn't share with my mom. Now I'm already long adult, but it continues at least in one case: the friendship with my dentist. (She's about my mother's age, I have known her for years, she's my former neighbour, so it continues the same model.) And indeed, she shows exactly the readiness my mother lacks. While she too has deeply ingrained anti-drug prejudice and admits that she's just scared for me (she's scared that I might unintentionally harm myself through my psychonautic pursuits), she has been willing to borrow books about psychedelics (I lent her three books: Huxley's "Doors of Perception", Stanislav Grof's "Realms of the Human Unconscious" and Huston Smith's "Cleansing the Doors of Perception", in an official Polish translation by myself. :D By the way, I had translated this book yet as a theorist) and to broaden her knowledge about the topic - she recognises that most people just know little and that perhaps their assumptions aren't necessarily just and correct.

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1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

 

Freedom to do what I want when I want.

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

 

Nothing.  I am really good with it.

 

3) Does independence come easy?

 

Yes.  I did wonder when I was facing being alone, as in really alone - no family etc. - how I would cope, but it turned out, very well.

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

 

Usually never, but as @Tystiehas remarked, the lockdowns have been hard for single people, epecially those without close family.  I normally compensate for that with going to concerts and a bird group I belong to, but all that has stopped except on Zoom, which is simply not the same.  I am hoping these things will resume at some point and I don't just have to join in life from behind a screen forever.

 

 5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.  A dog, a cat and two goldfish.  The dog and cat have been dearer than ever to me during the lockdowns, if that is possible.

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

 

I feel pretty safe where I live.  I normally drive back from evening outings,  My dog is small but noisy - at least he would alert me if strangers were around.  If I open the door to cold callers and am holding him, having picked him up when he was barking, they go quietly. :P  I have had cold callers be persistent and one even swore at me for not wanting work done but not since I have had this dog.

 

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?  All the time but not in public.

 

 

8.  Do you have friends?  Yes, but I haven't been able to see them so much, or some even at all, over the lockdowns.  I have a few good friends online.

 

 

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1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

I can do everything my way. I don’t have to compromise with anyone about how the apartment is decorated, where stuff goes, when chores get done, etc.

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

I don’t have anyone to help me do chores.

 

3) Does independence come easy?

Yes for the most part it comes easy for me.

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

Maybe like every couple weeks.

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

I have 2 cats.

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

I keep my door and windows locked and own a few weapons. Of course I also took those precautions when I was still living with my 6 foot tall 220 pound dad so I think that kind of stuff is a good idea for everyone. The apartment complex I live in is gated so that’s also a plus that makes me feel safe eventhough I don’t live in the best neighborhood.

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

A lot. lol

 

8.  Do you have friends? 
Not really. The only people I really hang out with are family members.

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8 hours ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

Like most of the others, the independence. Being able to do whatever I want whenever I want, including being alone when I want.

 

8 hours ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

Probably a lot of my answers will be similar to other posters' answers.

Practical stuff, like not having someone to help in the rare cases that would be needed. The few tasks that need 2 people. When I'm sick I still have to do my own shopping, housework, going to the pharmacy, etc.

Sentimental stuff, like not having someone to celebrate with or share good times.

 

For me, these could be alleviated if I had close friends close by. In fact that would be better for me than having someone share the same living space with me.

 

8 hours ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

3) Does independence come easy?

I was raised to be independent (in part, by happenstance), but I also think I am independent by nature. So I guess the answer is yes.

 

8 hours ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

4) How often do you face loneliness?

Not often. More so when I want to share good times with someone. And like others said, more so this past year, with no one to "bubble" with, no one to come check on me or to bring some cheer. On the flip side, I am also not stuck with people I would need time away from. 

 

8 hours ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

Not at this time. I have had cats at times in the past and may get a couple of cats again some day.

 

8 hours ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

rarely, but I'm not very verbal.

 

8 hours ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

8.  Do you have friends? 

A few. Most don't live anywhere nearby though. There are also people I know and play board games with at the local game store, but who I don't see outside of that (except for a few board game meetups in other venues - a few of us meeting up at a coffee shop to play or once at someone's house).

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1. I love getting to do whatever I want and being as sloppy/ lazy as I want.

2. It can be lonely at times and I have to do all the chores by myself.

3.  I've been living on my own for years now, so I guess. Though I'm still financially dependent on my parents (I live in their In-Law suite)

4. My loneliness varies day to day. I'm for the most part an introvert, but I have missed being around certain people because of Covid.

5. I have a black lab who I adopted 2 years ago and I love more than anything.

6. The neighborhood I live in is relatively safe, though I recommend locking all doors and windows, having a porch light on at night, and if you go on walks, to vary when you do them and where you go.

7. I occasionally burst out into song, make weird noises, or talk to my dog.

8. I have a few online friends, but none that I get to visit irl often (and covid doesnt help, either). I do spend a lot of time with my family

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I love living alone because I suffer with anxiety and people are one of the main things that make me anxious. I also can't stand other people making noise and wanting to fight or create drama.

I do feel lonely sometimes, but living with someone wouldnt necessarily solve that - you can still feel lonely surrounded by people who you dont connect with.

I have a cat who is my best friend and a great house mate 😻😁 I would like a human friend too, but i find making friends very difficult.

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GhoulFriend

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?
Independence to do and explore the things I enjoy without feeling judged or bothered by anyone else. 

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?
Dealing with health problems is my least favorite part. My biggest scare was a medical emergency that involved driving myself to the ER alone, in the middle of the night.

 

3) Does independence come easy?
For me it does, yes. 

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?
Not very often. I stay busy with work and hobbies.

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.
I have one cat.

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?
I haven't personally had an issue with this. My doors are always locked, I mostly keep to myself anyway and don't let anyone into my apartment who I don't already know. And I don't trust a lot of people anyway, so I would have to know you really well to let you into my apartment! I also know some self-defense moves, in the off-chance things go south. 
 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?
Not very often. I'm pretty quiet when I'm by myself. Sometimes I'll sing along to music, though! 

 

8.  Do you have friends? 
Not very many, and those few that I have aren't particularly close. I have a hard time connecting with people for whatever reason. I want to improve on this, but I do my best to get along in life anyway. 

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I've always been a person who needs copious amounts of time by myself. I find even the people I really like tiring after a while, and it is a sense of relief to be able to close my door and have just my own company. I lodged with one family for a few months where I felt comfortable - I was a bit like a daughter - but otherwise I find it much easier to live alone. I generally like my own ways, even though I might make more of an effort about some things if I had others who had to tolerate them ... If there is mess, it is my mess. I can do what I like, when I like, I always know what is in the cupboards or the fridge ... And so on.

 

There are times when I could use another person to help with things, especially when ill. Sometimes it might be nice to have someone 'on the spot' to do something spontaneous with. It can be more expensive to live by yourself.

 

My mother forced my sisters and me to be independent way earlier than the parents of my contemporaries did, which had pros and cons. It made me able to look after myself from early on, in a practical sense, anyway.

 

I suppose that I occasionally feel alone, but it doesn't take a great deal of human contact to fulfil my requirements.

 

I don't have pets, though I have quite a lot of canine and feline friends who I meet on my walks. I sometimes think that I would like my own dog, but I would be leaving it alone for large parts of each day (when working my usual, rather than COVID pattern), which I don't feel is fair.

 

I live in a generally safe place. I take sensible precautions without being paranoid.

 

I occasionally debate things with myself in my head, or even more occasionally with other people, but not out loud (at least not as far as I'm aware ...).

 

I suppose that I have more acquaintances than really good friends, but I do have one or two of the latter.

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EineKleineNachtmusik
On 3/20/2021 at 9:11 AM, Dinosaurs27 said:

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

Peace.

Don't know.

On 3/20/2021 at 9:11 AM, Dinosaurs27 said:

3) Does independence come easy?

Yes.

On 3/20/2021 at 9:11 AM, Dinosaurs27 said:

4) How often do you face loneliness?

Sometimes.

On 3/20/2021 at 9:11 AM, Dinosaurs27 said:

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

No, because I'm renting a room. If I would own a house, I'd like to have dog(s).

On 3/20/2021 at 9:11 AM, Dinosaurs27 said:

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

Aloud - rarely (usually when something really pisses me off,  like my housemates leaving some mess).

In my mind - all the time.

On 3/20/2021 at 9:11 AM, Dinosaurs27 said:

8.  Do you have friends? 

Depends how you define the word "friends".

Probably yes, but I don't like labelling people. 

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MaryInTheMists

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

 

Getting to decorate however I want. My style tends to be a bit gothic, and most of my roommates weren't down for having bats and skulls everywhere. Also, getting to cook whatever I want, whenever I want. It was a good day when I realized there was nothing stopping me from cooking bacon at midnight. 

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

 

Not having the support that you would get from living with roommates or family. I worry about what I would do if I got sick or injured and couldn't do things like cook, clean, run errands, or get up the stairs into my second floor apartment. 

 

3) Does independence come easy?

 

For me, yes. 

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

 

All the time. (Covid probably has something to do with this. I moved to a new state a few weeks before the pandemic - all of my family and friends live several hundred miles away, and I haven't been able to meet anyone new. But when I lived alone before, and had local friends and family, I was rarely lonely.) 

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

 

Not right now, my current landlord doesn't allow pets. My two cats live with my family. 

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

 

If you're thinking about getting an apartment, don't rent one on the first floor if you can help it. 

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

 

Sometimes. 

 

8.  Do you have friends? 

 

Yes, but they all live in other states. I'm hoping to move closer to some of my close friends when the project I'm working on is over. 

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I am currently in my fourth year of university and have lived alone in a flat off campus for the past three years : ) 

 

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

My favourite part is definitely being able to be completely myself in my own space. I don't have to keep peaking over my shoulder to make sure nobody sees that i'm chatting on AVEN. I can stick up poems or pictures or something that means something to me, without having to explain it to anybody. I can also hang out with whoever I want to and come home at whatever time I want to without worrying about it. I absolutely love it! 

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

At times is does get exceptionally lonely. And as soon as I need some social interaction everyone always seems to suddenly be busy. But I just go for a walk or watch the sunset or something it doesn't seem so bad anymore : ) 

 

3) Does independence come easy?

It did come easy to me, straight out of high school, moving to a place a 10 hour drive from home. But I have always been a very independent person in general.

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

See question 2. I can go about three or four days without leaving my flat or seeing any people and still feel fine : ) I've mostly just gotten really good at keeping myself really busy all the time!

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

have pets but they are back home with my mom. I don't have a garden of my own here : ( 

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

From a women who has lived alone for the past three years, the only advice I can give you is to be smart. I don't know how safe it is where you live, but here in South Africa, you need to be careful. I never walk anywhere after dark. I never use headphones when I walk. I never hold my phone or laptop in my hands when I walk. I carry pepper spray and a pocket knife. I have 3 locks on my door. I never open the door unless I have looked out my window to see who is there. And, so far, I haven't experienced any problems : ) 

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

... I don't 😅 is this something I should be doing lol

 

8.  Do you have friends? 

I have plenty of friends from Uni, some of which live really close to where I stay. We often pop around to each others places for tea or go for walks. But fair warning: it did not start out this way. I spent about the first year and a half without friends but slowly made a few really good ones : ) be patient. 

 

 
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I'm going to reply to this from a slightly different angle. I no longer live alone, but less than two years ago I would never have seen this coming. That's history and seen in the over 50's thread last year 

On 3/20/2021 at 9:11 AM, Dinosaurs27 said:

 

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

 

3) Does independence come easy?

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

 

8.  Do you have friends? 

 

 

1) There's no debate about what to have for dinner based upon dietary requirements, likes and dislikes etc of other household members. 

This may seem an odd selection, but since no longer being alone both of us have had to adapt our food habits to accommodate our partner. Some are easy, such as making our own pizzas from premade bases (I can't dairy, and my partner hates olives) some are harder to accommodate (I've not had a mushroom or sprout for six months) 

 

2) (casting mind back to when I identified as aroace) Having to be very picky about when you can put laundry outside to dry. This, again, may be an odd answer, but a tumble dryer costs £lots to run, if the house is empty during the day, no heating means no drying, and of you're on your own you can't put laundry out until quite late in the year if you finish work late. 

 

3) I lived on my own for 18 years and had no issues. You subconsciously know what has to be done to maintain a home, knuckle down and get it done. Financially raising a deposit then maintaining a mortgage has been a PITA, but by the same token there's no family to support 

 

4), before covid never. I was working 0600-1800, and darts, cribbage, general social club life 1900-2300 seven days a week. With hindsight this may have been because I was lonely, I didn't want to be in an empty house, so I stayed out of it. Covid, especially UK lockdown, then I felt lonely. Every evening it was get home, just me and the cats, I'd often not speak to anyone until the next day at work, but even then I was one of the lucky ones. My job kept me out of the house, I could talk to people all day, so I'm grateful, not grousing. 

 

5) since 2000 (many before) 

 

2000-2005 Hazel rabbit

2001-2006 Cleo rabbit

2002-2008 Snowball rabbit

2003-2012 Bunter rabbit 

 

Not all we're planned 

 

2016-2021 Susie cat 

2016- now Sheeba cat (Susie and Sheeba were littermates adopted together, but Susie passed away this year 

 

6) I'll decline to answer this, because my viewpoint on the correct punishment for sex offenders is not appropriate for a moderator to post, but a gibbet is is involved 

 

7) yes, occasionally. When I was alone it was often the only way I could get an intelligent conversation (Thank you Matthew Parrish for that quote). Now it's more a motivational thing as my job is solitary 

 

8) yes, happily. Ranging from the "Please stay with me, I have a spare room" type friends, to the "I'm out of my depth here, any ideas" friends, two AVENistes who know something so sensitive that I can't post on forum, those who actually have kept in touch since I moved (which revealed a lot about who I thought of as friends, but were merely acquaintances, ready for a laugh and a chat, but aren't prepared to even reply to texts) 

 

 

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1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

No roommates to deal with.  From their bad habits to worrying if you're bothering them when you're up at 2AM watching TV or listening to the stereo.

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

Having to do all the chores.  From vacuum cleaning the carpet to cleaning the damn toilet.  Also, I own a single family house so I have all the yard work to do; mowing the lawn, trimming the bushes, shoveling the driveway, etc.

 

3) Does independence come easy?

Right now it does since I'm still able-bodied.  But I'm 65 now and I have noticed some of the more strenuous yard work more difficult to do.  I guess there'll come a time where I'll have to hire people to do that.  If you're talking financially, I had a good paying job and now that I'm retired a really good pension.  My mortgage is paid off so no money worries.

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

Not often but the pandemic is causing me to not see anyone in person.  Social media helps but loneliness has been a bit more of an issue.  I got both my vaccination shots recently so I should start seeing people again soon.  Yay.

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

No but I have thought about getting a couple of cats.

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

Have a good home security system and maybe own a firearm?  One woman I know who lives alone has these.

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

Probably more than I should.  :)

 

8.  Do you have friends?

Yes

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SpaceDustbin
On 3/20/2021 at 10:11 AM, Dinosaurs27 said:

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

That I can do whatever I want without being judged, and I have a place where I don't have to socialise (it's very nice to have an evening of peace and quiet after work ;)) 

 

On 3/20/2021 at 10:11 AM, Dinosaurs27 said:

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

I'm not always very motivate dt9 cook for myself, while that wouldn't be a problem if I'd cook for someone else as well, and having to do all the chores on my own (plus paying the full amount for every. single. thing) 

 

On 3/20/2021 at 10:11 AM, Dinosaurs27 said:

3) Does independence come easy?

It goes with trial and error. I lived in a shared student accommodation for several years, then shared apartments and finally my own apartment, so I gradually started to rely less on others

 

On 3/20/2021 at 10:11 AM, Dinosaurs27 said:

4) How often do you face loneliness?

Outside of the corona situation, I don't think I'm lonely, as I usually saw enough people at work, or friends outside of work hours, but now with the lockdown and very strict rules for visiting others, it can get a bit lonely every now and then. Still, it helps that I'm used to communicating via apps, because I've lived abroad for some years. 

 

On 3/20/2021 at 10:11 AM, Dinosaurs27 said:

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

Nope. Somehow I always end up at places that don't allow pets. Would live to have a cat or a rabbit, though. 

 

On 3/20/2021 at 10:11 AM, Dinosaurs27 said:

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

I always lock the door when I'm home, and never answer the door if I don't expect visitors or mail. I've also mostly lived in flats/apartment blocks, and then I always make sure to not live on the ground floor. 

 

On 3/20/2021 at 10:11 AM, Dinosaurs27 said:

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

Occasionally. Mostly just swearing 😂

 

On 3/20/2021 at 10:11 AM, Dinosaurs27 said:

8.  Do you have friends?

Yep, but have only seen 3 of them 'in real life' last year, because of corona of course 

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42 minutes ago, SpaceDustbin said:

but have only seen 3 of them 'in real life' last year

That's 3 more than I have seen. :P (practically a party! :lol:

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SpaceDustbin
2 hours ago, daveb said:

That's 3 more than I have seen. :P (practically a party! :lol:

What can I say... Party animal extraordinaire 😎😂

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3 hours ago, SpaceDustbin said:

What can I say... Party animal extraordinaire 😎😂

:lol: :D 

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On 3/20/2021 at 3:11 AM, Dinosaurs27 said:

living alone for almost a year now

 

 

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

nobody else in my space unless I want them there.

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

keeping things clean

 

3) Does independence come easy?

its been okay, just hang out w/ my hobbies and online friends a lot

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

few times a week

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

yes, 1 cat. she keeps me company a lot and makes living alone a fair bit easier I think

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

get familiar with your surroundings, get to know your neighbors, extra locks on doors

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

constantly, but I did that prior to living alone

 

8.  Do you have friends? 

yeah, a few

 

 

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MCTlibrarian

For context, I'm 37 and have been living on my own for the past 16 years.

 

1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

I'm a bit on the sensitive side so I tend to try and anticipate everyone else's needs all the time, making it very hard for me to relax and unwind whenever anybody else is around. Living alone is pretty much the only way I manage to get by without going crazy 😉

So I guess my favorite part is that I get to just not communicate at home unless I want to.

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

Having to cope with absolutely everything on my own. I am handy, but it'd be nice to spontaneously have someone to hold up a shelf while I'm unscrewing its brackets, for example.

Also, having nobody to accept packages when I'm not home 😉

 

3) Does independence come easy?

I'd say yes, but then I have a very demanding sibling and had to become independent pretty early on in my life.

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

Pre-COVID I'd have said, on about 2 out of 100 days. Nowadays it's a little closer to 10 out of 100.

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

I used to have cats; I'd take in older floofs that needed a new home for what little remained of their nine lives. Since I've become an auntie, I'm away on a lot of weekends, so I haven't had a cat in two years.

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

That's not really much of an issue where I live, but I do keep a can of pepper spray in my handbag just in case. Haven't needed it yet, knock on wood.

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

Pretty much daily. I mostly tend to swear at inanimate objects if they're not behaving like they should 😁

 

8.  Do you have friends? 

Yes, loads, love them to bits.

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1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

I get home, I shut the door, and I don’t have to answer to anyone about anything I do until I walk out the door again. It’s my space, filled with my things, and I can do what I want. 
 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

I have to motivate myself all the time. It’s easy to get stuck in a rut, maybe if someone else was around they’d push me to try new things more often. Also, I can’t get someone else to deal with wasps.

 

3) Does independence come easy?

Yes. To a point. I’m happy to spend days on my own, within my comfort zone. Push me too far outside my comfort zone and I’d rather someone else there to share the scary excitement with. 
 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

TBH, I think now I’ve discovered I’m ace/aro (still figuring it out), that might happen less, or at least I’ll be able to deal with it better. I used to think there was something wrong with me that I ended up living alone and hadn’t found “the one” or ever even wanted to find “the one”. Loneliness was then a failing in some way. Now I’m realising I don’t ever want to find a partner, occasional loneliness is a choice. 
I also think it’s worth noting that people who live with other people can be lonely. I spent a year in a flat with 5 others when I was a student and it was one of the worst years of my life. My friend says the year before her divorce was the loneliest of her life.

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

I’d love to have a dog, but when we’re not in lockdown, I’m at work all day and I don’t have a garden. It wouldn’t be fair. 
 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

I’m lucky, I’ve rarely felt unsafe, although I can be a bit oblivious sometimes. I take basic precautions when going about my day to day life. When I’m travelling, I’m very choosy about which hotel I stay in, careful about where I go after dark, and what I tell people about myself.

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

Not often out loud. In my head, all the time. I sing along to music quite a bit, and shout at the tv when I’m watching sport.

 

8.  Do you have friends? 
Yes. Some live about a mile away, some a lot further afield. There’s a group of us who have been friends for years, we’ve been having Friday night Zoom get togethers during lockdown, which has been great. Usually we only all get together for weddings and funerals etc. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Coming up on three years living on my own, and planning to buy a small house or condo myself when my lease is up! (Assuming the market calms the fork down by then.) I lived with family and roommates through eight years of undergrad and grad school first, and spent the whole time wishing for my own space.

 

1) What is your favorite part about living alone? Lack of judgment. I have never felt truly comfortable around other people, even when I liked and cared for them.

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone? Lack of affection/support. Not that I've had that since moving out of my parents' house after high school, but the longing is definitely there for a day when I will be able to just go get a hug when I want one, or having someone around who will care for me when I'm having a rough day, or the motivation to care for them to make me get my butt off the couch and cook dinner. The knowledge that I'm not going to be fed/soothed/comfortable unless I do it myself is pretty demoralizing sometimes and always makes a bad day worse.

 

Also hanging curtains or putting together furniture is a bitch without a second pair of hands.

 

3) Does independence come easy? Pretty much? I'm not really wired to be dependent, and I have been lucky to never have to fall back on safety nets that may or may not be there. (Although it would be nice to know for sure that they would be there.)

 

4) How often do you face loneliness? All of the days :D

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many. One cat! He is the house panther in my icon, and he is the best 💛

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone? Do some research on your neighborhood (crime stats, perceived vs. actual safety stats), and take reasonable precautions. Visit at night and see how you feel about it. Get to know your neighbors. Check out demographics too--how many households are single women with no male present? (I think that's the census-y term). If you feel unsafe, seek out self-defense resources, keep a bat by your bed, figure out a few different methods of egress (good advice for anyone), do what you need to feel safe. If it's an option for you, get a dog with a big bark. In grad school I lived with another young woman in a pretty sketchy area; we had 1 german shepherd and 0 problems.

 

Currently, I live in an apartment building with no pet rent or breed limit. Which means if anyone walks past my door, my neighbor's great big dog starts a-barking no matter their intentions, and you can't tell which unit it's coming from! I'm also on the second floor, which helps with energy costs and a feeling of security. The windows do not lock, so I got some finished wood at a hardware store and had them cut it to the right length to brace them closed; they are now more secure than a a little latch would make them. I can also cross them and have a window both secured and cracked open, which is lovely in the spring and fall.

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself? Rarely aloud. I do talk to the cat frequently, and I sing to myself probably more than the neighbors like, but they don't complain.

 

8.) Do you have friends? A few; I'm very content with not being very social but I wish I connected with people more easily. I'm friendly with a few neighbors on a level of 'will jump each other's cars if necessary.'

 

Advice: to the best of your resources, make your space one you are happy with. It's easy to put up with things that are annoying/untidy if you know no one will see them, but for me caring for my home as a gift for future me makes me feel better all around. It's also much easier to keep things clean if they start from there. For me, it really does make a difference.

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1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

Complete freedom. I don't live like a slob but also am not a neat-freak. I'm probably overly concerned about how I look when out in public, but at home I can also just let it all hang loose ... but am always fully clothed! 😆 ... just mean shorts and an old shirt, always. I'll run to get changed when I see someone coming to the door.

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

Not having someone there to hear my sarcastic comments on the thing I'm watching, or to share tidbits I / they know about it.

 

3) Does independence come easy?

Pretty much, yeah. Been doing it since I left home, but even as a teen made a lot of my own meals, did laundry, etc.

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

Not so much. The things that make me most long for someone are seeing two really good friends have a moment, or thinking about one of my close friends who now lives too far away for hangouts.

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

Nope. I want a dog, but am still kinda transient, looking for the perfect career/location and hope that's overseas so don't want to have to part with one. I also grew up in the country and loved seeing our dogs run free. Not a knock on house dogs or people who have to crate a dog, but I'd want mine to run about and have the freedom of the house.

 

Spoiler

Does my landlady's old swayback horse, Garth, count? I feed him my carrot tops before my morning jog/walk every day. :D

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7) How often to you talk to yourself?

Never, except swears or exclaiming at something funny. My internal monologue, however, sounds way classier and more intelligent than I do when speaking out loud. 😆

 

8.  Do you have friends? 

A fair bit, I guess, but none I hang out with regularly. My closest chums, as mentioned before, live so far away and I've not yet found anyone cool enough to spend quality time with on a regular basis like I did with them.

 

Covid has taught me that being social at work and when I coach sports is a big part of my not really being lonely or wanting a serious relationship. It's been a bit of a shock / revelation of how much that was true now that both are cut off and, late-in-life asexual realization factored in, that I might actually want a QPR type scenario or some kind of life partnership  to make my 'pretty darn good' life a little more interesting and active.

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1) What is your favorite part about living alone?

Not being bothered or judged. It is my space. Mine. Grr.

 

2) What is your LEAST favorite part about living alone?

Taking care of more complicated tasks like repairs on my own.

 

3) Does independence come easy?

Absolutely.

 

4) How often do you face loneliness?

Occasionally, but here mainly because I don't know anyone locally. I've never had a problem just going to a friend and coming home to bliss.

 

5) Do you have pets? If so, what kind & how many.

1 dog, at all times.

 

6) How can women be safe when being alone?

I think the other people have offered more ideas than I can present.

 

7) How often to you talk to yourself?

Never.

 

8.  Do you have friends? 
I just moved here, so no, not yet. I moved away from all of my local friends and family though.

 

Really, my idea living situation is having my own space but being near a lot of friends, so... college was really nice.

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OH HEY FOR ADVICE:

 

Quart freezer baggies. Unless you like cooking every day, or making a lot of food then eating it for a week, don't quarter down recipes to an appropriate size. Make the one that serves 8, eat some and stick some in the fridge for leftovers, then freeze the rest in quart freezer baggies, which holds 1-3 servings, stores flat in the freezer (it's worth double bagging and OMG LABEL IT) and thaws fast.

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