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am i truly ace?


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Haley Carpenter

hello everyone! i feel like i usually pop on over here when i’m having a sexuality crisis, and i’m once again having one!

 

recently i got into a relationship after a drastic breakup. i’m really happy in this relationship and it truly feels magical.

 

the issue is, i’m being to question if i’m truly asexual. i’ve never felt sexual feelings, but i feel like i might sometime? my gf and i have made out and such and she plans on giving me a hickey (tmi i’m sorry), and i’m definitely here for all of that. i’m not against us ever doing anything that involves boobs or whatever, but does that mean i’m not ace? i never, truly want to have sex. but are these things considered sexual that i’m going to do? 

 

sorry i’m having a crisis hehe

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VeryAsexyIndeed

As you might know, asexuality is on a spectrum and so even if you sometimes feel sexual attraction towards your gf that doesn’t always mean that you’re not asexual, you could be gray-ace (rarely feeling sexual attraction) or somewhere else on the spectrum? Idk only you can truly know what you’re feeling and what label fits you, if any. Ace is often also used as an umbrella term for people on the ace spectrum so you can totally just call yourself asexual if you want to, even if you suspect you’re not 100% ace✌️🌈🖤🤍💜

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An Awkward Ace

I may not be the most knowledgeable, but.. 😅

 

Given what you've said here I'd say you might look into some of the other sexualities that Asexuality umbrellas, but If you feel like you're Ace then you're Ace!

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Sean_Bird

That sounds more like sensual and romantic attraction, rather than sexual attraction to me.

 

If making out feels more on the sexual side for you and you feel sexual attraction for your partner, but you've never felt it otherwise, you could look into demisexual as a label. As a person who experiences a lot of sensual attraction but not sexual, I don't consider making out to be necessarily a sexual thing unless the people involved experience sexual attraction/consider it as such. With my ex, who was sexual, I used to enjoy making out as a sensual experience, whereas he viewed it as a warm up to sex. For him it was sexual, for me it wasn't.

 

Your situation sounds ace to me, but what label you use is up to you. Best of luck, and sending you good vibes. :)

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Kieran the Vampire

I agree with Sean_Bird. That sounds more sensual than sexual.

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Well, i'm going to go against the prevailing mood of this thread and advise you to consider maybe demi or gray.

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LittlestAce

I think being in a relationship can really confuse matters, because sometimes I feel the same way as you. But I consider myself fully ace, I just have very strong romantic and sensual attraction to my partner. Wanting to be physically close to them because you love them and you want intimacy with them doesn't mean we're not ace. I'm personally sex-positive and can enjoy the physical feeling of what some consider sexual touch, but personally I've always thought it was sensual touch, being closer to my partner. I've never wanted sex, I just want to be close. Just thought I'd add my thoughts here, cause maybe you feel the same way! 😊

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