aroaces, what spaces are you more comfy in?

[cyancat]

a question for the aroace folk out there: are you more comfortable in asexual (but not strictly aromantic) spaces or aromatic (but not strictly asexual) spaces?

 

context; i’ve found that because my aroace-ness isn’t equal - as in, one i see the world through over the other, i have a preference of the spaces i’m comfortable in. so even though i’m aroace, i’d rather be in one space than the other.

 

[cross post on arocalypse too]

 

[Guest]

Could there be a "both" option? I don't feel any difference.

[Astrea]

Aromantic would be my first choice. Mainly because asexual lives still revolves around coupledom / romantic relationships / crushes... which are things I can't relate to at all. The main thing about my social life is that I'm not, never been and never will be part of a couple. I went to look for other people in the same situation because THAT's what was making me feel estranged from the rest of the population, not the sex part (a lot of allosexual couples don't have much sex anyway... I remember reading a study saying that over half of couples in Japan never had sex again after the birth of their first child... and it's a private thing anyway so the fact that some people have sex and I don't is easy to ignore for me and I think it doesn't have much bearing on your life when you are not in a romantic relationship).

[gracie collins]

outer space

[Barbio]

On 2/27/2021 at 12:00 AM, theV0ID said:

Could there be a "both" option?

Seconding this.

 

It really just depends on what specifically is weighing on my mind at a particular time and which community I feel would be more receptive and understanding; that's the reason I seek out such spaces in the first place, is so that I can "get it off my chest" and try to find people who can relate and offer insight. That's why I just go to AVEN for both, since there's plenty of folks from both communities on here. 😉

[cyancat]

On 2/27/2021 at 2:00 AM, theV0ID said:

Could there be a "both" option? I don't feel any difference.

added a no preference!

[Guest]

For me they feel intertwined. I can't relate to people having romantic attractions, but also not to people wanting sex. One doesn't feel more defining than the other.

[Riffraff]

I feel like aromantics are more aware of aroaces than aces are, and tend to include them more naturally. A lot of ace spaces focus heavily on a desire for a romantic partner, which I don't relate to, and sometimes they can imply that not feeling romantic love is  bad. Aro spaces tend to be better about it.